I cant stand this! I cant take it!! Ok.. I am as u know..18, 13 weeks preg.. And a few days..Anyhow, I am recovering from an eating disorder(trying). .I am doing very well. . Eating definitly enough.. .But I cant stand to see myself! Everytime I look in the mirror I am bigger. .And its not just what I see. . In lbs too . . . And its just cuz, I dont got the cute pregnant look yet.. It just looks like my belly got fat. . I know, and I try to tell myself, its ok, its a baby in there! And it seems like that would register and I would be fine.. But I hate it. . I havent taken off my coat in hours. .Just because I feel so damn disgusting. Ive gained weight way too fast. Part because of recovering, and part for being pregnant. I feel like I am slipping back into depression which is the worst thing for me right now.. Whenever I got deep in to depression, that always reflected on my eating. I should be happier. . I have such a caring boyfriend.. A family whos tolerating me.. Supportive friends I guess. ..But I mean, even w. My boyfriend.. I cant even let him see me. . Im too self concsious..Ive always been, but now its 10x worse. He tried to lift my shirt up the other day and I freaked out. That shouldnt be a big deal. .When we have sex.. I wont dare let him see under the blankets. I know this sounds immature.. .But I feel liek im falling into this black hole all over again...