Curious What You Think...

I've been with my husband for 14 years now. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse. First let me say that he has never even thought to raise his hand to me, he's just not built that way. However, he's so... Dark and angry so much of the time that I always feel like i'm walking on eggshells, afraid to say the wrong thing, afraid i'll put him in a bad mood. It was always somewhat like this before 2001. Then in 2001 he got hurt and he's ended up having 3 surgeries on his neck and shoulder, which apparently hasn't done alot to help anything. While i'm absolutely certain he was really hurt and needed the surgeries, i've always thought he was a bit wimpy (as men so often are, but he's worse than any man i've ever seen) or that he might be milking it for sympathy (which yes, he does do, and i'm not the only one to say so). But since all the surgeries, bad has gotten worse. Before I go home from work i'm already wondering what kind of mood he's going to be in, what am I going to say or do tonight to put him in a bad or worse mood. But even pulling me out of the picture, we have an 8 year old son. My husband was never allowed to be a kid when he was growing up and now it's the same with our child, it causes constant arguments (not so that the child can hear, never in front of the child). But unless this child is doing exactly what my husband wants, the way he wants it done, listening and following instructions, clean room, towels hung up, clothes picked up, no shoes or socks in the floor etc etc etc, my husband just freaks out, yells, whatever... But never hits the child, i'd put him 6' under for that. I keep trying to make him understand that 8 year olds make messes, they have to be gone behind to make sure the clothes get put in the hamper, they spill things etc. No he's not obsessive compulsive about things being clean, it's not like that. It's just that the child doesn't do what he thinks he should when he thinks he should and without having to be told. Add into all that the fact that he has no friends because he's such a grouch and doesn't even want friends, my friends rarely ever come to my house to see me, I always go to them, and we definitely don't have friends together, never go out as a couple, hell i'm not sure he even has a clue what "couple" means. He doesn't go to family get togethers and when he does, he sits there brooding. My family is very close and lots of laughter and smiles and cookouts and all sorts of things, and quite frankly they're sick of him. I'm constantly lying, saying he's working or he's here or there doing this or that when he doesn't go to family things, or get togethers with friends... I'm always odd man out, never with a companion. I'm the one that takes our child to putt putt, to swim, to the lake, to roller skate, set up play dates etc. He never takes this child anywhere or does anything with him. Well the other night my poor child breaks down crying, saying he wants his old daddy back, the one that went places with us and didn't yell at him all the time, who sometimes smiled. He also said he (my child) feels like he's tearing the family apart because daddy's always yelling then mommy gets mad and on and on. I held him and just cried with him of course, telling him none of it was his fault. My husband says, oh he's just overheard one of our conversations and is repeating it.... That was it, no concern for the child whatsoever. As I said, things have gone from bad to worse and getting worse still. Question is... Do I stay for the child's sake or do I get out for the child's sake? Me... I couldn't care less about myself, i'll go and do my own thing with or without him. My child is my concern, period. Input??