Well I wouldn't take it personally, a lot of posts got wiped out ......This happens occasionally and on other sites too.

Yes, human beings are self centered, rude, obnoxious and a whole host of other things too. We spend our days being cut off in traffic, jostled on the street, elbowed in the store, parking spots getting stolen under our noses, ripped off, short changed and by the end of the day it's any wonder we have a hard time loving our fellow human beings.

Women are not the innocents they pretend to be but neither are the men. Like men, women are quite capable of lying, cheating, talking out of both sides of their mouths and generally being all round a**holes. However I doubt the solution is to give up entirely but to do your part however small to make, at least your part of the universe a better place to live..........Or you can be like them.

youre such an angry little person it makes me sick how much negativity you exude. Its really a shame and a massive turn off.F.Y.I. Are you not a human being too?

Love is there! There is so many different types such as a love between a .Mother and her child and a .Father and his child and then there is the .Grandparents love and then you have your aunts and uncles and their love between themselves and the love between th significant others or the b/f g/f and a husband and a wife, even though the respect is not always there forever and you also have the love for the flowers and the trees and the mountains and the animals. There is too much out there, you should never stop loving and if you have been hurt, it is kind of like falling, after a while, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.

oh no,don't go there hun! They will tell you that you didn;t read their post properly.They are talking about love between bf gf,dh & wife. . .If I am so self intersested why do I do things for my boyfriend to be happy?Why would we cry when they die?Why would we cry when they do something that hurts you(if you were only in it for yourself)?There is so many things I can think of to ask but they are too ignornat to answer.Just a non believer who is being rediculous about love and life

It is too early to talk about pregnancy. The earliest you can find out if you are pregnant or not is 10 days after ovulation and a possible conception. You can take a home pregnancy test if you miss your period. Otherwise, it seems that you were just hungry when you had those cravings.

i think the word you're looking for is 'assertive' and 'honest', as opposed to 'little' and 'angry'. You sure you didn't reply in this manner because I pointed out that you couldn't even read my post correctly? In which case, it may be you who is angry. Funny how many women frequently use that term (little) when attempting, quite poorly I might add, to lambaste a man isn't it? But I digress. I'm just honest about the world in which I live.

There's no point in pretending it's a beautiful sunny day when it's actually freezing cold and pouring down with rain. If you go out there without a coat, be prepared to get soaked and perhaps catch a cold. There's no point in romanticizing love when you know differently. If you go out there with starry-eyed notions, then be prepared for disappointment, and to perhaps have your heart run over by a truck.

Or you could just stick your head in the sand and keep on pretending I suppose. If that works for you, then more power to you. I realise and accept peoples' motives for entering a relationship that's all. I understand what they mean when they say 'i love you'.

Because of this, I don't expect the kind of undivided devotion 'because it was written in the stars' love most people seem to be looking for in their relationships, so I can't be hurt, fooled, walked over, or disappointed. I just calmly disengage from those people, and move on without becoming an emotional wreck in the process.

I'm not angry at all, not about that. I do believe however in the right of the individual to his/her point of view, without having their remarks removed from public view. When it does happen, yes, that angers me off.


Melissa_12.


The reason you do things for your boyfriend is because you derive some measure of personal satisfaction from having done it, which by extension, panders to your self-interest. However just the other day you were talking in another thread about not being sure about your boyfriend, and wanting to investigate the possiblities of a dating agency of some kind. You contemplate the idea of leaving your boyfriend to explore new horizons while claiming to love him and to want to do nice things for him? Has he beaten you? Does he emotionally abuse you? No, the reason you gave was that you were not sure about him. What, does he talk to himself im his sleep? Does he wear his socks to bed? Pick his nose? Pfft, you do not love him, you love yourself. If you loved him, you would be sure, and the thought of dating anyone else would be anathema to you.

As for parental love or hatred; that is also self-interest. Take for instance, parents who disown their children because their children are gay. Where is the parents love there? They will actually proclaim their wish never to see their own flesh and blood again, simply because of their child's sexual preferences?

That parent's religio-cultural influences have shaped their moral choices, ethical values, and perspectives on the world. These influences have moulded that parent's character, personality, how they approach life, and the expectations they have of themselves and others; especially their children, who are looked on as the newest link in a chain of cultural/moral continuity. This becomes the very essence of that parents object of self-interest; a wish to see that continuity remained unbroken. So in the interests of 'self-interest', they turn their back on their own flesh and blood, rather than face the fact that their child has indeed broken the chain, and chosen another path.

Outwardly, this takes on the appearance of hatred, but it is merely self-interest. Similarly, you cry if your 'loved ones' die for the same reason; whether you're speaking about biological relations, or your partner. You have lost something you desired in your life at that point in time. The operative word here is 'you'. Again, when speaking of yourself (or as you would say, 'i'), that is the very essence of self-interest. Family greatly influences a child's attitudes, values and learning, their development, and who they will become; their ability to make sense of the world, and to make their way in it. you have become reliant on them to guide you, or at least support you. It is therefore in your interest that they remain in your life. Therefore you experience sorrow when they are gone. This time 'self-interest' takes on the outward appearance of grief.

Self-interest also involves the pursuit of pleasure. Your partner makes you happy, makes you feel good; he or she enriches your life in some way, and is (for various reasons) what you want for yourself in your life. Therefore when their partners are gone, humans experience the same resulting emotions, because they have suffered loss; but its antecedent driving factor is once again 'self-interest'. In short, humans grieve for themselves, not their lost mates, or familial loved ones. Okay melissa_12, see if you can answer without attempting to assail me with one syllable insults.

Sandyallen,

no, i've never been hurt because i've never left myself open to it. As I said, i'm always ready to move on the moment the time comes.

I've been depressed, but no one made me depressed directly.

I was depressed because I realised that love (as we like to idealize it between humans) doesn't exist. I do love nature. I love the mountains, the sea and the sky. Nature make me feel good. So once again, it isn't really 'love', just my inclination for things that bring me pleasure. In other words my love for nature is not devoid of ulterior motive. My love for nature is based on (yes you guessed it) self-interest.

There's no escaping it i'm afraid :(

so what's wrong with ulterior motive or looking out for yourself? Nothing but when you realise that self-interest is the basis for all human interaction, then you have to consider that while 'love could never hurt you', 'ulterior motive' most certainly can and most likely will. But who knows what it will do in the context of a given situation? Therein lies the risk, and it's a risk i'm not prepared to take, because i'm not scared of the future.

I mean, 'ulterior motive' can be good and bad. Sometimes 'ulterior motive' may drive someone to give their own life to save the life of their partner. They want their partner to live so badly that their level of self-interest pushes them to heroic acts. Sometimes, it may drive someone to kill their own mother. Same motive, different actions and results. I said it before, if someone came up with a pill that extended life indefinitely, romantic relationships would become practically a thing of the past, as people would no longer fear growing old and alone.

The risk and hassle of putting your heart on the line, only to have it smashed to a pulp would be seen as not worth it, and people would instead go out and have a good time with their 'friends'. They would flirt, have sex, and maybe even hang with a particular person for a time because that particular person was interesting, funny, or beautiful to look at etc; but they wouldn't commit to that person, and hope that this one wouldn't piledrive them into another emotional nightmare, or worse.

I mean, melissa also mentioned something about her boyfriend's outburst in another thread. Her boyfriend shouted out because another guy asked her if she was okay when he saw her crying. That is jealousy, and one of the better examples of 'self-interest' disguised as 'love'. Look at how people behave when they become jealous. Look at how far people will go, how aggressively they behave, and how much emotional turmoil they will cause for their partner, because of their jealousy. Do you think they behave like that out of love for their partner, or concern for anyone but themselves?

They do it out of 'self-interest', in much the same way one kicks up a stink if they believe someone is trying to steal their car, or their money. This is my car (or money), and how dare you try to take it away from me. Love, on the other hand, would set the other free. Humans look out for themselves. Everything else springs from that one fundamental principle of human nature.