Someone please email me and ask me for a
pic. I'm thinking that i'm ugly and it's
ruined my life in every sort of way, i'm
only 16 and never had a girlfiriend.
Please email me so I can giv you my pic
for honest feedback, email: gerfupl@
hotmail.Com, thanks everyone.
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Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 07-27-06 08:48am
I doubt very much that it is your
appearance.....Although that's usually
considered the "bait" in getting a
relationship started.....I, and i'm sure
i'm not alone, am attracted to confidence,
intelligence, people with passion and a
love for life(men or women).............No
matter how crappy the circumstances are at
the moment.
My ex bf is such a person, thick set,
sneering or saturnine in expression,
determine and even harsh like looks, but a
power house............Exceedingly
passionate about everything, will power
and unconquerable desire to
succeed...................We are total
opposites in appearance, however have the
same desires in life to make a difference
no matter how small, in things that matter
to us.
Trust me, your not ugly, in any
way.......You don't want people judging
you on your appearance, as you should not
do to others......May sound flakey but I
am attracted to the inside first.....If
the the outside is beautiful too......Than
that's just icing on the cake. :)
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hamza
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jul 2006 Posts: 4 Location: Falls church, va
Pic. Posted: 07-27-06 23:02pm
Hello again, would you like to see a pic
from me for feedback? Email is gerfupl@
hotmail.Com, thanks.
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Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 07-28-06 06:20am
Hi hamza,
your not listening to the message, I
really do not care about peoples physical
appearance...................And as you
get older you too will realize that it's
only the inners that count. I already
know you have a good soul, just wish you'd
see this too. :)
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Elda
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 3
Posted: 07-28-06 06:30am
spirit
wrote:
hi hamza,
your not listening to the message, I
really do not care about peoples physical
appearance...................And as you
get older you too will realize that it's
only the inners that count. I already
know you have a good soul, just wish you'd
see this too.
:)
yeah, that's true
* * * * * *
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drifter
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 24 Location: USA
Posted: 07-28-06 19:24pm
spirit
wrote:
hi hamza,
... It's only the inners that count...
i disagree with this. Physical appearance
and shape mean a lot. I don't think that
it's all that important for guys to look
pretty, but they definitely should be
sporty and neat. If one can't exercise
due to health problems, well, tough luck.
And btw, girlfriend at 16 is an
unnecessary burden. Trust me you won't
lose much if you don't get involved into a
relationship this early in your life.
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Blader
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jul 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 07-01-08 17:59pm
Im going through the same problem, my view
of my appereance has pretty much ruined my
life and choice of jobs, i got so
depressed that i dropped out of college
and got sacked from 2 jobs.
im 18 years old now and so far things seem
to be getting worse, i have lost alot of
friends, but since loosing those firends i
have for some reason been alot happier and
am feeling more confident and this is the
key to finding new friends, i found that
intead of trying to fit in just be
yourself and the rest will fall into
place.
all my friends seemed to be gettin loads
of girlfriends at the ages of 14-18
whereas i was without anyone which is what
lead to the depression in the first place,
but in those 4 years i have seen my
friends cry, get depressed themselves ,
start fighting with each other all because
of girls, this changed my view of what
matters in life its not looks, girls have
a huge tendancy to concentrate on what
celebrity guys look like and base us guys
on them (i know not all girls are like
this, just the oens i happen to meet lol),
im a happy, fun person on the inside and
other people that i hang around with now
are seeing me as that, yh it may never
lead to a girlfriend but so what i have
good friends and family. thats what
matters in life.
Hey friend. It's good to hear from you.
So many things are so over-rated.
Unfortunately, looks are one of them. Now
I'm not trying to convince you that you're
something you're not -- I for one am
discouraged because of how ugly I am and
feel powerless. However, I can relate. I
just can't "fix" anything.
16 (now 17) and never had a girlfriend. I
guess I was a month shy of 17 before I was
kissed by a girl. And perhaps I was about
26 before I was kissed by a guy. You see,
I'm bisexual and beggers can't be choosers
anyhow. With the girl (my seond ever
girlfriend but the first I ever kissed) I
consider it an act of "kindness" as we met
in the hospital and both needed somebody.
A year later she left me for an older man,
married him, and apparently divorced him
leaving her stranded out west, disowned by
her family. But I tried. There was an
amzing turn of events, however.
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daddyUgly
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2008 Posts: 3
What an ugly world this would be Posted: 07-12-08 00:39am
It was 12½ years ago and I had broken up
from a nasty relationship with my
ex-boyfriend. No love there. I tried. I
was just being used. And yes, boys and
girls, even sex gets boring in a short
time if you don't love the one you're
with.
But in the few social circles I was in,
everybody was already in a relationship or
had enough friends that they could get one
if they wanted. I resorted to the public
library - books on loneliness. They
assumed you knew how to socialize and were
mostly for those who were divorced or
widowed. Another dead end.
So... before returning them I placed a
note into one of the books stating how
lonely I was and wanted a friend. I
included my pseudonym and post office box
number. Two months later I get a letter in
the mail! This girl about my age was also
lonely. We corresponded a few times, then
I found her "secret" phone number and
called her up (really freaked her out). We
met in person. But by that time (and this
is important) she realized that I tried to
be a kind individual and so mu ugliness
wasn't a major issue. It worked, and
three years later we got married! July 6
was our 9th anniversary.
So it can be done. But I guess you have to
find someone who cares more about how nice
you are than about looks. It's NOT easy,
but... it is possible.
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worrywart01
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 538 Location: ,
Thanks: 50
Thanked:6
online
Posted: 07-12-08 01:58am
its not a big deal to be 16 and not have
a girlfriend..i didn't get into a serious
relationship until 19...i dated guys..on
and off but..never really became
"boyfriend/girlfriend"...take advantage of
being single, go out, have fun and i'm
sure you'll come across someone that takes
notice of you...just be confident...a lack
of confidence is a big turn off...as well
as cockiness...looks are JUST a start...to
be honest with you...my boyfriend that I'm
currently dating I never started dating bc
I saw him and thought he was drop dead
gorgeous, quite frankly with the hair he
had back then he looked downright goofy(he
had a whiteboy fro goin hahaha ) but he
continuously asked me out, and after
turning him down several times(he was my
brothers friend..i figured it'd be weird)
i thought what the heck...we just
clicked..and the more i hung out with him
the more i fell for him and 2 years later
we're still together(thank god that white
boy fro is gone..what a cutie he is
without all that hair! LOL)
....anyway...my point is...if you've got
the personality THATS what counts...girls
love a guy with a great sense of humor
that can make them laugh...i'm sure you'll
find yourself a nice girl..just give it
time...
A phooey on you, O insensitive one. I've
"only" been diagnosed formally with
depression 16 years ago. It's something I
live with day in and day out. Yet I've
probably had it much longer - that's
simply when I was diagnosed. To have or
to not have a boyfriend/girlfriend goes
far beyond the social aspects that others
see. It includes seeing the happy
relationships "everybody else" has,
whether it's true or not. That's how it
appears. This can develop a sense of
inadequacy in a person. For me it's a car
(despite current gas prices) and a paying
job. But at one time I had the perception
of "everyone else" being happinly in a
relationship and when it's hard to meet
other single people, sometimes one is
convinced that they don't exist. "I'm the
only one on this planet without a
significant other." Funny thing, I had no
idea that somebody else in my hometown was
thinking the same thing and we were just
waiting for fate to put us in the right
place at the right time. I admit I lucked
out but some think it was meant to be.
Because it seems you don't WANT a steady
boyfriend, perhaps you can't quite
understand why it's important to some
people. It's nice to know that you're
loved. Not everybody has that feeling.
When you say "looks are JUST a start" you
underestimate a lot of people Many don't
give us ugly people a second look. I
remember a job coach telling me to walk
around the building making eye contact and
smiling at people. Upon completing the
assignment she was surprised to learn that
with every attempt without exception,
people looked AWAY (probably in disgust).
In fact, if I didn't meet my wife through
an off beat form of correspondence she
probably wouldn't have bothered with me
either if she saw me before we actually
made contact. When she learned of my
being bisexual she didn't want anything to
do with me but later reconsidered when I
explained that I belive in monogamy, it's
that gender to me is so trivial that I
don't have a preference. But honestly -
looks count to many. If it's not the face
of my favourite hotties (Linda Evans or
Tom Hanks) then a person seems to want the
body of a (super)model and most certainly
not a person like me who is 5'1".
It seems that other important factors when
shopping for a guy include someone with a
car, a job, money (financial security) and
of course 8 inches or more.
Some of these things are hard to fake.
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Marc209
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2007 Posts: 31
Posted: 07-15-08 20:35pm
Not to worry, man.
Most girls from the ages of <25 are
only interested in guys that are a 8 or a
9+ in looks, unless you have exceptional
humor and personality. I'm ugly, but I
know I'm in the same boat with a lot of
guys who are better looking than me. It's
only after 25 when they start to think
about having a family and so other things
become important so that they can obtain
this dream of theres.
