“i must know how I can quit drinking and do it around a whole pack of people who are constantly drinking!”

sugar, that may be impossible. We drink, that is what we do. If I could have stopped just by saying so, I would have. But it didn’t happen.

Someone would push a drink in my direction and I drank it. Then I drank another, and another and another. Emeraldearth, you know what I am talking about when I say one drink leads to a bunch more. We drink, that’s what we do.

There is a way out, actually there may be a few ways out, but most of us chose to bury our feelings in the bottle or the pipe rather than face the reality of our existence. In short, most of us never stop drinking. We drink literally until we can not drink any more.

Some of the luckier ones get killed in auto accidents or bar fights or some other drunken mishap. But most of us just go drinking until we have thrown away our boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands/wives, homes, our children and our health.

Look around where you live. Look behind the garbage cans, down the alleys, you will see them. The unlucky ones. The ones who are taking that alcoholic elevator all the way down.

You can get off it at any floor emeraldearth. But living with alcohol being consumed all around you every day is about the hardest way to go about it.

The best help I can offer you is alcoholics anonymous. Find a woman who has been sober for a while and stick close to her. Find out how she did this almost impossible feat.

And remember, you only need to change one thing about yourself, and that is everything.

Richard

that is great advise richard. You said it all perfectly.

Read allen carrs "easy way to control drinking". You will not be tempted to drink again. You will be able to hang around other drinkers as well.

Big claims I know, just read the book.

It can't be too difficult find the help you need..

i can't understand how you say it can't be difficult. It makes me wonder if you have ever had a problem at all, whether alcoholism or other wise. Any addiction is "difficult" to over come. No matter what the addiction may be, and there are some addictions out there that have nothing to do with substances (but I guess that would be in another forum). And help is not always easy to get. I know its out there, but, it is easier said than done. I am an alcoholic and no matter how much I want to stop I can't help but buy it. Then after I buy it I tell myself I wont drink it all (you know, cut down) and after just one shot i'm in it all the way and wishing for more. I'm not much for the "aa" thing because of an anxiety thing but I really wish I could. Just venting, sorry.

Ejroot…

welcome to the forum. I also was taken by the simplistic message that it can’t be too difficult to find the help one might be looking for. It is often quite the opposite. This disease is very difficult to treat. Recovery options are more available than they used to be, but recovery rates still are very low.

We start out the day telling ourselves, today will be different, i’m not going to get drunk today, but we almost always find an excuse for just one. And like you said. After one drink, we are in it all the way. Ejroot, I understand what is going on in your life very well. It was that way for me as well.

I am an alcoholic.

There are two things I believe about this disease.

#1 it only gets worse with time, alcoholism over any appeasable length of time only gets worse, it never seems to get better on it’s own.

& #2 there are thousands, hundreds of thousands no, millions of alcoholics just like you that aren’t drinking today. There is a way out.

And that is good news

your friend on this ling strange trip
richard

Seriously, read the book. It does not have to be hard to control or quit drinking. It was and is not hard for me to give up drinking. Actually, it was enjoyable.

If it does not work, you have lost nothing. But what if I am right, and the book helps you? What then?

I hate the way i feel after i have been drunking. I imbarres m I act like a dickhead, i treat others bably, i abuse people. I am nothing like this when sober. i hate myself for it.

I want to stop drinking im not addicked but it part of my life.

Baddrunk, before someone states the simple, but uneducated question, why don’t you just stop, let me say hello.

My name is Richard and I remember coming to in the morning and saying to myself, “You a##hole, you did it again! You told people that it was going to be different this time, but you went and got wasted anyway.

I could not stand myself. I had bulls###ed everybody that would listen to me so many times that I had lost count. I was a failure as a father, a failure as a husband, and a failure as a man. And I couldn’t stop drinking. And I hated myself for it.

Oh, I could go for a day or two, but I could never make the decision stick. I was a hopeless, helpless drunk.

I showed up in my first AA meeting, and some guy asked me if I ever said to myself, Oh. You turd! I guess my look gave me away. One of the most important think I ever heard in a meeting I heard that day. He said, “The good news is you never have to feel that way about yourself again.”

Baddrunk, our relationship with alcohol is a strong one, it will not let us go easily. But there is a way out. Do whatever you think you need to do, just remember Alcoholics Anonymous is the last house on the block for drunks like me.

Richard

what if you live somewhere that does not offer aa.
There are places that do not have an aa system in place... and i ma a seriously bad drunk, its a serious jeckle and hyde thing, and im even scared of myself.. Everytime i say im not gonna drink or have just one, it turns into utter debauchery and more often than not i get a call the next day from someone telling me how horrible i was to them. This anger comes over me and i dont even know where it comes from.. i just know that if i dont stop it will ruin everything in my life

what if you live somewhere that does not offer aa.
There are places that do not have an aa system in place... and i ma a seriously bad drunk, its a serious jeckle and hyde thing, and im even scared of myself.. Everytime i say im not gonna drink or have just one, it turns into utter debauchery and more often than not i get a call the next day from someone telling me how horrible i was to them. This anger comes over me and i dont even know where it comes from.. i just know that if i dont stop it will ruin everything in my life

Find your nearest AA meeting and get to it any way you can: by car, train or bus. Call AA; you can find the number in the telephone book or online. Someone will help you get to a meeting.

I'm the exact same age and social circumstances as you except I'm studying at university and you experiences as so very similar to mine.

When out with friends I am sociable, fun loving and enjoy as many drinks as they do BUT as soon as I got home it was like I was a woman possessed, screaming, crying, inflicting pain, goading my boyfriend and some times talking complete gibberish!

My lovely boyfriend put up with it time and time again, trying to talk through what might be the problem, what he could do to help and so on.

Every single social get together or celebration over the past 3 years, barr one or two, has been marred by me going psycho at the end of the night. My boyfriend got to the point where he could spot all the early warning signs that it was going to happen and it would ruin his night completely.

Well this past weekend was just one too many and we split up. he had to call the police and then my dad because he was so scared by my behaviour. I slapped and scratched him and said all kinds of god awful things about what I was going to do when I left for collage with different boys. I realise now that every time it happened I killed out relationship and his love for me a little more.

I think the behaviour only comes out with that person because you love them so much. there must be some underlying insecurity�s or worries that you have about him/the relationship. I honestly have no idea WHY they come out as vicious as they do. its something that I cant even answer after three years. it isn't an addiction but that�s not to say its not as serious. its a serious lack of control or ability to stop. I often found I was completely fine and then the drunken rage would just engulf me, and I wouldn't remember how or why the next day.

But your fella is gonna want reasons and empty promises are so easily broken unless you make big changes.

I�m not sure how I can help other than to say that I was were you are about 2 years ago and unless you do something very serious to control your behaviour in a year or so your gonna be sat here like me realising you spoilt the best thing that happened to you because you just couldn't go the night with out one drink.

Hello AngryDrunk,
If you live someplace where there are no AA meetings contact AA World Services online - there are many AA loners in the world, people who stay sober and can work a program that gives them back their lives - with little or no actual contact with other alcoholics. Some live in remote areas, some are shut-ins. Others are at sea for long stretches of time. But there is a solution for no meetings. There are people who are willing to be pen pals, there are online meetings there are books and cds and all sorts of other assistance available. There's even a monthly magazine. Go to this address: http://www.aa.org There's help and hope there.

Hedwig

I rang AA and they said they would get a local rep to contact me. I came home to find a message from my 19 year old son to say AA had rung and I should ring whoever! So much for privacy and confidentiality!

When I went to AA I was seated in a room and no one explained to what would happen. I was interested to hear everyone around the room give account of their experience with alcohol. Then suddenly the limelight turned on me without warning and everyone waited for me to give an account of myself. I froze! My problem with alcohol arouse out of shyness and a total inability to speak in front of people! Suddenly I was put in the situation I most feared. No one stepped forward to help. Apparently you have to attend for several sessions until you make a friend and someone offers to be your sponsor and help you. I just couldn't face going back I was so embarrassed. How is this organisation any help???? My whole problem is shyness. I needed individual help from the moment I went in the door.

I am exactly like this ask my boyfriend lol im fine when im out most of the time (There have been incidents)but when i get home im a raging bull and i wont stop! ive always been the same its a problem for me if im not crying about something that may have happened last year!im screaming screaming about it.I still have this problem but the last time i went out i had a great time! and all i can say is i went out that night with the mind set that i would not get drunk i was drinking (I had a few drinks but never at any point felt drunk because i would let myself but i was holding back a little too)When your out spend more time dancing than drinking so that when you get home your merry but not drunk so even if you have another 3 drinks your still going to be drunk but not legless.The only way to overcome this is to not get drunk still drink but alot slower.