I do not think you are selfish for wanting a baby (who would?) but I would give very serious consideration as to _why_ you want a baby. Many single girls and women i've counseled have wanted a child so that 1. They would have someone to love and 2. Someone would love them back. While I can't blame them or anyone for it, it is not sound reasoning. It is also unusual that someone in their 30's has not had sex yet. I understand you have colitis, and it's a terrible condition to have no doubt, but people overcome much worse obstacles and have successful sex lives. I would suggest that before you do the artifical insemination that you seek professional counseling, not just for you, but for any future children. A counselor could provide you with better feedback about your other questions as well.

Also, have you thought about foster care or adoption?

The reason why I am still a virgin is because I have not been in a relationship because I won't let myself get out and socialize due to the colitis. I cannot even handle the symptoms of bloating and gas on my own let alone have someone around me all day. It is very hard thing to deal with. I have been to a psychologist who did tell me that I am a very smart person and she realized all of my problems were really due to my health condition. She really did not think I needed to keep going to see her.
I have thought about adoption but I really do want a baby of my own. I have always wanted a child of my own. I know I would be a wonderful parent. I know it would just come naturally for me. That is one thing in life that I know would be easy for me and of course a little scary but I know that is normal.

i understand that colitis causes terrible problems, and it sounds like you have had your share.

If you lack any social life, how is that going to effect the child? Life experiences help raise children. And, it takes a village. Did you tell your psychologist that you want to bring a baby into the world?

You did not answer _why_ you want a child. Is it b/c it would be the one thing in life that would be easy for you? To validate your existence?

Don't get me wrong-i'm not personally attacking you. I'm hoping to help you have a better understanding of yourself, and why you want a child to benefit both you and your future children. Only love from me!

Don't get me wrong, I am not a hermit or anything. I spend time with family members, I go out on weekends with extended family members, etc.
I know I can give a child a great life. I have a great family, great morals, etc. Of course, I want a child I could love there is no doubt about it. I feel why is it just because I may not be able to be in a relationship with someone due to my colitis because it does hold me back and it will hold the other person back, why must I not be entitled to have a child. I do have people in my life that would help me, so it is not like the child will end up messed up or like a hermit. Basically, the above is not what worries me.
What does worry me is my own insecurities about my colitis and that it holds me back.

Hello. I am sorry to hear about your issue, but there is someone out there for you. Artificial insemination, is a choice, but did you read the article on aol about how some sperm donors aren't telling their whole medical history and their children are being brn with things such as autism? If you choose to do it, just do your research.

No, I did not read that article. Could you send me the link for that if you have it?

I think you're absolutely normal for wanting to have a baby and I would say go for it. The bottom line is, you might never have a sexual relationship and if you wait too long to have a baby then you might not be able to carry one of your own.

I really hope you do find yourself a lovely man whom you can love and be loved by, despite your illness, but if that doesn't happen, then at least you won't have been denied the chance to become a mum.

I know this is an old post but if you still visit this forum, I just wanna say if colitis holds you back in your own day to day life, it will surely hold u back in a parenting way. Even if u have family members to help you, that might change in the future, then what if u cant cope by yourself? Unless u feel you would be upto going out every day taking your child to school every morning, picking them up every afternoon, taking them to doctors, dentists, hospital appointments, shopping trips when they get older, out to the cinema, ice skating, holidays etc etc, if u cant cope doing those normal parenting things, it isnt fair on the child. They will resent you even if they understand u have health issues, because its always like 'but mom u could have tried harder, u could have made my sports day at school like all the oher kids moms did' that upsets kids and they get angry.

Another thing is what if you pass your condition onto your child? I dunno if it runs in families, but u should check. In that case its totally selfish to get pregnant and put someone else through having that illness, when you could foster or adopt instead, and still be a mom to someone who needs/loves u. Thats my opinion anyway.

i think it is a great idea looking into sperm donation. i was a bit like medical problems holding you back so i looked in to sperm donor and i found a great sperm donor who is very understanding. i hope you get the baby you really would love to have i know what itis like to want something but get out they and get
good luck hope you get the baby.