Sorry if this turns out to be a long story, but I need to know how the heck to break up with my boyfriend. I've been dating him for four years and we've been living together for three and a half. First, he moved from his home town to live with me. We stayed in my city up until one month ago. We both hated our jobs and decided to quit them. We moved to his home town a month ago to live with his parents, which is where we are now.
Our relationship has been on a steady downfall for a while now. As I mentioned in a different forum, we never have sex anymore but that isn't really the biggest problem. We don't have much in common and he never listens to me. It's either his way or no way. I have made a lot of sacrifices in this relationship to stay with him but he is never willing to make any (except for when he moved to my town but that wasn't really a sacrifice. He hated his town at the time and wanted to move).
We planned on moving in with his parents to save money (we don't have to pay for rent, groceries, utilities, cable) so we can to move to a bigger city. The problem with that is that I have a lot of bills of my own and a lot of bills to pay still from when we lived together in my home town. We've been in his town for a month now; it took me three weeks to find a job and he just started his new job today. These jobs pay minimum wage and my job is only part-time. So basically I haven't saved any money yet and will not save any for several months yet.
If that isn't bad enough, i'm graduating college in three months and there's no way I will be able to find a job in this small town with my degree. My boyfriend insisted that we would be able to save money and be out of here at the end of the summer. Now he's saying we won't be out of here until january. I have to start paying my massive student loan debt back starting next april.
So anyway, I know I can get a job in my old home town that pays a lot, and there I could look for a job that has to do with my degree (my city is about ten times the size of his). My boyfriend doesn't want to move back because he doesn't want to work at the same place as me (and it takes him forever to find a new job because he's too lazy to look for one!). I think he's being selfish. So why wouldn't I just move back and him stay here? Because neither of us have cars so we wouldn't be able to see each other.
He's also accusing me of cheating on him because I hang out with a guy friend some times when I visit my town, but that isn't true. I'm sick of his ridiculous accusations. So because of all these problems, I don't really think I love him anymore. I want to break up with him and move back to my town but I don't know how to do it. This is the first serious relationship i've ever been in. If I tell him I want a break-up he's going to say that I was cheating on him and that is the reason why I want to break up.
Also, there is the huge hassle of having to move...Separating everything that we own because we've been living together so long (who gets what?). I also don't want to tell him that I want to break up because i'm afraid he might destroy all my personal possessions or become suicidal. I am thinking of just taking off and leaving a note (his family is going to spend time at their cabin in the beginning of august so I could pack up and move out that weekend without telling him). How should I do this? I could really use some advice. Sorry this was so long. Thanks!