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Sliga

August 8th, 2006

Hi everybody I am new here and I thought maybe you guys could help me on this, even thought I think there's noithing to do but to cope with it so actually I just needed to share and feel that maybe somebody feels the same way and im not alone.
Im 19 yrrs old (20 on february) and I feel like my baby clock is ticking so much, im in a serious relationship of 1yr and a half with the most perfect guy. This all started when I forgot to take a pill one day and from that month we both thought I could be well turned out I wasn't but from just thinking I could be all these feelings developed anxiety...I know im 19 but all my life i've been very grownup..Even more than brother 27 (how many mistakes made) I worked in a daycare for a period of a yr and couple of months, taking care of infants and one yr olds i've gone through over 60 diapers changed a day! Lol just wanted to share that one! And dealing with them and teaching them all day I think that helped me mature so much too...Anyways I really want to stop feeling this way wanting a baby because I know as much as I wanted and my partner says it would be ok if it just happened it'a not the time. You guys should see my face when I see a pregnant woman or a baby...I melt and somehow I also feel jealous..Me and my partner are very close and I confessed to him how bad I wanted a baby, he said he was happy I did and didn't want me to stop wanting one...But I know so hard he wants everything on it's right time, like I knew before and didn't tell him earlier because I knew he wasn't ready for one now. I mean that day I cried I just let it out, he hates to see me like that and even said "babe let's make a baby" oh man! I cried even worse because I knew he was trying to do it for me to make me happy and as much as I wanted it it wasn't right! So I said no...Trying to be respnsible ...Now I say I should have but then big fat no hits again... I just wanted to share and let it out..I don't wanna bug him everyday with my I still want a baby...I wish I didn't so bad. It hits me every month..Knowing that there's no way I could be but then I still hope I am. We try to be careful as im not on the pill bc of complications but only with condoms, we have our "oops times"...How do I stop these feelings? Sorry for such a long post I do feel better letting this out...I didn't have anybody else.

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taya*

replied August 8th, 2006

Experienced User

Okay, first thing...Good on you for knowing that this isn't the right time for you to have a baby! It's completely natural for you to be craving pregnancy and motherhood at your age...Hormones are still going haywire, and your body is probably trying to remind you to get on with it before your clock runs out. However, since you're nineteen, your clock is still ticking! Don't worry! You just need to come to terms with wanting a baby, and have a long talk with your boyfriend about all the things you're thinking about. I know you said you didn't want to bother him, but it's important that your relationship is completely open. Do you feel like this is a relationship you can eventually bring a baby into? If so, make sure you're both being honest with each other, and the things you want from the relationship are out on the table so that you both can identify when you'll be rady to make these big changes in your life. You need to have a discussion about all the reasons you aren't ready for a baby, and decide when you .W.I.L.L be ready. I'm so glad that you were responsible enough to know that you aren't ready for motherhood, and you will be happy that you waited until you're ready.
I don't think there's anyway to dissapate the longing for a baby, but you could always try volunteering at daycare centres or babysitting, or even getting a puppy! It's good to start small, and that way you're getting used to caring for someone who depends on you every day.
That feeling you get every month is the effect of the hormones you get with your period. It's completely normal! But, until you're ready to be a mom, and you make sure that your boyfriend is ready to be a father, and support you through pregnancy and help you raise your baby, continue to keep things in perspective, and continue being responsible.
I'm not your age (i'm fifteen in december), but I hope i've been of some help.

- mattea

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diamondsz

replied August 8th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

I think we all understand but take this into consideration if you think you are mentally and finicially ready then do it, you can still go to school,work and hang out with friends I do it all with 2 kids(im 22.)

things are just easier when you have a partner, all I can say is have a really good convo between the two of yous and pick a time that would seem good remeber it takes nine months before they come around(well actually 10months but we wont go there.

All I can say is follow your heart if the conditions are right, I know how it feels to crave it I still do everytime I see a preggo woman I miss my belly and having the kids in there...

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Sliga

replied August 9th, 2006

Thanks you girls for your answers! I feel better after reading them! To "taya" thank you for your reply! When I first read I thought a 30+ person wrote it lol! Don't take it wrong it's actually a good comment! You seem so mature for your age! Its good! =) I appreciated your comment a lot! Yes I do have that trust with my boyfriend to talk with him about anything that's going on but with this I feel like maybe I don't want to bug him too much we already talked once and he said that it would happen soon just not yet...And I don't want to go with him everytime I feel sad or anxious about it ...Then he'll think im crazy lol I know hw won't but I feel bad going to him for the same thing many times. I came to think so much about it today! And the biggest reason why I thik it's right it's because I feel that I have the most wonderful guy I could ever had, he's amazing ad so different and also my mom is so supportive and would approve of this...Gosh they make it so easy for me! But im good im responsible! I do too thnk about how we are both not finished with college...He's almost done and im not even starting till august next yr (only 12 months though yay) we both work and make it though pretty good with money...And with a baby we would be fine but tight...I know that's what he's trying to avoid he's been through a lot with his nephews being born when he was young and taking care of them...That's how I understand him and know that he wants everything in perfect time!...Gosh I miss working at a daycare! That always cheered me up seeing my little ones I used to take care of......I just need to learn how to cope with the strong feelings that I get sometimes and understand it's not time yet...Maybe a few more yrs...But how I wish it would be the right time now =(

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	Tags: complications, Pregnancy, pregnant, Anxiety, period, woman, pregnancy on the pill, anxiety pregnancy, bad relationship, before pregnancy

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