I have a loving girlfriend who tends to fall into bouts of depression about her job, how she looks, how she thinks her parents view her, how she thinks others view her and its kinda rough.
On the other hand I am often depressed or concerned over the fact that she is much better (or at least better off) than I am because:
1)her family is much more wealthy than mine
2)she went to a much more prestigious college than me
3)just found out she makes more than me at her job
4)shes had more sex and relationships whereas I had practically none and this makes me feel inadequate or lame and naive.
5) I was a virgin before meeting her and worry that ive missed out on a lot of experiences because I didnt just dive in in the past.
6) my car is a piece of crap
7) I had little self esteem in the past, which was boosted by having her as a girlfriend, but now it starting to decrease because I feel irresponsible or stupid since shes younger and has a better paying job.
I have crazy mood swings concerning these items, whereas she has mood swings based on the things that bother her.
Im just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this at all. I feel like I am constantly embarrassing myself any time I give her info, like when I told her I was a virgin, when I told her I only hooked up with a handful of people, when I told her my salary, etc etc etc.
Im 29 years old, I feel really naive and dumb sometimes, even though im more intelligent and caring than almost everyone I deal with I still feel that im lacking certain info that other people take for granted. Its wierd.
It sounds like the way you are thinking or processing your thoughts is what is getting you down. I have always struggled with my thoughts but now that I have leanred to use the tea form to counter them in my cbt group I am feeling so much better. You may want to join a cbt group and learn how to counter your thoughts that are causing your pain and teariung at your self esteem.