Pregnancy Community Chat Forum - Money Troubles.. =( (same As Teen Preg Forum)

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Q: Money Troubles.. =( (same As Teen Preg Forum)

asked by: Zanny on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

Ok so I haven't got a job, and i'm living at home at the moment.. But I dunno how much longer that's gunna last. I live in the middle of nowhere and I depend on my parents or my brother for transport. This is a problem for me trying to get a job, coz they're unwilling to drive me anywhere on a regular basis. The buses round here come like once every 3 hours and I haven't got the money for public transport anyway.

My parents stopped my allowance when I left college, and said they won't give me any more money til I get a job.. And i've already explained the problem with that.

My boyfriend lives far away from me, and only earns enough for him to live off so I can't depend on him for money. Most of my friends are off to uni soon and will live in student accommodation, so they're sorted, and some of my friends are quite well off so can afford big fancy apartments.. This is really getting to me, because they just don't understand how miserable I get when I talk about it to them.

The only advice I get from them is "get a job" and i've tried explaining how hard that is.. The only thing I can think of doing is selling my stuff.. I have an apple mac laptop which I only got in may, and I reckon I could get about £700 for it... And I have a car (i can't drive yet but it was a present from my parents) which I could get a couple of hundred pounds for.. That won't be enough for the baby, but it's a start.

I'm dreading my dad finding out i'm pregnant, i'm sure i'll get kicked out of my house.. Which leaves me with no options at all.

I just dunno what to do =(

Replies(29)

jaime_elms

replied on June 28th, 2006

Experienced User

You say that u dont have anymoney. Yet u have a car?? Why dont u pass ur driving test and then u can get a job??? A baby is going to cost alot of money. How far along are you?

Zanny

replied on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

My parents bought me the car last year, it's an "ebay bargain" according to my dad.. And I really don't have any money at all. I can't pass my test, coz the driving lessons cost money.. My parents were paying for them, but now they refuse to. I'm 17 weeks now.

jaime_elms

replied on June 28th, 2006

Experienced User

Sorry to here that hun, I mean when you have the baby. Thing will be diffrent I mean you will get help. I know they offerd me help, and a house,. But I didnt continue my pregnancy. Have u explained to your parents if they maybe payed for your driving lessons you could get a job and maybe pay them back

Zanny

replied on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

Yeah I explained that to them.. But there's a slight problem, i've only had about 5 lessons so far, and I wouldn't pass my driving test til about september anyway.. Which doesn't give me a lot of time to earn money before the baby comes.

jaime_elms

replied on June 28th, 2006

Experienced User

Oh. I know u can do intensive course where u can sometimes pass in 2-3 weeks.. But there expensive. I dont know, I dont wanna be mean. But if u have no money and no one is helpping you, do you think its the right time for you to have this baby? Not been mean at all its jus a question.

Zanny

replied on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

I really did consider an abortion, and adoption.. But I created this child with the guy I love, and I can't give it up. If that's irresponsible of me, then so be it.. But I want this baby more than anything.

Sunflower_pie81

replied on June 28th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

First of all, you have to take driving lessons before you can take your driving test?

Second if you have a boyfriend that is willing to be there for you and the baby don't you think that he would do all he could to maybe get a 2nd job to help you? Does he realize what you are going thru right now?

Third your going to have to tell your dad at some point or another. If you dont' do it soon you are going to start showing and you aren't going to be able to hide it from him or a potental employer. Maybe your fears of him kicking you out aren't true and he might be willing to help you out in getting you a job and taking you to and from and helping you get your test done so that you can get to and from work.

Emma2

replied on June 28th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Wow, youre in a serious jam here! How do you intend on provding food, clothing and the necessary things for the child? Why dn't you go an live with your boyfriend? I mean, you say you love him and all but why isnt he doing more to help his girl and baby?

Zanny

replied on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

Yeah I have to have lessons.. I could do a 2 week driving course but my parents won't let me.

My boyfriend already works very hard, from about 7am-5pm.. And already complains about the lack of sleep he gets.. So I doubt he'd be willing to get a second job. He loves me, and he's gunna save up as much money as he can for when the baby comes.. But I still don't think it'll be enough.

I hope my dad is more understanding than i'm expecting him to be.. I just can't seem to pluck up the courage to talk to him about it.

Zanny

replied on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

emma2 wrote:

wow, youre in a serious jam here! How do you intend on provding food, clothing and the necessary things for the child? Why dn't you go an live with your boyfriend? I mean, you say you love him and all but why isnt he doing more to help his girl and baby?

i don't know.. That's the problem.. I can't live with him coz he lives with his mum and his sister, and there wouldn't be enough room for me and the baby.. He says he might get a pay-rise soon, and he'll give me as much money as he possibly can for the baby.. I just don't know how much it'll be.

Emma2

replied on June 28th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

zanyzanny wrote:

yeah I have to have lessons.. I could do a 2 week driving course but my parents won't let me.

My boyfriend already works very hard, from about 7am-5pm.. And already complains about the lack of sleep he gets.. So I doubt he'd be willing to get a second job. He loves me, and he's gunna save up as much money as he can for when the baby comes.. But I still don't think it'll be enough.

I hope my dad is more understanding than i'm expecting him to be.. I just can't seem to pluck up the courage to talk to him about it.

ok but you havent answered the question. Why dont you move with him? Of course his job wont be enough...You should really think about this hard and long and ensure your parents are able to support you. This is no joke and its pretty scary what youve got yourself into. Talk to your father asap!

Zanny

replied on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

I explained in my other post, relating to your question.

I know this isn't a joke, it's a very serious issue which is causing me to be depressed, and that can't be good for my baby.

Kia

replied on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

Answered a lot on your other post hon.

I'd just like to point out that in the uk you get hit heavily on taxes if you take on a second job after a full time job - you get penalised basically for working over 39 hours per week (some of it depends on the type of work you do) but the idea is that this cuts back on un-employment in this country by limiting the hours people work so more people can work - if you can follow that and make sense of it lol.

Also you need to ask your doctor (you might have to go to the jobcenter/social security office), you will need to fill in some forms to claim your statutory maternity pay (about £100 a week - I think but don't quote me).

At the same time you can get forms to apply for housing, you just need to state that once the baby is born you will have over-crowding in your house, parents, brother, self, baby.

You won't get anything flashy but they are obliged to accomodate you.

Emma2

replied on June 28th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

zanyzanny wrote:

i explained in my other post, relating to your question.

I know this isn't a joke, it's a very serious issue which is causing me to be depressed, and that can't be good for my baby.

oh sorry did not see it. There is no room but this his is baby and hes going to have to make sure everything ets resovled. Your mom is a tad harsh isnt she?

Zanny

replied on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

kia_breizzze wrote:

also you need to ask your doctor (you might have to go to the jobcenter/social security office), you will need to fill in some forms to claim your statutory maternity pay (about £100 a week - I think but don't quote me).

At the same time you can get forms to apply for housing, you just need to state that once the baby is born you will have over-crowding in your house, parents, brother, self, baby.

You won't get anything flashy but they are obliged to accomodate you.

oh I didn't know about the housing thing.. I did research the maternity pay, and you're only eligible to receive it if you've been paying taxes for at least two years... I think, that's what it said in a pregnancy book I have anyway.

About the housing, I live in a 5 bedroom house at the moment, so technically there would be room for the baby here.. It's just my parents not allowing it.. Would I still be able to claim it's over-crowded?

Zanny

replied on June 28th, 2006

Supporter

emma2 wrote:

zanyzanny wrote:

i explained in my other post, relating to your question.

I know this isn't a joke, it's a very serious issue which is causing me to be depressed, and that can't be good for my baby.

oh sorry did not see it. There is no room but this his is baby and hes going to have to make sure everything ets resovled. Your mom is a tad harsh isnt she?

yeah she is, but she's always been very old-fashioned. She's very disappointed that i'm keeping the baby.. I hope she comes round to the idea soon! =(

jaime_elms

replied on June 28th, 2006

Experienced User

I totally understand hun! :d ..

zanyzanny wrote:

i really did consider an abortion, and adoption.. But I created this child with the guy I love, and I can't give it up. If that's irresponsible of me, then so be it.. But I want this baby more than anything.

jaime_elms

replied on June 28th, 2006

Experienced User

You should have really looked into all this as soon as you found out you where pregnant! U need to fill out a form at the housing place. Jus say ur parents wont allow u to stay at home, and they should get a house or flat. But can take up to 18months. But seen as ur pregnant and alone, they may take less time. U need to fill out a form. And alos u get a grant when u reach a certain stage of pregnancy, think its 500pound to get baby things...
Also mothercare do a thing on there website u can buy things think thats also up too 500pound. And u pay back after 6months. Its like a loan but any pregnant lady can have it. U buy things like prams and things
its called 'nursery plan' its a flexible plan.
Hope all this helps you.

"zanyzanny"]

kia_breizzze wrote:

candita_sky

replied on June 28th, 2006

Advanced Support Team

Oh hun I am so sorry that you are going thru something like this. I too had a similar prob when I was preg w/1st child. I was 23 and still at home didnt tell my mom till I was about 5mt along and 6 when my mom ( I begged her to tell him ) told my dad. He didnt want to look at me for over a week. But when my daughter was born he took one look at her and they are best buds unseperatable :d by bf didnt want anything to do with me or baby so I wasnt getting help from him but I did it on my own. But things are much diff here they have public aid and link card which is used to by food wic for formula and public housing if you qualify. Why dont you two get married or can you? Sorry so long here. I do hope all will go good for you. If you were here id let you move here for a while. I would think that your parents would pay for lessons so you could drive and get a job.That would make better sense.

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