Question About Grieving

I was terrified I cryied for a long time... I had my mc in march of this year and some times still cry....

I felt numb I was in denial for a long time I even convinced myself right up until my due date that although I had given birth I could still feel my baby moving around inside me I got that bad that the doctor sent me for a scan to prove to me that I was no longer pregnant greiving affects people differently and although it will never fully go away it does get easier the main thing I can tell you is when the greif does hit don't hold it back if you want to cry then cry if you want to scream and shout do it but most of all talk about your baby and how you feel you will probably find that freinds and family are reluctant to talk to you about your baby this isn't because they don't care it is because they don't know what to say to you so it will be up to you to let them know you are ready to talk about your baby.

Diamond_splinter, that pretty much sums up my problem I think. I am so much in denial. I keep talking to my baby and asking it to be okay. Logically, I know it isn't there, it's dead but..
Yesterday, I had a good cry. I'm so tired. I don't want to think about what's coming up next. I don't want a d&c. I know it's not rational, but it would feel to me like I was killing my baby.
My doctor didn't mention misoprositol or any other non-surgical procedure to me. He only discussed d&c. I'm kind of angry about that. He and his one colleague are the only 2 doctors in my town to do d&c's and I can't help but think that he just wants to profit from my pain (i'm sure that's irrational too but..).
My friends have been extremely supportive so far. They haven't avoided me and they've asked a lot of questions. I was kind of scared to tell one of my friends because her and I have been semi-estranged for a while and I wasn't sure how she'd react. She has actually been the biggest help (besides my dh) and amazingly supportive.
I feel like I need to tell everyone that knew I was pregnant that the baby has died. And I keep wanting to apologize for telling them such horrible news. I know I would rather be told than find out from a friend by asking how the baby/pregnancy is going so i'm trying to do for them what I would want in their situation. It's actually me just trying to avoid thinking about my biggest worry, which is how the baby is going to come out.

Thank you, diamond and mama, for your support during this trying time and i'm sorry for your loss.
I think this is one of those times when women really just wish they could be a man. No one should go through this.

Hun your baby will come out and it will be hard either way I can understand your being worried and the way you feel about a d&c but beleive me you can not keep hold of your little one and if a d&c is the only way to go then it is something you must do it is not you letting your baby down in any way it is you letting your baby go and starting your greiving period so you can one day look back at the short time you have had your baby and smile againas for talking to your baby that is wonderful I still talk to both my angels and one of them is coming up to 14 the other is coming up 10 just because your baby is no longer physicaly with you it doesn't mean that they are not in your heart and you cannot speak to them.
I am glad to hear that your freinds are supporting you through this hun good luck and let us know how you get on.