Teen Pregnancy Forum - Need Advice (kinda Longish

Pregnancy Forum > Teen Pregnancy Forum > Need Advice (kinda Longish

What happens during labor? What do contractions feel like? And how do I know that labor has begun? Read on to learn about birthing basics....

Q: Need Advice (kinda Longish

asked by: diamondsz on August 11th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

I so have a big issue....

Im into some other guy, yes I married and we flirt but this guy makes me feel human, I dont feel like ive been dragged out of the trash instead im full of energy I look forward to everything and yes work can you believe I have not missed a day he just makes me happy.

I have a thing for men with glasses dont ask or somewhat punkish/intellect and im meeting alot of doing it decent men

im just upset because im lucky if I can cuddle/get hug from my hubby 2 a months I understand/belief of marriage is friendship and sex but im lucky to have a convo where he actually talks to me and sex is boring now...

Anyways I dont know what I want anymore all I know is im happy when im not at home I daydream about the doing it guy like what

im usually not sappy have no care for other men since im a feminist but f*ck how could a guy stir me up like that I want to jump him, I could avoid him but yeah that would mean moving from my house.

I know men think about sex alot but so do I and I hate it when neither can have influence but this guy is so open am I just going throught a phase.....

Hubby has put my kids life in alot of stupid sitiuations it is being dealt with I have someone checking up on him but I hate him somedays so bad for what he did yes its the past but my doing it kids arrgh

i would like to say I love this guy but I dont know what I feel and I dont believe in love I want to have my freedom.My kids and someone who respects me as a family unit is that too much to ask how hard is it for mine to get that doing it point

anyways I needed to get this out I dont know if I could love my husband anymore but for the sake of a family I will stay with him, I know I said I dont believe in divorce but I dont know im sick of the abuse im just doing it sick of it I want a real person.

Replies(12)

DaliciaLynn

replied on August 11th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

If your not happy with the way your hubby is treating you or your kids and you don't feel safe then he isn't worth staying with babe! I always trust my feelings, even if that means getting hurt. Some people think their really in love, and sometimes not but it's life and life is all about learning a lesson. It's easy to find a man that will love you, but it's hard to find one to love your kids too.

If your not happy, which in your post it sounds like your not. Get a divorce! You can do way better. Don't let anyone hold you back and trust how you feel.

I would honestly tell you to just cheat, but that does nothing but hurt other people, and will harm your relationship even more.

Becky

replied on August 12th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

I believe in marriage but I also believe in being happy. If your marriage is not making you happy then leave. I've learnt you need to make the most out of your life.

There is no point starting an affair, that will just mask the problem temporarily. You need to think about your future and what will make you happy.

diamondsz

replied on August 12th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

I just dont know if I solely going through a phase, I dont want to ruin a relationship and at the same time I dont know what im feeling, but anyways thanks for the info so far im just screwed if I do go and screwed if I stay.

Part of the story is my hubbys idiotic friend and second I was talking to a councillor I was venting about his friend and they call cas anyways I have a ameeting but they told if they find something wrong with hubby I have to leave my whole life job friends etc to stay home with the kids..

My hubby was drinking around the kids his buddy is into substance abuse of different things he was doing caca in front of my kids not only that but he slightly influenece my husband. I gave hubby a choice, he has other friends I asked him to stop hanging out with will or dont hang out till hes clean I think thats pretty doing it decent of me to ask right

anyways sorry just really upset

Mabel

replied on August 12th, 2006

Moderator

Being an 'old' lady, let me give you some perspective on the other end of a relationship.

I'm not judging. And I certainly am not saying I haven't been there. My first husband was a real winner *said with dripping sarcasm* who regularly beat me while he was blacked out drunk and sold drugs from our home. Neat, huh?

If you are unhappy, fix that. If it means leaving your husband and raising the kids on your own. Do it. If that means moving. Do it. If that means abolishing alcohol from your life. Do it. By all means, do whatever makes you happy.

But a man...Any man...Even a man who stirs the fir in you - will not 'make' you happy. Someone said earlier that it would mask the problems you are having. Girl, it would add to them not mask them!

Guys are fun to think about, but get any of them into your life and guess what? They aren't as fun when it is every day, 24/7, kids and dirty dishes, laundry. No one is fun then. I doubt men think women are fun under those circumstances either.

If your marriage is causing you unhappiness fix that - but don't leave your marriage for something else because that something else can never save you from what you are ultimately going to have to go through. It would be a terrible burden on the 'new guy' to have to save you from your prior failed relationship. Work on you. Then move on, when you know you are capable of sustaining your end of the relationship.

This is spoken from experience. Not judgement. Nor am I pointing fingers. I'm only working off what you wrote. Do what makes you happy. That's all i'm saying.

DaliciaLynn

replied on August 12th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

I have to admit my hubby is the greatest, people have tried to stir up a lot of sh*t in our relationship and we've been strong enough to put it all behind us. I feel so bad because i've been wrong so much, and he's been right the whole time.

Talking about it is the key, you don't even have a relationship if you don't talk about what the problem is. Relationships are based on trust, and breaking that trust .S.U.C.K.S!!

I don't think drinking around kids are bad, I mean if they are your children in your own home I think that's okay. But only if there is a sober person there that you trust watching your kids. I have been drunk once since bray has been born, and I was at home, and hubby was watching brayden. It all depends on what type of drunk you are too. Some are mean and etc. I'm just happy.

Becky

replied on August 12th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

You are obviously very unhappy in your relationship to
a)think about looking elsewhere and
b) to make this post

i think dalicia is right if you still want to work at your marriage you need to talk things through. Let him know what is bothering you. Clear the air. Be totally honest. You ay argue but at least he will know how you feel.

Tell him you feel unloved/unwanted so you've even fantasised about other men as they may give you the attention you crave. This should hopefully make him feel guilty.

Only you know deep down if you marriage is worth saving. None of us are with you to see what it is really like.

Good luck darlin. I hope you can resolve this.

diamondsz

replied on August 12th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Guys thank you......

Ingi really appreciate the insight.

D I have nothing wrong with drinking at home if the kids are in bed/someone is sober if they are awake but that wasnt the case I was at work and I got so upset im sorry but I love my kids to death and what if hubby dropped cam I would hate him beyond everything.

Anyways I got so upset I called someone to intervene, I tryed to talk to him but he put his friend before me and I said f*ck it6 I told hubby to go marry his doing it friend but the fact his friend did drugs in front of my kids sent me into a rage..

I hope you guys can understand where im coming from, I put my kids in front of him..

Anyways I need a few days to figure out what im going to do..

I still have feelings for hubby but they are mixed im so doing it confused I need to figure out what im going to tell him

ingi you are right though another guy would just mask it cause I could have the same problem in another relationship unless I learn how to deal with it now it just arrgh, im really bad at explaining things.

Ck073210

replied on August 13th, 2006

New User

Girl if you are not happy with your hubby, then my best advice would to be to "get out of there".I know you want to stay with him for the sake of your kids, but that is not healthy and you will end up regretting it when the kids are older.Plus, how great is it for the kids to live in an environment where the parents don't get along very well??That seems less healthy.I know that my babys daddy and I split after 4 years when she was 15 mos old bc we knew that we couldn't get along and that was less healthy for our daughter to be around.Now he takes her on the wknds and I take her during the week and she never sees us fighting, she is one of the most happiest kids I know.It is painful for a child to see their mother cry and I know this bc when I cry my daughter cries with me.Kids are smarter than you think, they usually sense when there is trouble around....Btw I know you said you were feminist but that doesnt mean you cant believe in love.I am also considered a feminist, but I love to be in love with a guy who respects my beliefs which I am lucky to have right now.You need a guy who will respect you and your kids.If he treats you badly then he doesnt deserve you or the kids that you gave him.

HcoBrunette06

replied on August 13th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Whats a feminist? Lol im dumb

its better to be from a "broken" home than to be in one, I heard that before and I think it's true. Not saying your home is broken or anything I just mean you say you arent happy so... That's not good. Good luck jess!

JennyJ

replied on August 13th, 2006

Experienced User

I can completely understand how you are feeling. I think it's normal to get an interest in someone else while you're in a relationship. Before I married my husband, there was a guy that I really liked. I thought about him all the time but I never acted upon it. I'm so glad I didn't because now I can't stand the thought of that person anymore! I think you should just be honest with your husband. Let him know how you feel about everything. You could even try marriage counseling. Just don't make a mistake in the heat of the moment or you might regret it later. I'm sure your husband really does love you and it'd suck to hurt him.

Mesmerizeu19

replied on August 13th, 2006

New User

After a couple days of good thinking, let us know what happens. Think of your kids, like you seem to be smartly doing. Remember, this decision won't only affect you but your kids.

If you choose to leave, don't automatically jump into another, new relationship though, because it will most likely end in a rebound disaster, and hurt your kids more.

Good luck.

diamondsz

replied on August 14th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

hcobrunette06 wrote:

whats a feminist? Lol im dumb

good luck jess!

feminist is just another word for (man-hater lol) I just cant stand men who sit their and say woman are a piece of ass, cant do anything but produce kids etc, I already have decked a few and alot of men know to avoid me now. Doesnt help that im already outspoken.....

Learn About Us

Get Help

Join In

Do More

We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health
information:
verify here.

The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made. Schizophrenia health sitemap.
This page was last updated on January 1, 2009.
© 2008 eForums, Inc