Relationship With Recovering Alcoholic Posted: 07-28-06 19:06pm
I am currently in a relationship with a
recovering alcoholic. We started dating
a year ago, and after about 6 months I
felt pretty certain that he had alcohol
abuse issues. I dealt with it for
another 4 months, and then I couldn't take
it any more. I went to al-anon, and
coordinated an intervention. It actually
worked. He has been working on his
sobriety for about 2 months now.
At first I was ecstatic that he was
actually attending aa. But, I have
realized I have some major trust issues
from when he wasn't sober. I was hurt,
and never really had the chance to work on
that. In addition, he has fallen off the
wagon twice. It has made the trust
non-existant.
I am worn out completely. I feel like I
don't have the strength to be supportive
of his sobriety anymore. For the first
time in my life I feel completely
justified in being selfish.
I am hoping that someone can offer some
advice or a book that would help me work
through my trust issues, and the past pain
I never took the time to deal with.
|
rhondawms
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2006 Posts: 30 Location: usa
Hello Posted: 07-28-06 20:43pm
Hello wildberry.My name is rhonda and I am
a recovering alcoholic I have been sober
from alcohol for 11 yrs now. I will say
from the start that falling off the wagon
as so many chose to put it is all a part
of getting sober.It may take him several
yrs to get sober. It took me many. My
addictions did not stop at alc. I had so
many, men drugs etc.I can reccomend a book
titled im dancing as fast as I can and a
purpose driven life.You are not wrong for
feeling or even being selfish my family
had to do it for a lot of yrs.They saw me
thru drug trts., and hospitals from
suicide attempts to leaving for many
months without notification.Thank god my
family loves me and believes in me. I
still have days where I feel I do not
belong and wish I were somewhere else...
We must choose to trust our instincts in
these matters. When I say trust ourselves
I am saying go with your gut feeling it is
almost always right,he may have months
when he is sober and then he may have
months being a total drunken fool who
wishes the day after that he could take it
all back if he is lucky and remembers the
day before.I was a black out drinker I
would drink for days and not remember
them.. I would drink a few minutes and
the next thing I knew it would be days
later. I could be driving my car and
drinking and find myself in places I could
not rem. How I got there.Thank god I did
not hurt anyone.When I say hurt I mean
physisically hurt , emotionally my kids
paid the price of my horrible other self.I
hope and pray that you do not spend years
trying to sober him up he must do this on
his own.If you love him you must have no
doubts about this love.You will have to be
strong for both yourself and him it will
take strength you yourself didnt know you
had.You must look within your heart to do
this.And be most of all honest when you
ask yourself questions.All the best to you
and him........
|
wildberry
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 2
Posted: 07-29-06 15:01pm
Thank you rhonda. I really appreciate
the insight you were able to provide. I
will definately check out the book you
recommended. Congratulations on you
sobriety.
