Omg. I have had the same thing happen to me for a number of months. I then discovered and was diagnosed as having obsessive compulsive disorder. I kept having uncontrollable thaughts saying "i hate god" and to stop them I would think a million other thaughts to stop it. I would get looped in a circle and obsessed for hours a day. I thaught I was going crazy. I had numerous other intrusive unwanted thaughts that never left and I was forced to live with for over 2 years. I was diagnosed as having ocd and after reading the symptoms strongly agreed, I was treated for this and the treatment seemed to work, bbut being ssri's threw me into hypomania and well, now im on several meds to handle the mania and depression. Here are links and I hope you feel better, I suffered for years with it, and am now wondering as to whether or not it was psychosis, or ocd. Just remember the fact you are so worried about those thaughts and thinking that means you love god, and it is probably a chemical disease. Just try to remember this, and talk to someone immediately, you are not crazy and are clearly in reality. You appear to be having the intrusive thaught or fear of blasphemous thaughts and your compulsion to suppress the anxiety is to repeat wwords or phrases to contradict those thaughts and lessen your anxiety. A common ocd obsession/compulsion<3
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"obsessions are defined by:
1. Recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress.
2. The thoughts, impulses, or images are not simply excessive worries about real-life problems.
3. The person attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action.
4. The person recognizes that the obsessional thoughts, impulses, or images are a product of his or her own mind.
Compulsions are defined by:
1. Repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.
2. The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive."
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