I don't know if I am posting this in the correct forum or not. Anyway, I am a 55 year old woman, married 35 years. I find myself with a dilemma that seems to be affecting more and more marriages these days, based on research I have done on the net. My husband, the man I love with all my heart, is viewing internet porn. I discovered this quite by accident about a year ago. I confronted him about it, I was angry that it seemed to be a secret he was keeping. He said he was embarrassed, that's about all. He did suggest that I "get some help" with "my" problem with it. He has always found it difficult to discuss any emotional issues. I hate to admit it, but he is a bit of a coward when it comes to anything emotional between us. So rather than keep harping about it, I wrote all about how it made me feel in my journal over a period of several months. Then I suggested that he read my journal when he was on a business trip and maybe he could understand how I felt. When he came back from his trip he said he was so sorry for what he had done and now understood how awful it had made me feel. I felt relief, problem solved. But during the same trip, I used the net to do research on this and found that very rarely does the porn watcher stop just because the mate requests it. "what she doesn't know can't hurt her." sort of thinking. I put monitoring software on the computer and "surprise" he didn't even slow down. I have been monitoring ever since; he doesn't know. I told myself that I would only work with the info I found to try and re-establish the intimacy between us. But folks, there is no way this menopausal body can compete with what he sees on the computer screen. I feel like every time we make love, he is imagining the images he has viewed on the computer. I'm scared and watchful for any signs that the porn images will soon stop being enough to arouse him and he will go farther and farther into what the internet has to offer, and I am finding out that it offers unlimited avenues. He has progressed from the hardcore porn movies with porn stars to amateur pictures and film clips and to webcams. So far he hasn't joined any of the sites, that I can tell anyway, just looked at what they use to lure a person in. When I found out, I told him that if he wanted to watch porn or thought that it would enhance our relationship then we could view it together, I was open to that, and he agreed, but he isn't interested at all in viewing it with me. My confidence in the sexual side of myself is being destroyed. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance for any advice.