Medical Questions > Relationships > Ending a Relationship Forum

Husband Refusing to Leave Marital Home

My husband has treated me badly for years and I have told him it is over and asked him to leave. However he refuses to accept that our relationship is over and has told me he has no intention of moving out! This situation is awful and our poor kids are in the middle. Can anyone give me advice ?
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied June 23rd, 2006
Experienced User
Often marriage is dragged out a little too long for various reasons.........Probably the top ones being....The kids and then finances. It's time to check out a lawyer.....They usually have a 1/2 hour or an hour free consultation. Bring all the financial documents you can think of. At the very least you'll see where you stand and be able to decide what you want to do for the future. Perhaps there's a possession is 9 10ths of the law in your location........Ie. It's more difficult for the person who leaves to come back into the home, if they should change their mind. If you don't own the home or very little is paid on it, it may be wise for you and the children to leave...........And you may have to leave to claim support....All this can be discussed with the lawyer............And if it doesn't sound right....Get a second opinion.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied August 3rd, 2006
Especially eHealthy
If he wont leave then you should.There is no reason why you should have to put up with his crap! Get a lawyer and they will settle it!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied August 3rd, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Call the cops and have him taken for harrassment, as well it is emotional abuse for your kids if he wont leave thena have him removed!!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 4th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Contact a laywer!

And also do call the cops and get him out with harrasment and mental and verbal abuse.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied August 4th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
The first thing you should do ..Is talk with him...--because seriously if he is a mean person is/has already treated you bad during this relationship how do you think he would take it if the cops showed up and got him out..If he is like most men ..He would probably get out in front of the cops and then when they arent around come back and cause more problems...Just a little thought...Because maybe another talk and letting all things come forward about your feelings...Then he might understand...If not then thats the time to think about other measures to take in order to get him out and away from you and the kids..

Other things you could do

stay with a friend
stay with family members..

The thing you need to worry most about are the kids...You dont want them to grow up around arguing and screaming...They will grow up doing the same and you dont want that..
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 5th, 2006
I Love the Way That Everyone Always Takes the Side of the Au
I love the way that everyone always takes the side of the author of the question...Now it appears to me that you are the one who is finished with the relationship and I am just a bit concerned as to how that translates into someone else having to move out unless you own the house or he is living with you. If you feel that he is too abusive to live with then you need to vote with your feet. The guys in these deals keep getting screwed over with 1/2 baked thinking like this ...I am no fan of abusers of either sex can only im again that if he's as bad as you say then why havent you ever called the police when he's doing his abusing and then gotten a restraining order against him ....I fear the answer is that you are making him out to be worse than he is so that everyone will take your side ...Hey it's his house too (as far as we know) so if you don't ike whats going on there then you need to leave ....Women make too many important decisions for men poorly already ...Like whether or not to have an abortion. It seems ridiiculous to me in this politically correct world that when a woman gets pregnant usually due to her own lack of preparation because guess what ..Men don't get pregnant...So she gets pregnant and then she decides weather or not the man will pay child support for 18 years or not based on her lack of contraception and if the man says to keep the baby and she says no then it's no ....But if he says abort and she says no then he gets to pay for the next 18 yrs to the person who screwed up in the first place?I think if the man says no abort it and the woman says she is going to keep it then the man pays nothing and if the ,man says keep it and the woman says abort then she can't abort with out consent
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied September 5th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Re: I Love the Way That Everyone Always Takes the Side of Th
divorcing wrote:
women make too many important decisions for men poorly already ...Like whether or not to have an abortion. It seems ridiiculous to me in this politically correct world that when a woman gets pregnant usually due to her own lack of preparation because guess what ..Men don't get pregnant...So she gets pregnant and then she decides weather or not the man will pay child support for 18 years or not based on her lack of contraception and if the man says to keep the baby and she says no then it's no ....But if he says abort and she says no then he gets to pay for the next 18 yrs to the person who screwed up in the first place?I think if the man says no abort it and the woman says she is going to keep it then the man pays nothing and if the ,man says keep it and the woman says abort then she can't abort with out consent

****************************************** **************

buddy it takes two to tango and hey a man can refuse to have sex if there is no b/c.....


My problem is people make choices in this world, some good and some bad so they both made a bad choice to have sex and well she got pregnant its not the womans fault .I.T.S .B.O.T.H. Condoms exist too.....

A woman didnt rape the guy did she, he fully consented then he is 100% resposible as well, common sex education, the only time you cant get pregnant is with abstinence (but yes it is a womans fault if she got preggo off the toilett seat :twisted:


i hate people who bash woman(sorry)
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 5th, 2006
Thats Great In Theory But Reality Says No
That is a great theory and it's certainly an idyllic comcept that the two people should share in the responsibility of contraception...I wish they all would ...Problem is with as many women killing their unborn children as we have today (thank god its going down) in the final analysis guess what?? Men don't get pregnant ! White people don't get sickel cell anemia, women don't get prostate cancer ...Life should be the way you describe it the only problem is that it isn't ..Life is unfair alot of the time and thats just the way it is...Because reality says only one thing ...Women get pregnant and men don't ...And therefore the ultimate and final responsibility rests with the person who will feel the impact of their decision the most ...It has nothing to do with bashing women and it has everything to do with looking not at what should be and responding to a fairy tale notion that isn't based on reality ...Its to look at whats real and act accordingly ..That doesn't mean we have to like it and it doesn't mean that we can't dedicate our lives to trying to change it but what it does mean is that we need to show it the proper respect because in the final analysis ...It's the only thing thats real
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 6th, 2006
Experienced User
Well.................your Right
Women ultimately have the greater responsibility.............Too often I see as i'm sure anyone who lives in a large city sees.................Young women pushing strollers with no man in sight.............Is he at work?..........Not likely...................Mostly likely off to greener pastures.
There's alot of things that aren't fair or right...........In particular sole responsibility for birth control.....................Not "putting out" too soon(although perfectly acceptable and expected of a man.............We all know what a woman will be called?)..............And finally the responsible parent(how often do we see single dads, unless the mother has been deemed incompetent mentally or drugwise?).

Also the point about taking the "authors" side.................True.......May have jumped the gun but all "we" know is one side.................And with limited information "i" tend to fill in the blanks with my own personal experiences. "she" mentioned that she had been "treated badly" which could be interpreted in many different ways...................Her motives may have been purely selfish but I guess we'll never know,eh? :)
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied September 28th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Re: Thats Great In Theory But Reality Says No
divorcing wrote:
that is a great theory and it's certainly an idyllic comcept that the two people should share in the responsibility of contraception...I wish they all would ...Problem is with as many women killing their unborn children as we have today (thank god its going down) in the final analysis guess what?? Men don't get pregnant ! White people don't get sickel cell anemia, women don't get prostate cancer ...Life should be the way you describe it the only problem is that it isn't ..Life is unfair alot of the time and thats just the way it is...Because reality says only one thing ...Women get pregnant and men don't ...And therefore the ultimate and final responsibility rests with the person who will feel the impact of their decision the most ...It has nothing to do with bashing women and it has everything to do with looking not at what should be and responding to a fairy tale notion that isn't based on reality ...Its to look at whats real and act accordingly ..That doesn't mean we have to like it and it doesn't mean that we can't dedicate our lives to trying to change it but what it does mean is that we need to show it the proper respect because in the final analysis ...It's the only thing thats real
ok,this womans post had nothing to do with being pregnant.She simply asked what she should do in her situation.Ssuming she is being truthful people answered her.If she is not telling the whole story whio is it really hurting? Well her in the end cause she wont get the proper answers she needs.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 28th, 2006
May be he really wants to be with you and doesn't know what to do too? Try to take a look on situation from another side and be wiser.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied September 28th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
repolo wrote:
may be he really wants to be with you and doesn't know what to do too? Try to take a look on situation from another side and be wiser.
umm well if he is being abuse,shouldn't *he* look at it from another point of view? I've been in that situation b4 and not once did I think to see things his way-the abusive way.If he wanted to be with her he wouldn't act the way he does.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 22nd, 2006
Re: Husband Refusing to Leave Marital Home
desperate36 wrote:
my husband has treated me badly for years and I have told him it is over and asked him to leave. However he refuses to accept that our relationship is over and has told me he has no intention of moving out! This situation is awful and our poor kids are in the middle. Can anyone give me advice ?

i'm not sure what the laws are where you are but in my situation I had 2 options .My wife found another man and is staying with him but refused to take her name off the lease to ensure she had access to the residence whenever she chose(she even brought her new boyfriend into our house)
you can get a restraining order if you have some grounds to work on(abuse,alcoholetc.) and here we have what is called an emergency protection order which takes effect immediatly until you can get the proper restraining order.
The system is a pain
best of luck
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied February 6th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
I have a question for divorcing..If what you say is true, and it is the woman's responsibility to use birth control because she is the one who can get pregnant, then doesn't she have the right to decide what to do with the unborn child? Remember, she can get pregnant, but you got her that way. When all is said and done, men, if you don't want to have children, and you are not perfectly sure of your partner being truthful, use a condom, or keep it in your pants! Sorry if protection gets in the way of your pleasure, but at least you won't have to pay for the rest of your life by being tied to a woman you would rather not be with because of a child.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied February 6th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
raven53 wrote:
i have a question for divorcing..If what you say is true, and it is the woman's responsibility to use birth control because she is the one who can get pregnant, then doesn't she have the right to decide what to do with the unborn child? Remember, she can get pregnant, but you got her that way. When all is said and done, men, if you don't want to have children, and you are not perfectly sure of your partner being truthful, use a condom, or keep it in your pants! Sorry if protection gets in the way of your pleasure, but at least you won't have to pay for the rest of your life by being tied to a woman you would rather not be with because of a child.


c'mon and join is over in the abortion debate forum. There are some really good threads on this topic.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Quick Reply