i am a virgin at 30. I was never in a long term relationship due to colitis which keeps me from socializing. I want a baby in the worst way. I am thinking of having artificial insemenation through a donor. What are some of your views on that? Am I being selfish? Also, what if I never even get to have sex, how am I going to feel once my child is a teenager? What do you think? Should I worry about these things?
Whether you have the baby by sexual intercourse or by artificial insemination doesn't matter............The point is the baby is very much wanted and loved.........That's all that is needed for a child to grow up happy.
I'd worry more about the colitis..............Pregnancy can do quite a number on your body.
Yes I know the colitis will be an issue for me, but I guess I will have to figure that out when the time comes.
Right now I am thinking and focusing about how the child would feel about all of this when it is growing up. Also, how I am going to feel, if I never even get in a serious relationship. What will my child think of me.
I want a relationship with a man but with the colitis, it does not seem like that will happen, so I am just trying to go about my life in case a relationship does not happen for me.
If you love the child unconditionally(even thru the teen years :roll: ), this child will grow up a well adjusted person......Knowing that their mom wanted them so badly that they went through all that just to get them.
Explore alternative methods to get the colitis under control.....Don't know what you've done so far..............Just saying docs don't know everything and tend suggest only medicines and perhaps a slight change in diet. More drastic measures should be considered.....Perhaps a full allergy test, by a reliable lab to rid yourself of the major culprits that set you off would be a good first start.
Actually pregnancy can be great for colitis. My cousin suffers serious chrown disease and all her bowel problems due to chrown completetly dissapears every time she is being pregnant. When you are pregnant the body releases hormones that relaxes the bowel that's why many women have constipation during pregnancy.
I would suggest to go to chat rooms of people that suffer colitis or meetings in your town for people who suffer colitis and maybe who knows you might meet someone. I don't think having colitis is any obstacle to find a man but maybe that would make you feel more comfortable?
Regarding the pregnancy through donor well do more research. Does it requires that you have a husband? How much does it cost? Can you afford? What does your family think? I know that at 30 you feel urge to having a child, I know I did at 30 (i am 33 now and still don't have children and badly want one). So hey you know if you can afford and you will get the support, at least america is a free country.
I have ibs and im feeling you I found that by emitting caffeine and fried food from my diet plus eating bananas(which actually constipate you) work.
I see nothing wrong with haveing a kid I think everyone should have that joy if they can put 100% into that child. Although I have ibs I used to live in the washroom and couldnt attend work/didnt have alot but I made the best out of it im married with two kids and yes pregnancy did help!!!
I don't know how exactly colitis would keep you from socializing since I just quickly read up on it. But would that affect your child from not being able to socialize? Which is important for a child's development. And I wonder how well or bad children can do without father figures in their lives. Think about the child before yourself. A child never asks to be in this world. It's only nature for you or any woman to want to have a baby at some point. But I say really think about what situations the child may be in, and if you really would want your child to go through that? And maybe later blame you for everything. If you think your child can have a life as any other child from any other mother can, then go ahead and have a baby if you wish. But be careful.
i don't know how exactly colitis would keep you from socializing since I just quickly read up on it.
I also don't know how this would affect your social life but I do not agree o the fact that the child would blame her for anything.Who knows,she may get a man aftrer her chilsd is born.Its just the same as if a woman gets pregnany by intercourse and the man leaves her due to it.It wasn't the mothers fault and I don't know anyone who blames their mother for nat having a father unless the mom drove them away.
I think it would be fine and perfectly healthy for you to have a child with or without a father.There are many women in todays society who are doing it all alone and had some help in the creation of that child.Hope you get what you want hun!