today has been one of those "days" for me....My specialist wants my mom to weigh me every week and call her with the results...Well my mom just weighed me(im not supposed to see the #s) and im now 108 1/2...I am absolutely disgusted right now...I feel fat and havent eaten a thing all day...Im also 10.3 weeks pregnant which I know is absolutely horrible because im denying my child the thing he/she needs to grow! It makes me sick, but at the same time I feel like I cant control it...Its taken over my life completely and I feel like I want to scream because im so unhappy right now. I feel like crawling into a corner and just crying...Im so angry right now, I know I have to stay strong but I dont know if I can. I didnt think 5lbs would be as hard to deal with as it is(was 103 last week). It feels like 20 and I am so incredibly tempted to just shut down and not put a thing in my mouth again...I suffer from ana and have just recently admitted to it, but it hasnt made the process any easier. I don't know what to do, i'm so disappointed in myself for looking the way I do right now....I just want to make it all go away!!!
Hunny.-. . . Please please eat.. Thats all I can say. U know im coping w/ the same issues.. But it can be done.. Remember, its not about you anymore, u just have to keep reminding yourself of that.. Weight gain I know is so hard to deal with but u know it will come off when u give birth to a hopefully healthy baby. . But u know if it doesnt get enough food it could have a lot of problems.. Being as young as you are, the last thing you need is a baby with complications. Aim for at least 1,600 cals. .And try to make them mostly healthy things that u feel more comfortable with. If you love this baby, and I know you do, you have to do it for the baby. This should be your motivator to get better and fast. You can do it... Remember, it doesnt matter about your gaining right now, because its not just gaining fat, its gaining baby..... I know its hard. .But u are strong and u can do it. . Basically what I had to do was completely forget about my hopes and fears. .Put them behind me and only think about the little miracle growing inside your belly, which is bound to grow too and its not your fault!!! Goodluck hun . .And please go feed your baby a good dinner ***