Teen Pregnancy Forum - Who Is the Dad?

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Q: Who Is the Dad?

asked by: lilsexygirl on June 27th, 2006

New User

Hey im only 16 and I found out I was pregnant june 19th but I dont remember when the last time I had my period I cant remember when but I think it was in the first half of may. I had sex with my bf june 2, 3, 5, and 16 and we used a condom every single time. Then I had sex wit my ex june 6 but it was less than a minute cuz we stopped cuz we didnt use protectionbut he didnt cum. I told my bf that im pregnant but he doesnt kno about the other guy n I told the other guy I am n that it might b his or my bf's. My bf said he doesnt want it n wudnt talk 2 me if I keep it but my ex said he wud. So I really hope its my boyfriends cuz my ex is like a crackhead so I dont want him to b my babbys dad. And I kno my bf will come around when I have the baby cuz I am keeping it. I have been wantin to tell my mom that im pregnant cuz I want to go to the doctors but iv been tryin to tell her but its too hard n I dont kno how to tell her so if any1 can give me advice plz I wud appreciate it. And plz dont think im a prostitute im not! Lol thnx

Replies(21)

Lalee

replied on June 27th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

I might be wrong here, but, unfortunately, unless they tell you by ultrasound that you conceived on the 15, you can't really know unless you do a pat test. Having sex with two different guys a day apart isn't enough of a gap to tell, as it's not like you have sex, he cumms and you're automatically pregnant right that second. It takes time.

If it is your ex's and he is unfit to be a father to a child (you don't have to marry him or anything), you can always try just for child support. Just remember he has rights, too, and you'd have to prove he was unfit.

Melissa_20

replied on June 27th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Why did you have sex with your x the day after you had sex with your b/f? (its only a question)there is obviously a chance that it can be either of them and more so with the x cause you didn't use any protection.If I were you and you don't want you bf to find out,i would get a blood test with the x when the baby is born since he already knows you had sex with someone else.If it comes back postive I guess you lost your bf! If its negative your bf has some responsibility now : )

Jen UH biOtch

replied on June 27th, 2006

Experienced User

Mel... Everyone has sex with their ex.. Blah blah blah thats always the story... Any ways.. Im not being mean tho sweety.. I have friends who have been in your position and I poked fun at them to just to make light of the situation... I dont think any of us on this forum are dna test... So the best thing you could do is wait ... Be honest with both guys who could be the father and tell them it could be either one of them and then do a dna test when the baby is born.
If your low on money... Go to maury... Lol he needs some fresh meat on his shows... There all re-runs.. Lol
but I wish the best to you and your situation.... Good luck and I hope it all works out !!!

lilsexygirl

replied on June 27th, 2006

New User

I dont know y I had sex with my ex I think because my bf was trying to have sex with 1 of my reallly good friends and I was realllly mad so I did. But I shouldnt have done that. Well I think that im going to just get a dna test with my ex first and if its not him then ill know its my bf.

Mabel

replied on June 27th, 2006

Moderator

I agree! Be honest. You cannot with any justification let your bf think it is without a doubt his baby when you know there is plenty of doubt. It would be really unfair for him to go through your entire pregnancy and child birth thinking this baby is his when he may find out one day it isn't.

Not an very good way to keep him in your life. And it would be awfully painful for all of you (baby included).

Tell him upfront. If you are being honest with the ex, be honest with the boyfriend. It will make everything easier in the end.

Good luck.

Ps. It is highly unlikely you 'got pregnant' on the 16th since you tested positive on the 19th.

Melissa_20

replied on June 27th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

jen uh biotch wrote:

mel... Everyone has sex with their ex..

not when they are with someone else. : )

wel if your man wanted to have sex with one of our friends,i highly doubt he is worth being the father of your baby.It sounds like you got yourself in between a cheater and a crackhead. . .How about you tell each of them the baby is the others and you can get out of the whole loser streak and go fond a good man and daddy material for the baby!

lilsexygirl

replied on June 27th, 2006

New User

Thanx evry1... Well im not even talking to my bf right now and im about to break up with him because he doesnt want me to keep the baby and I am so hes mad but I wud never get rid of it. 2morrow I am going to the doctors. Well my ex I dont know how to describe him, he just sells drugs so I dont want to talk to him so I can find some body better than them. Every 1 says my bf will come around sometime but im not gonna wait for him forever and if he wants to be like that then im not gonna be wit him. I know I shouldnt of had sex w/ my ex so idk wut I was thinkin but its too late so it dont matter any more wut I did cuz it already happened. My boyfriend just got a job at where I work so now im goin to have to see him a lot even when we dont talk so its gonna be weird and I have to work with him today. But anyways im not worrying if I can take care of the baby because I know I can my family will help and I have a good paying job and my school has a daycare. But does anybody have any suggestions on how to tell my parents?

Melissa_20

replied on June 27th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

If your too scared you could write a letter but most parents would rather you come strait out and tell them face to face.How do you think thay will react?

HcoBrunette06

replied on June 27th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

If my boyfriend was trying to have sex with my best friend, you can bet your ass that he would be out the door. I wouldn't be sticking around and having more sex with him, I dont care how much you "love" him that's not love that's stupid.

Good luck =/

Lalee

replied on June 27th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

My advice; just tell them to their faces and get it overwith. That's pretty much what I did. My parents were ticked off at first, but they got over it... 99.9% of the time, all parents do.

Good luck and be strong!

lilsexygirl

replied on June 27th, 2006

New User

I think that I am goin to tell my mom that im preg tomorrow after I go to the doctors but I dont think shes going to be as mad as my stepdad I dont think shell even be that mad she will probly jus be dissapointed but she will get over it.
Yeah im not even talking to him anymore so I dont want to be with him now cuz I realized I dont need him I have a lot of other people that will help me cuz I know he wont he said he wudnt take care of the baby when I have it. But im still going to have to see him @ work but oh well.

Melissa_20

replied on June 27th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

lilsexygirl wrote:

he wont he said he wudnt take care of the baby when I have it. But im still going to have to see him @ work but oh well.

its called child support! He has to pay money of the child is proven to be his unless he signs away his rights

HcoBrunette06

replied on June 27th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Well good im glad =) itll be "weird" seeing him at work but at least you're out of the relationship with him.

lilsexygirl

replied on June 27th, 2006

New User

Yea he said he wudnt do n e thing to help except pay child support. Hes saying that he has too much going on in his life. He acts like I dont but it takes 2 to make a baby n he acts like its just my fault. But oh well im happy now because I can find sum 1 better then him.

Melissa_20

replied on June 27th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

And you get a little one.Its not easy to care for them though,they are lots of work!

Mabel

replied on June 27th, 2006

Moderator

lilsexygirl wrote:

i think that I am goin to tell my mom that im preg tomorrow after I go to the doctors but I dont think shes going to be as mad as my stepdad I dont think shell even be that mad she will probly jus be dissapointed but she will get over it.
Yeah im not even talking to him anymore so I dont want to be with him now cuz I realized I dont need him I have a lot of other people that will help me cuz I know he wont he said he wudnt take care of the baby when I have it. But im still going to have to see him @ work but oh well.

i have to comment on the advice you are getting that your boyfriend will 'come around'. Why on earth would he? No one even knows if he is the father. I certainly can say I wouldn't want to 'come around' to that notion.

That isn't meant to be a slam on you, it is merely the honest truth. He isn't going to come around, there is far too much drama surrounding this pregnancy.

And, I got news for you and who ever the father of your baby is, child support isn't a 'choice' as to whether or not he'll pay it. You go to court and he pays it whether he chooses to or not. It will get yanked directly out of his paycheck before he has a chance to make a choice whether he is going to pay it this month or not.

You are right, it does take 2 to make a baby. But in this case, it took 3 people to make your baby and you need to be aware that there is a high probability that it belongs to your ex and you will be stuck with him the rest of your life now.

People think that if you have a child and just don't put the father on the birth certificate then you are done with that person. You aren't. You carry that person inside of you for 9 months. You bathe, feed, clothe and tend to that person for 18 years! You are never 'rid' of the father of your baby, regardless of anything - because whenever you look at your child, there he is. Every. Single. Time.

It is worse when they have visitation and you also have to see them and be involved with them for 18 years, every birthday, .Christmas, school event, major life decisions, graduations, marriages, grandchildren (although this is obviously much later!), etc. You are never, ever rid of the father of your child.

True, you can find someone 'better' - but that person now has to be willing to become an 'instant' daddy. Those men are few and far between. Concentrate on you. Concentrate on graduating high school. Concentrate on getting through the next 9 months of pregnancy. Concentrate on growing up. Men will be around the whole rest of your life. You have enough to deal with right now.

Good luck!

lilsexygirl

replied on June 27th, 2006

New User

And I dont think that every 1 is going to buy me things. Im the one going to be buying things. I said people will support me. And im not looking at a "little kids" view ever since I found out I was pregnant, I think I look at everything a lot different. Things have changed already.

lil_blaze2004

replied on June 27th, 2006

Supporter

Sorry, I always find it funny that girls can't remember their period days but can always remember the exact days they had sex.

Anyhoo, a paternity test will be your only option unless they're diff races or somethign.

Kia

replied on June 27th, 2006

Supporter

Lol jess when I was a wee lass of 13 the only thing I used to write in my diary was the days I had sex, because back then that was all that mattered - getting laid.

Although, i've never had sex with an ex or accidentally forgot to use protection...

To the original poster, because you had sex with 2 different guys so close together, the only way to tell 100% is by a paternity test, unless as jess suggested they are different race or something.

Although there is a higher chance of your ex being the sperm donor due to the fact you didn't use a condom/birth control - it doesn't matter that he didn't ejaculate.

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