Depression Forum - I Feel Terrible

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Q: I Feel Terrible

asked by: jimmyeth on August 7th, 2006

New User

Hi, i'm male and just turned 18 a few days ago, and I have a whole lotta problems which have made me unberably depressed, I feel it might help to get some peoples advice. First off - women, I am still a virgin and havent had a girlfriend and turning 18 has risen this pressure to great heights. I met a girl who lives far away at a festival, we made out and got on really well but she went and got with other guys too which made me feel sad. She actually came down on my 18th party and I promised myself id just treat her like a friend, but when I heard she was making out with one of my friends, I became a wreck. The distance is too far and I dont even know if she could be trusted, but I think I love her and know she doesnt feel the same. I am pressured I will not find a girl I got on with so well and shared one special little moment with. Secondly, ive been having trouble in my genitle area but that has been posted in the sexual health part. I get paranoid and worried easily and im sick of that too, I want to cure my paranoia, I hate it. I also get really sad when I look forward to something so much (eg my 18th party) then after its all over I just feel really misreable and really start to miss it. I feel like I wouldnt care if I just dropped dead right now, I just feel really worried. I dont really feel like doing any activities like watching a film or playing a game or stuff like id usually do, all I feel like doing is talking to people and talking late night walks... Anyone got any advice?

Replies(13)

Fairy Godmother

replied on August 7th, 2006

Supporter

Stop Beating Yourself Up!

First, I think its most honorable you are 18 years old and still a vrigin. You should not feel badly about this. As for this girl, who you fell so hard for, its obvious shes a player......You deserve better. You deserve someone who will appreciate you and your feelings. You are young. You are also depressed. Do you have a family physican you can talk to? Try to learn this early, as it took me almost 40 years...... Only you can make yourself happy. You can't rely on anyone else. You have the choice everyday to live a happy life, or a sad life. There are lots of fish out there, just don't grab the first tadpole! As for your sex life....You got a lifetime for that to happen. Get out there and make new friends and enjoy life. Don't allow yourself to crawl into a shell and waste valuable time you will never get back. Believe in yourself! Keep us posted! :d

jimmyeth

replied on August 7th, 2006

New User

Thank you for the kind words, yeh I really fell for this girl, probably because im not used to it. I cant bring myself to be mad at her even though she has upset me, and cant bring myself to lose contact. I think I may have other problems aswell, and being a paranoid individual doesnt help, it just makes me worry stupidly. I need to somehow sort everything out, I dont know how though. I am a very nostalgic person also, I miss fun things I did in the past, hence why I miss things special like my 18th party even tho there was a little problem, thought id share that aswell. And also no, I dont have a family physican unfortunately...

jimmyeth

replied on August 8th, 2006

New User

I also seem to get paranoid and worry a lot about things... Anyone got any advice for this?

jimmyeth

replied on August 10th, 2006

New User

Anyone got any advice, please?

mscreant

replied on August 11th, 2006

New User

Now's the Time

To check that out. It is really good to be aware of how you are feeling and recognize that you want to change that.

I dont know your situation well...If you could find a good therapist or a good doctor that is someone who could help and recommend things. It depedns on the level fo paranoia, I guess, too.

Cognative behvioral therapy (cbt could work)

i know of a few books that seem to help different people with anxiety - yo udidnt use this word so I dont know if it fits, but the following books seem to help:

anxiety and phobia woorkbook by bourne

mind over mood (by padesky) which I think pioneered something called cognative-behvioral therapy - which is supposed to help you change thinking patterns.

sometimes changing diet, sleeping patterns, habits, etc. Help - like if you smoke a lot of pot, that can lead to a lot of anxiety or paranoia (some people find hash to be better than pot). Some people find taking medications helpful, too, although I would recommend with this to do a lot of research on what you migh tbe prescribed and what it is supposed to do. Meds can be good but can be pretty crappy too.

Too much info?

Hope it helps

johnR

replied on August 11th, 2006

Experienced User

jimmyeth wrote:

i also seem to get paranoid and worry a lot about things... Anyone got any advice for this?

cbt has helped me a great deal and reduced my worrying a lot so I would recommend that too. The cbt book we used in my group is short and straight forward it's called been there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz. There's a link where you can read the forward to the book on the website Tao3.Com
definitely give cbt a try!

jimmyeth

replied on August 24th, 2006

New User

Thanks for the replies people I really appreciate it. Thanks for the book reccomendations aswell i'll have to check them out, not to sound like a cheap ass but, is there anything on the internet which gives similar advice as these books do? If so I would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

mscreant

replied on August 24th, 2006

New User

You Could Try the Library

Although you couldnt work directly in the book, you could at least get a sense for it works and maybe even read the sections but photocopy the worksheets to use later.

Also, depending on where you are located, if there are mental health centres (in canada there is something called the canadian mental health association) or even places like women's centre (many are open to any gender) that might have copies to loan out, too.

Good luck to you.

trying_to_cope

replied on August 28th, 2006

New User

Actually It Is Cheap

That obitz book is like $12 or whatever. And in my opinion the information it can give you is worth $100. I'd say give that book a shot, and also try volunteering-- or something to make yourself feel valuable like you're contributing something of yourself to make things better for others. Depression comes upon us when we feel the need to act but fail to take action.

So try that and the obitz book and things will get brighter for you!

johnR

replied on September 6th, 2006

Experienced User

Jimmy, try miscreants suggestion and if your library does not have it ask them to borrow it from another library which usually only takes a couple of weeks to do on inter library loan.

johnR

replied on September 21st, 2006

Experienced User

How's life treating you jimmy? I hope you are feeling better.

trying_to_cope

replied on November 28th, 2006

New User

Anybody Heard How Jimmy Is Faring Lately?

Hopefully he's doing better.

cece7

replied on February 19th, 2007

Experienced User

jimmy the cognitive training advice is really good they have been giving you and you don't sound like a cheap ass either Razz

If it is free its's for me Laughing

The obitz book and the tea form exercise is great and you can probably check it out at your local library for free Idea

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