((hugs)) you don't sound ungrateful. Just thank her for the clothes and put them away. Just because she bought them doesn't mean he has to wear them.

Yeah, she probably won't even remember which ones she bought you. Just take them and buy things you like better.

Your mood sounds like mine at the moment...No you don't sound ungrateful. Sounds like mom has her heart set on a granddaughter. :) hee hee. I imagine mine will do the same. Yea, you could set them aside and save them. (maybe someday for a baby girl)

I'm having similar issues with my family. My mother-in-law keeps "surprising" me with all kinds of hand-me-downs that she's getting from friends. The problem is, the clothes are ratty-looking or super-cartoony. Not my style at all... I prefer clothes that are soft pastels or very feminine, not covered in cartoon characters and puppy-dogs. And she brought me a baby swing that, I swear, must be at least 5 years old. The stickers are half-peeled off of it and it just looks like a piece of junk.

I'm not sure what to say to her without coming off as ungrateful, so I just say thank you and pack the stuff away. I'll probably be making a trip to goodwill soon to donate the clothes (once .Alyvia's too big to wear them, of course, to save feelings). My stepmother, thankfully, understands my tastes and buys either brand-new clothing (with the tags still on, in case I want to take them back) or brings me with her to stores that sell gently-used baby clothing. Instead of the stuff being extremely worn-out, the outfits have only been worn once or twice and look brand new. We've purchased beautiful outfits for $4-5 that look like they should cost $40, and they still look like they just came off a department store rack! She also took pity on me when I showed her the baby swing, and purchased a brand new one for me.

I get very defensive about my daughter's clothes. If someone bought something for her that I thought was too butch, I would be upset as well, so I totally understand where you're coming from. You're not selfish or ungrateful... You're a mother! You want the best for your baby! :)

That must be so frustrating for you! I know I would be irritated by that.

Jordan wore the same clothes as .Brian did. So I actually saved money in the long run.

the swing my dad bought at a yardsale (for $2) for them to keep at their house is at least 20 years old. I don't want my baby riding in that! I wish I had a camera so I could show it to you guys. It looks so scary and unstable but I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings because he was obviously excited about it. I'll just have to make sure my baby never goes in it. It really does scare me though.

The other thing about my mom that is killing me is that she's saying no baby ever wears the size they should be in according to age. I said i'm sure *some* babies wear the size they should be in and we don't know what size mine will be. So everytime I show her anything i've bought she says it's the wrong size, like summer rompers in 6-9 months when he'll be 6 months in may. They were adorable and $5 each so I bought 2, she says "he'll be awfully cold wearing those in january". So now my 3 month old is going to be in 9 month clothing? I didn't realize I was having the incredible hulk's child. But then she goes out and buys sweaters in 9-12 months... Well, going by her theory wouldn't he be wearing those sweaters in the summer? It's driving me insane. I'd rather he be wearing ill-fitting clothing than girl's clothing!

It *could* happen that he won't wear the correct month sized clothing - but you won't know until he is here! ;)

my mother inlaw gave me the worst high chair .E.V.E.R! It had no safety belt. It hardly had any pads on the 'chair' and it the tray was .C.R.A.C.K.E.D. And not just a little cracked either, it was a huge crack down the middle of the tray - plus the legs were rusty and the foot rest was broken. I saw that thing and immediately burst into tears - there was no way my baby was going to sit in that thing. We went out and bought a high chair that day and gave her back her nasty one.

I wish now that i'd have taken pictures of it... I totally understand your swing dilema!

We get that too- i'm not pregnant, but I find a couple of people pick up second hand clothing from charity stores for our kids sometimes, and alot of people have been passing on their old things to us lately too- we have two girls, and so many clothes it's absurd.
My second daughter has more than enough with her big sister's hand-me-downs as it is.
We just tend to pass them straight back to goodwill or whatever, do a big clear out of clothes and toys every so often.
I always try not to seem ungrateful when we get stuff like that, but I can't help being a little annoyed- I always feel that those clothes and things should be available in the charity stores for poeple who need them- who can't afford to keep their kids in new clothes.
I don't like to think that there may be babies or children going without just because people we know love a bargain.
'specially in the wintertime.

Maybe if you explain it that way? Say your really grateful to be thought of, but it's making you feel guilty when there are people in real need of affordable childrens clothing?

lol... this is from last august...

there's nothing wrong with second hand clothes. i was pregnant and venting when i wrote the original post. anyway, my mom buys him a lot of stuff from this consignment shop and i love most of it. when i wrote this she was buying stuff from goodwill, and our goodwill is pretty nasty, all the baby clothes are stained and ratty looking.

I noticed that after I replied, so I erased it.

I was all confused about how you were talking about how old Finn would be.

Except you kept referring to him as a baby, not a baby with a name. So for a second I thought I missed something big, like you being pregnant for a second time. I was extremely confused for a moment.

lol, tanya! no new baby yet!



i would just like to say that he *just* grew out of these and wore them many times. take that, mom!

I just kept reading and reading trying to figure out what the heck was going on! lol

i was totally confused too, lol. i was like, she's having another baby this winter? did i miss something? and i'm wondering why she's talking about next may.

i've gotten so many hand me downs i don't know what to do with them. and a lot of them are ratty. but some are nice and i'm keeping those. the rest will go to goodwill. i was cleaning out my office today cuz we're turning it into the nursery (really late i know) and i was going to take a whole bunch of books to the goodwill. not bad books, just novels that i've read already. but my brother in law showed up and said he would take them for his wife. as he was leaving he said, "oh she probably won't like them but i'll burn all the ones she doesn't want".

i kno what you mean my mom is doing the EXACT same thing and its very annoying.. i dont think shes bought anything brand new other then for the baby shower

I was soooo confused b! I was thought I missed an announcement but then I kept reading and thought things weren't quite adding up. I don't mind second hand as long as it looks good. Although i kept a few ratty things so he wouldn't ruin his good stuff. I bought him a pair of jeans from baby gap when he first started crawling and they look like crap now. so if we're not going anywhere or doing anything i put crappy clothes on him. let him ruin that junk.

whaaat? ok,thats really odd.Did you ask her wy shes buying them?Maybe it's a hint hint to have another?

I wondered why Finn and Alyvia were riding in infant swings.

My mom buys stuff from yard sales or consignment shops, but knows if it isn't in near perfect condition I won't let Jaylon wear it.

I am very picky about things that look girly and purple of any shape or form is off limits.

your mom might just be getting clothes from goodwill because the babies grow out of them so quickly.

Most of my baby clothes will come from goodwill probably. They should be okay as long as they are cleaned really well. I'll get some clothes new, for special occasions, but I don't have the money to be buying clothes that they can wear for a few weeks and then have to get rid of them, because they are too small.

I don't think you are wrong in feeling the way you do. I would rather have new clothes for my baby, but I can't afford to buy new just to get rid of them in a few weeks. That's probably what your mom is thinking too.

lol, mel! this thread is from last summer when i was pregnant with finn and a spammer bumped it back up the other night. it's pretty funny how much confusion it's causing!