Hi anne,
it's so hard to figure out if it's the molars or not with tmj. When you say 3rd molars, are you meaning your wisdom teeth? (sorry not to know but I had molars pulled when I was a kid and don't know what is normal.)
if your bite is getting messed up because of the wisdom teeth, than i'm for pulling. It is extremely important to have a balanced bite. If not, when stress hits us and we clench or grind our teeth when sleeping, we can mess up our muscles/tendons and the disc(s) will be forced out of position.
Myohio is giving you good advice. Also, an oral surgeon would be more worth your money than a neurologist.
And finally, it is my opinion that you should be using a bite splint at night if you are having pain. I have found out though that it is very important to find a good bite splint maker and adjuster. So, please check out the specialists if you can.
Tmj is "fixable," so don't panic. Work on relaxation and posture (check out
www.Nismat.Org/ptcor/tmj for pictures). Use lots of moist heat and/or ice. Physical or massage therapy can be wonderful if you are in lots of pain. Valium or xanax at night for a couple of weeks can be beneficial. But the bite splint is also very important for the bruxism.
I pray that you will get the good help you can. Be care, as myohio said, so many medical specialist just don't seem to be "up" on tmj. We patients almost have to be more knowledgeable than them.
Take care and god bless...
Carol