when I was a little girl, I remember the exact same thing happening to me several times. my mind would repeat over and over, "you hate god, you love the devil". I was only in grade school, so the relationship I had with god was the one imposed upon me (although not in a bad way)by the adults around me. these events completely terrified me! I thought that if I didn't love god, I would surely go to hell.
as an adult, I did a lot of research and religious soul searching, and am now athiest. I have respect for everyone's beliefs, but I do not believe that a single deity will determine our fate. I am no longer scared, and that is a big relief for me. the fact is, most people have religion because they are exposed to what is around them as children. some accept it into their adult lives, and some don't. any and all ways of looking at it are fine.
I say this because although you love your god, you may also be questioning your feelings on faith, and it is simply conflicting with what you have otherwise always believed. this can cause anxiety and panic. but you will be okay.
look into your questions, be calm, and have faith in yourself first and foremost. I am sure you will overcome your fears and will be just fine. good luck to you.