Depression Forum - Isolated And Without Will

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Q: Isolated And Without Will

asked by: mscreant on August 11th, 2006

New User

I just don't know what to do anymore (please dont write in to say see a doctor or therapist or meds cause I know these options already).

I just feel like nothing is important to me at all. I know that this is depression mixed with heartbreak an d so it is worse cause I feel that if I just ahd someone in my life that loved me unconditionally that I woudl be better. But that is not really the problem. When I have had that, I havent felt better, just distracted and with a bit of external gratification.

I knwo that I should learn to love myself and value my life just for being but I don't understand why. There is nothing that I feel excited about, or particularly interested in and I just don't knwo what the point is of waking up, feeling relly sad and depressed and often anxious and sometimes really irrational, and struggling through the day and then going to bed to wake up throughout the night crying and anxious and feelign so very alone, just to wake up to a new day of the same feelings.

Am I missing something cause I just dont get why I bother at all.

Replies(10)

johnR

replied on August 11th, 2006

Experienced User

I just read a couple of your posts where you were offering advice to others and never imagined you felt so poorly yourself. I know how you feel and can only share what is helping me and that is what you advised other people in your note I just read, cbt. I was in a great group and maybe that's what you need so you have others to help you do the exercises everyday. The book I mentioned in my other post to you by sam obitz hit a lot of chords with me and was the one we used in my group, it gave me a lot of hope when I read through it. Other than the chapters on suicidal thoughts it is a shorter more personal account of what david burns book has in it. I can tell you from my experience when I stop doing the exercises I slip back so I am doing the tea forms almost everyday and it is helping. As bad as you sound like you are feeling right now you may want to go on some antidepressants in the near term but for me they were a boost and it was not until my cbt group that I started to feel better. Take care.

mscreant

replied on August 14th, 2006

New User

Thanks john. I ll look for the book. I've been thining about mes but they've just been bad for me in the past and a lot of ppl I know struggle to get off them (and some ppl I know are doign so well with them) that I just dont want to have to deal with one more struggle, you know?

Anyway. Thanks for the compassion and kind words. And thanks for the response. I was thinking how funny it would be if I wrote about being isolated and no one answered.
A

johnR

replied on August 15th, 2006

Experienced User

I certainly know what you mean. Meds can be a double edged sword. But sometimes you need a lift to get to a place where you can help yourself. I hated many of the side effects with meds myself, but what they were good for in my case was helping me get myself going. Otherwise I am not sure I would have been able to get myself to do the cbt exercises and they are what have helped me hopefully put meds in my past.
You sound like a very nice person and I am impressed with how well adjusted you seem even when you are clearly hurting so bad inside. I never would have been able to see the humor in the thought of no one responding to a note I wrote about feeling isolated when I was down! You must have a great spirit inside of you :d
take care.

P.S. There's a link to the foreword of the book by sam obitz on the books website Tao3.Com

trying_to_cope

replied on August 28th, 2006

New User

Johnr Is On the Money

Try that book, it will help! We're all in this togther.

johnR

replied on September 6th, 2006

Experienced User

Thanks for he backup ttc :lol: I hope you are doing well mscreant :d

dead little me

replied on September 15th, 2006

New User

I Feel Like That Too

I know exactly what you are feeling. I loved some one unconditionally and thought that I had a purpose but then I lost that person and it turned out that that person never really loved me only as a friend and we had been together ten months. But life is the point f waking up in the moring.
You are the reason you wake up in the morning because you have will inside you and you are strong even if you dont think you are.
I want to give up. I feel as if I have lost the one reason to live but some thing inside me does not feel that ok about giving up so easily.
I no that you are feeling lost and having a caca time but baby hang in there. One day, when you find hope, everything will get better.
Be strong and life is and can be beautiful xxx

johnR

replied on September 21st, 2006

Experienced User

Re: I Feel Like That Too

dead little me wrote:

i know exactly what you are feeling. I loved some one unconditionally and thought that I had a purpose but then I lost that person and it turned out that that person never really loved me only as a friend and we had been together ten months. But life is the point f waking up in the moring.

You are the reason you wake up in the morning because you have will inside you and you are strong even if you dont think you are.
I want to give up. I feel as if I have lost the one reason to live but some thing inside me does not feel that ok about giving up so easily.
I no that you are feeling lost and having a health question time but baby hang in there. One day, when you find hope, everything will get better.
Be strong and life is and can be beautiful xxx

well said, dead little me!

johnR

replied on October 4th, 2006

Experienced User

Mscreant, you still around? How are you doing? It's been awhile and I hope you are feeling better.

trying_to_cope

replied on November 28th, 2006

New User

U Can't Love People Unconditionally!

All that you're doing is putting that person on a pedestal as a type of god and hoping they'll love you for being special. But at the root of this thinking is your own self-resentment, and when you put a mortal and flawed humna being in the position of a god you will always be disappointed.

Your love has to come from within first, before you can truly love others.

nineinchnails277

replied on December 1st, 2006

Experienced User

An problem Says What?

It is posters like trying_to_cope that make me hate fourms. This is a depression fourm. To help ppl get less depressed. Not more ya friend. People can be whoever or what ever they want to. You do not need to tell them all that crap. Ppl can love whom ever they want. Even if there is not propper 'condistion' or what ever.

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