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Q: I'm Broke From Feeding My Addiction to Food...
asked by: tenthecaterpillar on January 19th, 2004
New User
I am a college student who is constantly struggling with money. I could have a lot more, but I am also struggling with bulimia and have been for about five years. My senior year in high school I told my parents and they had me go to counseling and I started taking zoloft. I wanted to get it taken care of before I was living on my own and it could potentially get a lot worse. My first year in college i, for the most part, had my eating habits under control, but I also weighed 165 lbs. At 5'6 that was the heaviest I had ever been. I moved back home and lost 30 lbs. From exercising and eating healthy. Then I moved to a different state to start attending a different college and immediatly after the move my old habits returned. I don't know if it was because of the big change or what. I didn't know anyone and so I was alone a lot of the time and so would go on crazy binges, going from one fast food place to another, wasting all my money. It got to the point where I would scrounge up nickels and dimes just so I could go get a sundea, only to throw it up later. Usually I would do this in the evening on the way to the gym, drop by some fast food place, stuff myself full of hamburgers, fries or usually icecream and then throw it up in the locker room bathroom before going to go run on the treadmill. I need help but I don't know what else to do. My parents try to help as best they can, i've gone to counseling, I am taking anti-depressents, but still the war between my body and mind goes on. I hate the feeling of being sneaky, staying up late at night riffeling through the cupboards to see what I can eat that my roomates won't notice is gone the next morning. After a binge I feel emberassed and digusted with myself, but for some reason no matter if I swear its the last time, the next day it goes on... If anyone has any advice for me, please help....
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KariM18
replied on January 19th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Hun... I cant even explain to u how identical your situation sounds to how mine used to be! I know it feels like theres no end and no way out.. But hey, ive been in recovery now for a month and a half and I have only purged 3 times in that amount of time (used to be 3-4 times a day everyday) so it is possible to recover, and it can get better so the last thing to do is lose hope. Anyhow.. Its hard to give advice on this cuz its such a hard topic.. But basically.. Lets see what I did. . First off, the first thing to do is stop purging.. I know this seems extremely hard.. And god knows it is.. But thats how I began my recovery.. Even when I would binge, I wouldnt allow myself to purge it, no matter what, and it does help. It helps u get control back and not let the disorder take over. Secondly.. U cannot restrict your food intake.. Try to allow yourself to eat as normally as possible.. Between 1,600 and 2,000 cals a day.. Once again I know its hard.. But the more normally u allow yourself to eat, the less your body will crave binges..Im not saying u wont overeat at first. .Cuz u prolly will.. But like I said, the more normally u eat, the less u will need to binge. If u cannot handle certain foods without binges, dont start out with those foods quite yet.. After a few days with out purging, u will feel alot better and get a handle on things. I tried to recover many times from bulimia, but I would go about it the wrong way, I would still try to restrict my intake, which would lead me to more binges. I know this advice seems like maybe it wont do good. .But I promise u if u allow yourself to eat normally, ur binge urge will decrease.. And if u do binge, and dont purge it, u wont get trapped in the cycle as hard.. It will take a lot of work , and courage, but it is possible. I had a motivator to get over my e/d.. That is because I am pregnant now (im only 18 tho) but u just have to keep your motivation to live a life without this disease taking over.. U will be so much happier.. I can tell u this from experience now. You mite gain a little weight at first, but thats just your body coping with eating normally at first.. Some people may lose some weight, some gained, I gained at first. .But it does and did even out. I swear I was your e/d twin! And the thing about the room mates. . Iwent through the same thing.. Get up everyday and remind youself of everything that u hate about the disorder.. And remind yourself of your strength.. Dont deny yourself and dont restrict. .And remember, purging will only keep u in the cycle. After a little while ur body wont need to binge anymore. Sorry this is so long. I wish u the best of luck and I know u can do this. If I can u can.
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