Addiction, Recovery Forum - Relationship With Recovering Alcoholic
Medical questions     Health forums     log in    

Relationship With Recovering Alcoholic

New Topic  Reply  Ask A Doctor - Offline
Medical Questions-> Health Forums -> Addiction, Recovery -> Relationship With Recovering Alcoholic
Author Message
wildberry

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2006
Posts: 2
Relationship With Recovering Alcoholic
Posted: 07-28-06 19:06pm

I am currently in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic. We started dating a year ago, and after about 6 months I felt pretty certain that he had alcohol abuse issues. I dealt with it for another 4 months, and then I couldn't take it any more. I went to al-anon, and coordinated an intervention. It actually worked. He has been working on his sobriety for about 2 months now.

At first I was ecstatic that he was actually attending aa. But, I have realized I have some major trust issues from when he wasn't sober. I was hurt, and never really had the chance to work on that. In addition, he has fallen off the wagon twice. It has made the trust non-existant.

I am worn out completely. I feel like I don't have the strength to be supportive of his sobriety anymore. For the first time in my life I feel completely justified in being selfish.

I am hoping that someone can offer some advice or a book that would help me work through my trust issues, and the past pain I never took the time to deal with.
|
rhondawms

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 30
Location: usa
Hello
Posted: 07-28-06 20:43pm

Hello wildberry.My name is rhonda and I am a recovering alcoholic I have been sober from alcohol for 11 yrs now. I will say from the start that falling off the wagon as so many chose to put it is all a part of getting sober.It may take him several yrs to get sober. It took me many. My addictions did not stop at alc. I had so many, men drugs etc.I can reccomend a book titled im dancing as fast as I can and a purpose driven life.You are not wrong for feeling or even being selfish my family had to do it for a lot of yrs.They saw me thru drug trts., and hospitals from suicide attempts to leaving for many months without notification.Thank god my family loves me and believes in me. I still have days where I feel I do not belong and wish I were somewhere else... We must choose to trust our instincts in these matters. When I say trust ourselves I am saying go with your gut feeling it is almost always right,he may have months when he is sober and then he may have months being a total drunken fool who wishes the day after that he could take it all back if he is lucky and remembers the day before.I was a black out drinker I would drink for days and not remember them.. I would drink a few minutes and the next thing I knew it would be days later. I could be driving my car and drinking and find myself in places I could not rem. How I got there.Thank god I did not hurt anyone.When I say hurt I mean physisically hurt , emotionally my kids paid the price of my horrible other self.I hope and pray that you do not spend years trying to sober him up he must do this on his own.If you love him you must have no doubts about this love.You will have to be strong for both yourself and him it will take strength you yourself didnt know you had.You must look within your heart to do this.And be most of all honest when you ask yourself questions.All the best to you and him........
|
wildberry

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2006
Posts: 2

Posted: 07-29-06 15:01pm

Thank you rhonda. I really appreciate the insight you were able to provide. I will definately check out the book you recommended. Congratulations on you sobriety.
|
Related Topics
This Forum This Category All Forums
Jump to:  
New Topic   Reply



We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health
information:
verify here.