I'm in love with my bipolar bf since almost two years, they were the worst 2 years of my life, I made too much researches on the bipolar disorder and all the symptoms related, I think this is why we still together till now.
We broke up for about 3 months, then he came back to me telling that he's regretting that we broke up, and that he'll never get me upset anymore and that he has discovered how much he loves me, I believed him and told him that i'll return in one condition which is going to the psychiatrist and take medications. He accepted (so weird) so i'm back...
After a while of being medicated, he tried to commit suicide and the other black side of his personality appeared (his hate of meds and shrinks and all the things and people including me coz i'm the cause of all of this in his thinking), he confessed to me of all the bad things he did while we were apart, now i'm trying to keep my trust, but i'm tired, I cannot trust him anymore, he ruined my life also.... He's so contradictory, he says something and after an hour he says the contrary of it, he's now more stable with medications but not normal... He gets angry so quickly.
I think that even if he'll be like a normal man and so stable, he cannot be logic in anything, because bipolar is against logic, did u know that?
The disorder ruined his past life when he was not on meds, so he can never be the logic person, he'll never think logically, it's a severe disorder, excuse me all, but i'm talking about my boyfriend... It's not the case for all.
Now i'm so anxious and depressive just because of him... My life is almost stopped, I do not work or study even eat or drink... So i'm just waiting for the good moment to leave him coz i'm really tired of giving all I have to him without any progress or care from him, he's being so rude and aggressive even when he's on meds, i'm beginning to give up on him, love is also ruined (not too much but the trust is off).
Does anyone have an advise for me, perhaps it can give a little more hope in this relationship, or it can calm me down????????