18, Pregnant And Single....very Confused!!!! Advice Please?

Hi, first of all, once you have proved he is the father of your child, you will get child support. There are lots of single moms out there (been there done that) mine is 23 now! It can be done! Its not all fun and games.... As for him telling you if you have this baby he will loose his daughter? Get real. He can't loose his daughter. If his ex is this simple minded, tell him to take visitation rights to court. He has legal rights to see his daughter, it doesn't matter is you are pregnant and she gets all pissed......This man sounds as though he needs to grow up and he has 10 years on you now. I needs to step up to the plate. If you're gonna dance, you gotta pay the fiddler............. I would not even consider abortion either, there are lots of people who you can get help from! I think you've done pretty damned good to be only 18 and to be supporting yourself up to now! Keep us posted! 8)

Thank you for the advice. Well the thing about his daughter is that he served her with papers and tried getting custody but then he found out that a conviction on his record from years ago has affected him being able to win. He had a domestic dispute and the lady in the court office told him that with that conviction, he gives up the right to have any say in the custody. His ex is the one that gets the say and he pretty much has to go with what she wants. That is why he is so worried. He does need to grow up in many areas but then again I feel what hes going through as well....I know I can do it, im just scared and nervous as hell.....But thanks agian and hope to hear back from you.

Hey sweetie, I am very proud of you. I went back and read your other post. If you and your boss are this "tight" I know you can talk to him /her and they would understand the situation and you wouldn't feel so stressed. Do not feel sorry for this boyfriend. He did this to himself years before he met you. Now its your turn to shine and you have to start thinking about you.....You do not need stress and worry at this time.....You can do it and your"re gonna be just fine! Kiss kiss

Not sure where you are, but do you not have family or friends who can support you? I know if it were my daughter no matter what kind of relationship we had going at the time....I would be there for her in a minute!

Hello fairy godmother....Thanks for the support....But no I dont have any family that could help, I left my grandparent's home in february and we arent talking and I know for a fact they wouldnt be open to helping me at all.....And my mother passed away when I was 6 and my dad is in san francisco with his g/f who I dont get along with and I dont want to leave my job down here in la.....This is so hard because my boyfriend was talking to me last night and he was just like, "baby, for the both of us, even though its going to be hard for you, can we just not have this baby right now and then I can introduce you to my family the right way and eventually introduce you to my daughters mom and then when everything is going ok we can have a baby, don't think I don't want to have a kid with you, I just cant lose my daughter and I want things to be right, I want my family to accept you and us be happy and financially ready as well". So when he says that, its like I really want things to be that way but I dont think I could go through with an abortion....But I really dont want to lose him either you know? I would never do anything I didnt want, just to keep him but its just hard because I mean thats how I would want things to be so I dont know what to do......Im so confused......And there are even times when I feel like im not ready......I get really scared that im making the wrong decision, but when I think of abortion, I cringe at the thought of how I would take it after I got it, I know myself and I would dwell on it forever, so im soooo stuck and dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I know I could never do adoption so what are my choices here???????

Honey those are your options....Abortion, adoption, or being a parent. I'm sorry there just isn't any more for you to choose from.

18 is very young to be pregnant, but so is 23 which is how old I am. I'm going to be a single mom, and i'm going to make it! Dad can say he's going to leave all he wants, but there is something called child support and he'll have to pay up. It is your decision whether you will take him to court in this matter, but it takes two to tango...You didn't get pregnant on your own. He's 28 and plenty old enough to know better. What a jerk for putting you in this position and only thinking about himself. You need to decide what you are going to do because your belly isn't getting any smaller. Will your parents support you at all? I had a tough relationship and I walked out on him because he doesn't know the concept of responsibility, but my mother has been very supportive because that's what parents do.

Hello, thanks to everyone for the advice...Today I thought about having an abortiona nd for a while I thought its prolly the right thing to do. But then again I think about it and all my life I have had the ones ive loved walk out on me and leave me stranded.Ive never really been loved and cared for the way a person should be. So thats when I start to think that having this baby would be so healing for me because it will love me unconditionally and I will love it more than anything. But then part of me feels like im not ready for all that. I am just so confused, I swear. If I had all the money I needed then I would be all for it. But I am 18 years old and I live on my own so it would be very hard financially. And I hate to rely on other ppl because I like to feel that I have control of my life and that im secure and stable, thats what keeps me going....Has anybody ever done this in my type of situation? I mean my dad said I could move in with him for a while but I dont know if I want to do that cuz that would mean leaving my job (me and my boss are really close and I like my job, and I make good money here for my age) and all my friends.....I would have to find another job up there and all that.....Is it worth it? Would I regret havin a child? Most ppl say they dont in any way but you never know......Can someone please tell me some advice and what they think I should do? Thank you!!!!

You are starting to remind me a lot of myself! I don't like talking about the abortion i've had before, but from my experience it hurt me a lot emotionally! I wouldn't recomend it at all. Sometimes we feel trapped, but you have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm almost 20 weeks pregnant now, and I can't tell you how much peace I get when I feel my baby moving around. Its the most amazing feeling in the world. I had a hard time growing up too, and I felt I wasn't really cared or loved at times, but think about how much you can offer your child knowing how important it is to be nurtured. I don't know if you believe in god, but I think god wants me to speak to you and help you realize how beautiful making a baby is. Being a single parent is going to be hard, but i've had a hard enough life that I honestly think this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. You will not regret having a baby, you will regret giving it up. Its up to you, i'm not going to make your decision for you, but i'm telling you from experience that you are going to feel so empty if you abort it. The universe tends to unfold as it should, and the more you welcome this, then the bigger your smile will start to unveil itself.

I just want to tahnk you so much for the advice...Its become such a hard decision for me because I really care about the father and we live together so I have become so attched to him and used to ahving him around all the time. I really have nobody down here but him, I mean I have my best friend but she isnt always there you know? So it hard cuz I almost dont want to leave him but I know if I have the baby that im going to have to. Then the question is, where do I live? This is so hard, I have been so upset lately that I almost htink I might be going into depression. When I was 15 I was with the love of my life!!!. And he passed away when we were together, it absolutely devistated me!!!! Well, last night when me and my boy were laying down in bed, I started hysterically crying, to be honest, I felt the same exact way I did when I found out my boyfriend died....I was hurting and crying sooo bad that my boyfriend who has been the biggest problem lately about everything, he started cryin tellin me to stop and how sorry he was for makin me feel like that, he was cryin so much just holding me so tight saying sorry over and over again.....I hadnt felt like that in so long, I have only felt like that once in my life, when my boyfriend passed away...I was feeling like that because I was thinking about how I had to abort my child or leave my boyfrined and do it all alone....Literally!!! No family no nothing!!!! Im so confused because of so many reasons...Please help me....

I am so scared and feel so trapped. I am 17yers old and 12weeks pregnant. I found out at 7weeks and made the decision to keep the baby. My step mum has bought me loads of things for the baby really really early, has spent hundreds and hundreds of pounds, have changed their living arrangements to prepare for the arrival of the baby and im starting to have second thoughts. The dad doesnt want anything to do with either of us, he lives far away anyway so I knew I wudnt get a great deal of support from him, and my mum isnt speaking to me either. I feel so trapped, my stepmum told everyone about the pregancy (all my family etc) its just too late to do anything about it, I keep bursting into tears, im not ready for this im really not but I cant let everyone down. I find myself praying for a miscarriage at times and I feel like such an awful person cos at the same time I know if I had an abortion or miscarried id be so so upset. I just need a way out. Someone please help.