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dma_xp

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Posted: 01-23-08 12:07pm


one more thing some females are tms users as well they masturbate on stomach so i guess that a tms male and a tms female are a perfect match good luck for me finding a tms female that would enjoy sex in doggy lay flat position we are not all created equal all of you remember that

Tylanas

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Posted: 01-23-08 13:12pm


Most females who have tms actually use things like the arms of chairs, corners of beds etc, since there is nothing for us to rub against a bed when we are face-down. Maturbation is nearly impossible in a face-down position for a female, so I doubt you will find a woman who "must" masturbate that way.

dma_xp

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Posted: 01-23-08 13:37pm


eiri i understand the sympathy 1 zillion years ago a male, nor female could find something 2 rub against safely thank god to blankets, pillows, etc, they have been made...

BeccaAloha

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ADVICE from someone on the recieving end........ Posted: 02-21-08 04:04am


As a girlfriend of a sufferer of TMS for 2 years, I can say first and foremost, TMS is REAL, I've had to put up with the frustrations of being a female on the recieving end of a man who suffers from this and goes in and out of denial and acceptance because of all the conflicting information about it. Frankly, I don't care what the doctors say about how there's not enough research and its not an issue, Have any of those doctors experienced it themselves or had a partner who did? I KNOW this is a problem especially when a man who has it tries to have an intimate relationship, mabye a lot of men who suffer can live in denial because they are rarely intimate with a woman long enough to see how it affects a real RELATIONSHIP, but let me assure you if you want more than a life of solo sex, you going to have to admit you have it and take steps to correct it, I'm pretty sure the guy who wrote "HEALTHY STROKES" knows exactly what he's talking about because he suffered it himself but also learned how to correct it. If any guy out there reading this really wants to know how to please and keep a woman for the long term, he's going to have to correct this, or keep living in denial and enjoy solo sex for life. Are there any other women who've been on the recieving end of this or men who want to step up and admit it does cause MAJOR issues in a long term sexual relationship??? BE BRAVE! LETS get the real info. out there to those who suffer so they can stop hiding in denial and start the solution NOW!

BeccaAloha

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From SOMEONE who KNOWS... Posted: 02-21-08 04:24am


Here's just a couple of reasons why a Male who has TMS cannot continue to masturbate this way if he want to keep a long term sexual relationship with a woman: 1. A Woman actually enjoys seeing her man masturbate and seeing his erect penis while he does it, it turns a woman on to see how confident her man is that he would caress his hard penis right in front of her 2. Masturbating in front of your woman also shows her how much she turns you on and is a great way to keep the intimacy going at times when the woman cannot or does not want intercourse 2a. There are many normal reasons and times when a man will want sex and his woman does not, (for some its dryness after her period, for some its too messy during her period, just not in the mood, painful conditions in the vagina and intercourse makes it worse, tired, sick, etc) for all these reasons, a man masturbating in front of his woman is completely normal and healthy 3. Women enjoy sex in many different positions and do not want to be forced to only have one type of sex for the rest of their life because that's the only way their Man can ejaculate 4. Yes, we may all have our preferences of course but man and woman can and should enjoy sex from a variety of positions esp. in a long term relationship to keep things interesting 5. The pressure that a TMS man puts on his penis when he masturbates is way too hard when compared with the natural sensation of a vagina around it, therefore his penis becomes desensitized and the commom vagina does nothing or very little to stimulate this desensitized penis 6. And then there's all the repercussions and emotional strain of all this 6.a. The TMS man rarely ejaculates from intercourse with his woman and Has NEVER reached orgasm from a hand job or oral sex from his WOMAN!! again ruling out several other ways to share intimacy when a woman cannot or doesn't want intercourse 6.b. The Man and woman get frustrated from sex and all sexual encounters because eventually neither of them are pleased 6.c. the woman feels unsexy like maybe its her fault he cannot come, maybe I'm not hot enough, or whatever-----enough, etc. 6.d. the man starts to feel inadequate when he realizes his woman is not pleased because he is not pleased 6.e. the man adds even more pressure to himself to enjoy intercourse and keep an erect penis to atleast please his woman with an orgasm since he cannot enjoy one, but again this only adds to the problem 6.f. now the man has not only TMS but performance anxiety about pleasing his woman and even lower self esteem and reduced sexual confidence 6. g the woman now sensing this reduced self esteem and confidence it even more so turned off herself, and frustrated that neither can enjoy sex now, the woman is turned on by a confident man AND ALL THIS CONTINUES TO SNOWBALL INTO MORE AND MORE ISSUES UNTIL FINALLY THE MAN AND WOMAN CONVINCE EACHOTHER THAT EVEN THOUGH THEY LOVE EACHOTHER DEARLY AND ARE COMPATIBLE IN EVERY OTHER ASPECT OF A RELATIONSHIP, THAT THEY JUST AREN'T MEANT TO BE BECAUSE THEIR SEX LIFE SUCKS, AND SO THE MAN CONTINUES TO LIVE IN DENIAL THAT ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH HIM AND BLAME IT ALL ON THE WOMAN AND THE WOMAN RETREATS WITH HER BROKEN HEART FOR ALL HER EFFORTS ARE FOR NOTHING AND THAT AFTER TWO YEARS OF PUTTING UP WITH THE FRUSTRATIONS OF LOVING A TMS MAN SHE STILL CAN DO NOTHING TO HELP BECAUSE HE CONTINUES TO LIVE IN DENIAL AND EVEN BLAMES IT ON HER EVEN SO IF ANYONE OUT THERE STILL THINKS THAT TMS IS NOT A REAL PROBLEM I CHALLENGE YOU TO EXPLAIN TO ME NOW WHY IT IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT AND NOT EVEN A REAL SYNDROME

Tylanas

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Posted: 02-21-08 10:05am

dma_xp wrote:

eiri i understand the sympathy 1 zillion years ago a male, nor female could find something 2 rub against safely thank god to blankets, pillows, etc, they have been made...

We had hands back then and we have hands now, and that's the healthy way to masturbate.

exodia69

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Posted: 03-26-08 13:06pm


Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome is: --- these links suck --- if you find some better ones do tell --- link [healthystrokes.com] link [www.ehealthforum.com] --out of order -- What is Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome? Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS) is the habit some males have of masturbating in a face-down (prone) position. Some TMS practitioners rub their penises against the mattress, pillow, or other bedding, while others thrust into their hand. Some rub against the floor. What's the correct way? Over 90 percent of males lie on their backs and make a fist around their penises and stroke in an up and down motion. Nearly all TMS practitioners are aware that males usually masturbate this way, but many think that their way is merely a harmless variation, or even that it's better than regular masturbation. All men who masturbate face-down think the way they masturbate is more similar to missionary-style intercourse than conventional masturbation is. Dr. Lewis Sank MD conducted a brief study where he found that males who masturbate like this put to much pressure on the base of the penis and testicles, making conventional intercourse extremely difficult to mimic. What is conventional intercourse? Well i cant answer that one but, since i "suffer" from this TMS (learning to masturbate wrong) i will only be able to achieve climax with a woman if she is on her back, and i lay on top, or if she is on her stomach and i lay on top, it just wont happen with a woman on top of me. Erectile Dysfunction. As for erectile dysfunction, (unable to get an erection) i do not suffer from but i can only get a strong erection while in prone positions, or just wake up with a hard on. Theory's behind why some males learn different ways to masturbate can range from their blood types to their first binkie's color. -- Its just unknown. Solution, I propose that schools make a special effort in sexual education for boys and girls to teach them the dangers of certain bad habits with masturbation... i don't know much about the female masturbation practice but I'm sure there are dangers out there as well, I'm not saying TMS is a bad thing at all yet but maybe its time to weigh the facts, hand use masturbation can cause some problems (curvature), hand-free masturbation can cause some problems (loss of sensitivity to areas of the penis), the best bet i can see is fleshlights for boys at around age 5-7 or so, and dildos/vibrators for girls at around age 5-7 or so but, I'm not professional here i just feel like the subject went taboo for so long that a problem was bound to arise. yes i "suffer" from this symptom but its alright with me that i cant perform acrobatics during sexual intercourse but the wierd part to me is this one, iv masturbated this way for about 20 years now, and im worried a girl will think I'm weird when i tell her we gotta do this face to face and it will be a full body contact "sport", another weird part is yeah i have rubbed on a floor and got off... i don't do that, but when i was in Hawaii for a month with my family the only time i could get to myself was in the bathroom... iv talked with my mom about this before, (yes all guys get "caught" but i just hate how masturbation has to feel shameful) she suggested a sex therapist... desensitization i guess is the word in question, how could a hand be any better? as for beccaaloha thanks for being so understanding that men can learn how to masturbate wrong

Tylanas

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Posted: 03-26-08 13:49pm


I would not be happy with a man who could only have sex in one pose. I like to see his face; I like acrobatics! I definitely consider TMS a bad thing as it restricts you from engaging in normal sexual behaviors. Of course men can learn to masturbate wrong; but, you can also relearn how to do it right. There is advice in this thread and on those sites about how to retrain yourself.

exodia69

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Posted: 03-26-08 14:08pm


two poses btw before i waste my time and everyone else's time trying to relearn im going to help educate parents to buy fleshlights for there children vice/versa dildo/vibrator parents are not open enough with there children, talk to your kids about sex so it sounds like real soon here im going to suffer extreme desensitization to my penis, my body weight is just to much for an erect penis to handle making it want to explode, cutting off circulation?... dr. sank needs to re-do his survey, and find more evidence, im gonna send him a letter through the mail. i been doing this for like 20 years and my penis still feels the same as it did 10 years ago

Tylanas

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Posted: 03-26-08 17:52pm


Well I don't think parents need to buy fleshlights and dildos. I think they just need to explain what masturbation IS and explain the basic position it is done in. If you learn that as a male, you are supposed to masturbate by grabbing your penis and rubbing up and down, then it's not going to occur to you to lay facedown on a bed and hump.

exodia69

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Posted: 03-27-08 07:32am


maybe a learned from a dog?

Tylanas

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Posted: 03-27-08 17:20pm

exodia69 wrote:

maybe a learned from a dog?

Dogs lick themselves or hump other animals. Either way, that's very disturbing. Again, if your parents TOLD you how, why would you do it like a dog? Humans do it this way, doggies do it that way. Are you a dog? No. Then don't have sex all the time like one and don't masturbate like one.

exodia69

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Posted: 03-28-08 07:58am


i just find it prejudice when im insulted in that form that i learned to masturbate its a very touching (anti-toching'ish) moment of my life, i feel like i failed the world in a way that wasn't my fault, i should tell me sad stories across the nation and make everyone understand this is a very serious threat, that feels like a prejudice issue.

Tylanas

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Posted: 03-28-08 10:07am


Well I'm sorry, but I would find it insulting if my bf couldn't have sex with me like a human being. It's not your fault, but you can either choose to be a victim, or, choose to fix it.

exodia69

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Posted: 04-03-08 09:10am


eiri have you ever seen a guy rub back and forth to masturbate... maybe its just a natural instinct for some to learn this way, i rather just stick with my natural instinct and do it the way i learned how than try to adjust and learn it the wrong way, ill choose to be the victim, humans can still have human sex like this but it limits the angles and positions a man can perform, i hope a find a girl out there that is understanding. the only reason this has become a prejudice issue is because girls out there think its wrong if they never get to be on top... yeah a girl can be on top of me but my erection will probably be declining rapidly. tms is not super rough masturbation, its just the fact that i have to be on my stomach. i think natural instinct comes into play. i shouldn't have to say much more cause then the subject will transform into a rape argument.

Tylanas

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Posted: 04-03-08 23:52pm


Exodia, you seem very similar to another user who used to be on here with TMS. He, like you, was in denial. He, like you, thought it was "ok" that he had sex this way. He decided to threaten me in a PM with rape, stating that it too was natural. He was banned. It IS WRONG if the female never gets to be on top. It IS WRONG to only have sex in one position. It IS NOT natural for men or women to masturbate that way or we would ALL DO IT. Occasionally having doggy-style sex is fine, I am in no way condemning that. However, ALWAYS NEEDING to have sex that way because you refuse to masturbate like a normal man is WRONG.

exodia69

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Posted: 04-04-08 12:42pm


o well your wrong im right... sex in 1 position is alright... your a very clever girl.... the only reason i got banned was giving out personal information... email adress... im not gonna do that but i sure would like to speak with the guys that are in my shoe's on my own time... sorry if you disagree with my statement... and yes tms is more like a rape position for sex... it doesn't have to be that way... im not a rapist or even condone such an action but dude... grow up... nearly 70% of all insects and animals... the man jumps on top of the girl... holds her down with his weight and does his thing... im going to stand up for the animal kingdom. next view between you and i...whats wrong with sex in one too two positions... if that seems boring to you than your addicted to sex... thats worse than being addicted to masturbation... so i guess im here to help you now...

exodia69

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Posted: 04-04-08 12:45pm


i never threaten you in a pm... lie... if i did i didn't mean it... and i apologize. whats to deny about being right?

exodia69

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Posted: 04-04-08 13:12pm


i cant wait to find a girl that understands that sex is simple 1 position, 5 minutes... we are happy... focus on the we are, i can please a girl like this... physically... 100% mentally it looks like i can't... girls like to dominate, i naturally learned with no additives to my perceived knowledge that a girl was suppose to dominate me in any way during sex. This is beyond schooling... its more like DNA. call me a dog it just fuels the fire... within... iv talked to a sex therapist and he told me that he masturbated the same way, and his sex life is condoned too two different positions... and he has 3 kids and is happy with his life. He told me to find a girl, love her, and keep loving her. If you wanna judge... Eiri... you met your match. id almost want to take you to the philosophy forums.... forget this crap... philosophy is where it would be at...

justagirl20

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female perspective Posted: 05-05-08 09:17am


I don't think the problem will be finding someone who will enjoy 5 minutes of sex in one position - it will be finding someone who will understand once you lose all sensation, and don't enjoy intercourse at all. Every girl I know would feel inadequate if they were unable to bring a man to climax orally or manually - and a complete disappointment if their guy rarely orgasms during intercourse. ITS NOT ABOUT THE SEX! Its about knowing that your partner is turned on enough to maintain an erection until ejaculating, if not every, at least almost every time, with you. Its about knowing that they are enjoying themselves more with you than with a stationary object. I've recently been dating a guy with TMS. In the very beginning, things were fine - it had been a while for both of us. As time went on, his sexual performance went downhill rapidly - a huge frustration, more for him than me. I've always been satisfied - he makes sure of that - but he's been unable to reach orgasm 80% of the time we're intimate. He said he's only gotten off orally once in his life, and he's been practicing masturbation in the prone position for over 15 years. He describes losing all sensitivity during the first few minutes of sex - I initially thought I'd given him an infection, or that he had nerve damage, or that this could be signs of a serious disease. I'm so lucky in the fact that he's willing to talk to me about it, and I did a little research and came across the healthystrokes.com website - and we went through it together. He nodded and agreed with everything that the author had to say. So what if its not medically documented?! If someone describes to you a solution to a problem that you share, wouldn't you at least try their advice?! Yes, I said problem - sex is a huge part of any romantic relationship. And if things aren't working out in the bedroom, and nothing is done about it, chances are the relationship won't last. Again, I feel so fortunate that 1. this guy admits there's an issue, and 2. is willing to try and do something about it. Really, thats all that I can ask. For those of you who think that this is not a problem, and that a girl you love should accept the situation for what it is, I'd like to say that we're not concerned with being pleased ourselves - we want to make sure that you enjoy sex just as much. And sorry guys, that means having an orgasm. If you believe that there are no emotional repercussions for a girl when her man can't perform, think again.

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