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Q: Baby Mama Drama
asked by: drama29 on August 1st, 2006
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
I have been with my fiancee' for 19 months. He has 2 children by another lady that lives in our city. We just had a son in march. My problem is that she calls for things that do not pertain to the children. She calls hi to pay her bills. Instead of him telling her no, he tells her he will try. Then he gives her the money. I try to talk to him and let him know that these things bother me. He tells me that they are friends. I stress to him that he can not take care of two households. Her children come to my house and destroy it. She does not want me to say anything to them. He does not support me at all when it comes to disciplining his children. What should I do?
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Spirit replied on August 2nd, 2006
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Is he paying child support?If so this should be enough and if it is not, it is up to "them" to increase it. Like it or not your fiancee has a past and your going to have to learn how to deal with it.............."all" the children need their father. If my beau blew his kids off to spend time with me, I would lose all respect for him. Sorry it's a fact of life.....Daddy makes kids....Daddy has got to take care of kids....He .D.O.E.S. Have two households.
Being friends is much better than being enemies.....Although I do agree you should get him to stand up for you in your own home......He should be the one giving out the rules but if you do occasionally(try not to be overbearing, as they are children and children can be messy and disruptive) he should be on your side completely.......Children can sense a weakness in a relationship and will play each of you against each other......Why?Because they are children. Lighten up, you can have fun with them too, even if they are not your biological children. :)
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drama29 replied on August 2nd, 2006
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Reply to Spirit. Its Not the Kids He Is Taking Care of Its
spirit wrote:
is he paying child support?If so this should be enough and if it is not, it is up to "them" to increase it. Like it or not your fiancee has a past and your going to have to learn how to deal with it.............."all" the children need their father. If my beau blew his kids off to spend time with me, I would lose all respect for him. Sorry it's a fact of life.....Daddy makes kids....Daddy has got to take care of kids....He .D.O.E.S. Have two households.
Being friends is much better than being enemies.....Although I do agree you should get him to stand up for you in your own home......He should be the one giving out the rules but if you do occasionally(try not to be overbearing, as they are children and children can be messy and disruptive) he should be on your side completely.......Children can sense a weakness in a relationship and will play each of you against each other......Why?Because they are children. Lighten up, you can have fun with them too, even if they are not your biological children. :)
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