Hello wildberry.My name is rhonda and I am a recovering alcoholic I have been sober from alcohol for 11 yrs now. I will say from the start that falling off the wagon as so many chose to put it is all a part of getting sober.It may take him several yrs to get sober. It took me many. My addictions did not stop at alc. I had so many, men drugs etc.I can reccomend a book titled im dancing as fast as I can and a purpose driven life.You are not wrong for feeling or even being selfish my family had to do it for a lot of yrs.They saw me thru drug trts., and hospitals from suicide attempts to leaving for many months without notification.Thank god my family loves me and believes in me. I still have days where I feel I do not belong and wish I were somewhere else... We must choose to trust our instincts in these matters. When I say trust ourselves I am saying go with your gut feeling it is almost always right,he may have months when he is sober and then he may have months being a total drunken fool who wishes the day after that he could take it all back if he is lucky and remembers the day before.I was a black out drinker I would drink for days and not remember them.. I would drink a few minutes and the next thing I knew it would be days later. I could be driving my car and drinking and find myself in places I could not rem. How I got there.Thank god I did not hurt anyone.When I say hurt I mean physisically hurt , emotionally my kids paid the price of my horrible other self.I hope and pray that you do not spend years trying to sober him up he must do this on his own.If you love him you must have no doubts about this love.You will have to be strong for both yourself and him it will take strength you yourself didnt know you had.You must look within your heart to do this.And be most of all honest when you ask yourself questions.All the best to you and him........

Thank you rhonda. I really appreciate the insight you were able to provide. I will definately check out the book you recommended. Congratulations on you sobriety.

I dated a woman who was a recovering alcholic for several months she went to aa meetings 4 or 5 times a week and was very regimented in her life. She had several outburst of anger toward me and I ended our relationship. I felt bad but I didn't want to have to deal with it anymore I feel a little guilty but I didn't want to continue in an abusive relationship. She had been in several abusive relationships but I didn't know what to do. She will not talk to me at all now which is ok I see her every friday night so it is a little uncomfortable but probably best. she told me that she loved me and that I treated her better than anyone she had ever met. It's hard.