Does she have the kind of hpv that causes warts or does she have the high risk hpv that may cause cancer? There are many different strains of hpv.

Statistically, there may be up to as much as 85% of the sexual population that has hpv and most will never even know it. In some people it can cause warts (if you have one of those strains) or cervical abnormalities (if you have one of those strains). There is a possibility you could have both strains of hpv too.

Warts are only visible when there is an outbreak of warts. But she would be contagious all the time. Wearing a condom can provide you with some protection, but if any of the skin from your genitals comes in contact with any of the skin from her genitals, you may still get it. Condoms have not proven 100% effective in preventing the spread of hpv.

You aren't being cold and selfish about it. I think a lot of people don't have any understanding of the scope of these kinds of 'diseases'. It is so rampant because the majority of people who carry the disease do not have any symptoms. For instance, are you aware there is no test for men who have the strain of high risk hpv? Therefore I man can have it and pass it to a woman unknowingly. Men do not get high risk hpv symptoms. But it can cause cancer in women.

Good luck to you .A.N.D your partner!