My 14 Year Old Daughter Is Pregnant (Page 1)

Its right for you to feel so protective of your daughter as she is your baby. This boy knew what he was doing and knew the consequences so he should be involved in the child's upbringing. Its not right for your daughter to do it without him as it takes two to tango right? I think he should finish off with his education and get a job when he is old enough but of course help out. You can get benefits if you're struggling with money. Same thing with your daughter, when shes had the baby your daughter can go back and finish her education so she can make a life of herself. Over where I come from, the government will pay for childcare if the mother decides she wants to go back to full time education. Good luck and I hope this has helped x

Exactly. You shouldnt want to keep your grandchild from his father... I know what it can do and its a bad position to put your daughter in also. Whats done is done, its good that you're supporting her and helping her out but you need to let the father see the baby too, its not just her child.

Maybe her reasons for wanting to keep him away are legitimate...
So how come you don't want him around? Is he a bad influence? Involved in bad things? Making bad choices?

Ew yeah didn't think about that, I just assumed she didnt want him around because hes oung and cant support her and "took her baby away"

Shes probably just trying to protect her baby herself

I am sorry that this has happened to you and I am glad that you are willing to show her some support! This happens to a lot of people, you are not alone, hopefully he can get a part-time job at 16y/o and continue his education and help out some. My suggestion is to go to social services and see what your rights and what their rights are because their are times, depending where you live that once a young girl has a baby she is classified as an adult. We are here for you!
Welcome to you and I am sorry that we met under the circumstances that we did but we can always say, it could have been worse!
All the best to you and yours!

Yes, its very hard as this is my baby. Hes been argueing with her this past week and saying ugly things to her. He says hes going to have a dna test to make sure it his his family says the same. I understand that. But they think we are going to go ahead and put his name on the birth certificate and the baby will have his last name. I am trying not to argue cause they like to start things thats just the way they are. The baby will have our last name no doubt about it. Then hes told er he doesnt want anything to do with her till the baby is born and he finds out if hes the father then he wants to be involved with the baby. I dont think she should sit around and wait on him shes only a child herself. So she went to the mall today and someone seen her talking to some guy friends from her school. And he calls her tonight and says its over ur f***** other guys and hes going to take her baby. She was just talking with them. She cried and cried. Hes always hurting her. He is really messed up and my daughter has told me he has been smoking pot. I dont want my grandbaby around all that. I can already tell they are going to put up a fight, but theysaid that her son wouldnt be able to pay for child support until he gets out of school and gets a good job. What kind of visitations will they get on a regular basis. My daughter doesnt want it going to their house without her and she just cries. I feel so bad for her. She was still 13 when she got pregnant. I just want whats best and need to know what to expect, when the time comes.

Do we have to let him in the labor room. He wants to be and my daughter doesnt want him to be and doesnt want to tell him and make him made. I dont feel comfortable with him being in their with her while giving birth.

Wow, i'm sorry for saying what I did then. I don't think you have to let him in the delivery room. I really hope everything goes okay with you guys, you should stay and keep us updated on what happens. Good luck!

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is in this position and that it is affecting you so greatly. You're a great mom to be standing beside her through this and being such a wonderful support.

Regarding the labour room, even if the father could somehow prove his paternity before the baby was born, he has no right to be in the labour room unless your daughter chooses to have him in there. Most hospitals will only allow one or 2 coaches or visitors in the room at a time, and if someone upsets the mother they will bar that person from the labour room. This includes spouses, much less boyfriends and ex-boyfriends. Just make sure that the hospital staff is aware that this guy is toxic to your daughter and that you want him and his family as far from her while she is going through what's already one of the most difficult (though miraculous) things a woman (much less girl) can go through. She may have to inform them of this herself, depending on the hospital.

Regarding the apparently toxic father and his family, I hope you are recording the hurtful and abusive things he and his family are saying. These comments may assist you in the visitation/custody procedings following a positive dna test. Get a notebook and write down the comments, along with the time, date and place they occurred. I am not certain they will help, but I can't see how they would hurt your case.

I can totally understand your daughter not wanting her baby going to their house unsupervised. I wouldn't want my child in the sole care of these people for so much as 5 minutes either.
My heart goes out to both of you during this time.
Hoping strength for both of you.
Jacqueline

Try to keep his name off the birth certificate. Once you are forced to go through dna testing and you are in court establishing visitation bring forward that he smokes drugs, and his behavior. It would be good if you had evidence, so maybe tape phone calls ect. Hopefully they will submit him to a drug test, and i'm pretty sure pot stays in your pee really long. And he's probably doing enough for there to almost always be traces in his pee. By not supporting her during the pregnancy he's also not supporting his baby. Though maybe, since everyone is scared and worked up, the best solution is to have him in the babies life if he agrees to counceling and conditions ect. Talk to a lawyer, and try to get something official out there before the actual birth of the baby. Try to be fair though, kids need fathers also. Try to keep your personal feelings aside and think about the baby. Though I hate the father of my kid, and would like to hurt him it's not worth sacraficing anything the baby needs or is best for the baby just to get him back. Just because he's a horrible boyfriend doesn't mean he can't be a great father... Even the most selfish men can be completely different to their kids than anyone else in the world.

Thanks for all your support. I will start now at keeping a record of what all happens between now and then. This family will put up a fight for any little thing they can. Thats just the way they are. The boys mother is right along with him in giving her a hard time. I just pray it all works out in the end.

I am sorry tha you are going trough all of this hell, I did not understand it was that type of a situation, if it were me I would think about getting a restraining order as he is already mentally abusing her along with his family and who knows if he would physically abuse her. I hope your daughter knows what a great .Mom she has! I hope she keeps her distance from him! I believe what the person posted above is true, quit answering his calls and if he comes over, just call the cops as your daughter does not need the added stress right now with being pregnant and neither do you! Just do what you can without getting yourself in trouble and remember that we are here for you and your daughter!

I think he should be involved because he is the father but before he gets involoved he needs to sriten his act up.His family needs to grow up.I would not out him on the birth certificate! If I were your daughter I wouldn't even tell him when I was going into labor!

If my daughter was 14 and pregnant and some jerky little boy was fouth mouthing her, calling her names and telling her the baby wasn't his - with his family right along for the ride - I would certainly put an end to his involvement with the entire situation until he decided to grow up enough to be civil.

He would be treated like he was treating her - badly. And until he changed, he would be the 'criminal'.

I doubt anyone would ever do anything less for their daughters.