I go in and out of being a social.
I hate to say it but i'll drink to loosen up as well. I'll do it for the first little while until i'm comfortable without.
It really takes practice.
One thing that opened was eyes was a conversation with an older friend of mine. He's super comfortable around chicks. I asked him what the deal was. He said, "you think I was born like this?". He says it's a learned behavior.
Even since then I go for it, no matter how much it hurts! I'll get it eventually. I just keep my eye on the goal.
I go to bars mostly...Clubs not so often