My fiance had to take a job in the south. He is an auto tech working for a high end car dealership. He had it in his head that he would be financially successful from the start since he graduated from an elite auto school, has a degree in mech. Engineering and a programming degree.
And so, he moved downsouth. I stayed behind up north for a couple of months to sell my house. I owned my house and so it was agreed that I would pay for half of the new house down south. My fiance paid for the house at closing before I got here.
I'm here now (2 months).
His mood swings are not new to me. Up north, he was miserable because he lived in "my" house. I always gave him the option to buy into my house so that he would feel whole. He declined.
He was always cranky that we lived up north where it was cold and snowy in the winter. Lots of things bothered him.
He insisted we had to live south near the ocean. That's where we are.
Back tracking here more a moment...........
We originally looked at a house near the coast in sc. Expensive, flood insurance, home owner's insurance was ridiculously high... $3,000.
He actually stated that if he'd known it was that expensive, he would not have picked that area. We moved 15 miles inland in a brand new development and it's much, much less expensive (insurance) and no flooding.
Now, he is finally doing what he went to school for. And that's not working out for him either. Too many mechanics, not enough hours, too much traffic, too much of everything.
There are days when he comes home and he is loving, caring and will do anything for me. I'm in the house for 5 weeks and we have lots to do.
Some nights, whoa.............Watch out!
Last night was the perfect example of what goes on.
Bad day at work, traffic coming and going, hears the news that the dealership is hiring two more people and some of the workers there are not making enough the way it is. My fiance is worried when he changes his pay schedule, he won't make enough to survice.
He is stuck there because he signed a one year contract. God help me!!
He says "we are out of here next year!! It's like he's spoken and we better start packing......
The day before yesterday, he was in a fabulous mood. Let's become partners with the house, let's do this, that, blah blah blah.
After yesterdays' outburst of disgust with work, he's going to own the house!!!!! So that it can be his house...... I can't have the window covering that i've been asking for. He was ready to buy them for me the day before.
I got so ill in my stomach from the hot and cold mood swings. We haven't spoken a word since yesterday.
I told him this was his choice (to take this job). Deal with it. Stop taking me down and taking his frustrations out on me.
His answer to everything is we just can't get along ???????????
I, for the most part, sit there quietly. I've learned to do this.
When he has an outurst, and decides not to talk to me. This usually last for one day. When he returns from work that next day, he'll look at me like...............Let's be ok again. My biggest mistake is that I forget about everything and am happy that he's ok again.
Is this depression going on with him? Bi polar? Abuse?
How can I help him?
He doesn't hit me!!!
I don't want to leave because my house has sold, I quit my job up north, and it would cost me $4,000 to move back up again.
I came this far and I want to understand him if he is not well.
Pleasehelp.
