Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 76 Location: Connecticut, USA
Ranting And Raving About Teen Pregnancy Posted: 06-21-06 11:46am
I don't know who asked me, but when I said
"gay" I didn't mean it in the homosexual
way, just "gay" as in I used the word
wrong in that sentance. Why should it
matter..Lol.
And, I wasn't critisizing just her, most
of the women under the age of 16 I
was..Lol there is a difference. I know
there are ppl out there who can
afford/have the means to raise children at
a young age...
But what truly bothers me is that I am 20
yrs old, no kids, college education in the
works, I work hard for everything I have,
and I am still learning. Every day my
parents, friends, the news, boyfriend,
whoever...I learn everyday. I couldn't
see a child raising a child...It just
probably would go wrong. Thats my issue.
You can all debate with me, tell me your
sob stories about you getting preggo at
13, and I will still stick with my
opinion. I feel that life is a learning
expierence, and how can you have a child
when you are still learning yourself?
Esp. At so young?> (children that come
from a rape are definately excluded in
this argument)
so can someone explain that? How can you
bring a child into the world when you are
a child yourself? I mean, I am 20 and I
consider myself an adult, yet I feel that
I could be able to raise a child since I
have a decent job, so does the bf, we both
have an apt we share, and so on...I could
never find myself at 13,14,15 having a
child and raising them without some type
of help...Financial or otherwise.
Feel free to debate, I know its
comming..............
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Emma2
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2006 Posts: 4406 Location: Montreal, Canada
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-21-06 11:50am
It beats me how they do it...Im 29 and im
terrified! I have a great job and a new
car and a beautiful condo and i'm
terrified !! I really dont get it how
they do it!
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Da_Dez_Bombzzz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 76 Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted: 06-21-06 11:53am
emma2
wrote:
it beats me how they do
it...Im 29 and im terrified! I have a
great job and a new car and a beautiful
condo and i'm terrified !! I really dont
get it how they do
it!
hahaa, it happens if you click submit a
few times when the cpu is going slow.
Atleast someone agrees with me..Lol wait
just wait for the massive amounts of posts
and ppl will hate me lol
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Mabel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8950 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 179
Thanked:198
Posted: 06-21-06 11:53am
Ignorance is bliss. ;) they don't know
enough to be afraid. I was that girl once
too. 16 years old and I had no idea what
the real world was like. I think that is
how they do it. You are still very
sheltered (usually) at that point in your
life and you just don't have a clue in the
world what a baby is going to do to the
rest of your life. On the other hand, you
get a real quick education into parenthood
and responsibility.
It is sad. If I could do it all over
again, I would not have had a child so
young ~ but you can't go back and you just
do what you do. My son is 20 now.
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AlliE_18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2129 Location: uk
Posted: 06-21-06 11:54am
Im 17 so im a bit older than the ones you
seem to be referring to, my son is 3
months old, im on benefits (welfare as you
call it but its more money here in the uk
theres more help for housing too), it
doesnt mean I cant be a good parent. Some
older mums are worse parents than us
younger ones, I think it depends on the
type of person you are, not whether you
have a college education a huge house n
loads of money. Theres nothing wrong with
accepting help, if its offered to you and
you need it. But people in america seem
to have a real problem with people on
welfare like they are less human because
of it....Aint like that in the uk.
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Emma2
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2006 Posts: 4406 Location: Montreal, Canada
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-21-06 11:56am
You know that was a very interesting
comment. Ingi! "ignorance is bliss"
it is so true. They have no clue what
the real world is like until it hits them
in the face so hard! And allie , your
included in the babies having
babies....And with your grandfather
pedophile boyfriend you make the 1 number
on our list.
Last edited by Emma2 on 06-21-06 11:57am; edited 2 times in total
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Da_Dez_Bombzzz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 76 Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted: 06-21-06 11:57am
allie_18
wrote:
im 17 so im a bit older than
the ones you seem to be referring to, my
son is 3 months old, im on benefits
(welfare as you call it but its more money
here in the uk theres more help for
housing too), it doesnt mean I cant be a
good parent. Some older mums are worse
parents than us younger ones, I think it
depends on the type of person you are, not
whether you have a college education a
huge house n loads of money. Theres
nothing wrong with accepting help, if its
offered to you and you need it. But
people in america seem to have a real
problem with people on welfare like they
are less human because of it....Aint like
that in the
uk.
well, I have a problem paying for children
brought into this world by "little girls"
who are 20 with 3 kids. Thats just
insane..Sorry not my style. But you are
right, if you can do it you can, it does
depend on you...But most people..I will
tell you...I am frightned..Do you watch
the news?! Lol.
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Da_Dez_Bombzzz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 76 Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted: 06-21-06 11:58am
ingi
wrote:
ignorance is bliss. ;)
they don't know enough to be afraid. I
was that girl once too. 16 years old and
I had no idea what the real world was
like. I think that is how they do it.
You are still very sheltered (usually) at
that point in your life and you just don't
have a clue in the world what a baby is
going to do to the rest of your life. On
the other hand, you get a real quick
education into parenthood and
responsibility.
It is sad. If I could do it all over
again, I would not have had a child so
young ~ but you can't go back and you just
do what you do. My son is 20
now.
yeah..I suppose. Yet, I am the same age
as your son? I just don't see most lil
kids being able to do it...
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 06-21-06 11:58am
I'm sincerely hoping you haven't started
this purely for debate.
Quite simply a lot of teens girls have got
pregnant whilst using birth control.
You will also notice that it is often said
over in teen pregnancy that we are here to
support those that have got pregnant/have
children and not to support/encourage
those that want to get pregnant.
The girls in teen pregnancy spend most of
their time telling other girls that they
are silly for wanting to get pregnant at a
young age.
However, having got pregnant/had kids why
should they give up their children because
you think you couldn't cope?
They all try their best and for the most
part succeed very well. Sure they have
their slips ups but you will find even
experienced parents in their 20's and 30's
and above will also have slipups.
These girls sacrifice a lot to be good
parents and should most definately not be
put down for it.
My mom is 16 years older than me and I
wouldn't have it any other way.
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Da_Dez_Bombzzz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 76 Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted: 06-21-06 12:02pm
kia_breizzze
wrote:
i'm sincerely hoping you
haven't started this purely for debate.
Quite simply a lot of teens girls have got
pregnant whilst using birth control.
You will also notice that it is often said
over in teen pregnancy that we are here to
support those that have got pregnant/have
children and not to support/encourage
those that want to get pregnant.
The girls in teen pregnancy spend most of
their time telling other girls that they
are silly for wanting to get pregnant at a
young age.
However, having got pregnant/had kids why
should they give up their children because
you think you couldn't cope?
They all try their best and for the most
part succeed very well. Sure they have
their slips ups but you will find even
experienced parents in their 20's and 30's
and above will also have slipups.
These girls sacrifice a lot to be good
parents and should most definately not be
put down for it.
My mom is 16 years older than me and I
wouldn't have it any other
way.
no..Not for debate, someone just asked me
something in another thread, and they
locked it so I couldn't reply..Its like a
continuiance...*sp*
anyways..Yes, I understand where you are
comming from..Yet, I never said anything
about the girls giving away the
children..Did i? I mearly stated that I
couldn't see it being possible for alot of
younger girls, many just aren't ready. I
understand the b/c thing, trust me on that
one, someone I know in high school was
pregnant becuase of that. I don't get
angry with people like that, I get angry
when they try to have children...Like on
maury. Lol.
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 06-21-06 12:02pm
sandralynn
wrote:
theres nothing wrong with
accepting help when you need it-- but the
peopel that accept it so they dont have to
work to provide for their children are
another case. There are girls out there
that have children solely because they say
"oh its ok. The state will pay me."
i have a strong hatred for those
people.
unfortunately here in the uk right now it
is very very difficult to be a working
single parent.
Child care costs are extortionate.
I know several people who could either
work and make just enough to put their kid
in day care or they can stay home for the
same amount of money.
I know for a fact that if all my wages
were going to pay someone else to bring my
kid up then screw it, i'd rather stay home
and bring my kid up my way.
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Da_Dez_Bombzzz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 76 Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted: 06-21-06 12:03pm
sandralynn
wrote:
allie_18
wrote:
im 17 so im a bit older than
the ones you seem to be referring to, my
son is 3 months old, im on benefits
(welfare as you call it but its more money
here in the uk theres more help for
housing too), it doesnt mean I cant be a
good parent. Some older mums are worse
parents than us younger ones, I think it
depends on the type of person you are, not
whether you have a college education a
huge house n loads of money. Theres
nothing wrong with accepting help, if its
offered to you and you need it. But
people in america seem to have a real
problem with people on welfare like they
are less human because of it....Aint like
that in the
uk.
theres nothing wrong with accepting help
when you need it-- but the peopel that
accept it so they dont have to work to
provide for their children are another
case. There are girls out there that
have children solely because they say "oh
its ok. The state will pay me."
i have a strong hatred for those
people.
oh yes, you got that right sandra!!! I
find that appauling..That every time I get
a paycheck, taxes take out about 200 or
more dollars of my check..Where does that
money go? Oh I know where it goes
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Mabel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8950 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 179
Thanked:198
Posted: 06-21-06 12:06pm
kia_breizzze
wrote:
sandralynn
wrote:
theres nothing wrong with
accepting help when you need it-- but the
peopel that accept it so they dont have to
work to provide for their children are
another case. There are girls out there
that have children solely because they say
"oh its ok. The state will pay me."
i have a strong hatred for those
people.
unfortunately here in the uk right now it
is very very difficult to be a working
single parent.
Child care costs are extortionate.
I know several people who could either
work and make just enough to put their kid
in day care or they can stay home for the
same amount of money.
I know for a fact that if all my wages
were going to pay someone else to bring my
kid up then screw it, i'd rather stay home
and bring my kid up my
way.
it is the same in the state, kia. Daycare
costs are more than some people make in a
month. It doesn't make sense to work.
But daycare workers also have to make
money and people want the best care for
their children ~ so where does this get
solved in today's 2 person income family
lifestyles?
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Da_Dez_Bombzzz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 76 Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted: 06-21-06 12:06pm
kia_breizzze
wrote:
sandralynn
wrote:
theres nothing wrong with
accepting help when you need it-- but the
peopel that accept it so they dont have to
work to provide for their children are
another case. There are girls out there
that have children solely because they say
"oh its ok. The state will pay me."
i have a strong hatred for those
people.
unfortunately here in the uk right now it
is very very difficult to be a working
single parent.
Child care costs are extortionate.
I know several people who could either
work and make just enough to put their kid
in day care or they can stay home for the
same amount of money.
I know for a fact that if all my wages
were going to pay someone else to bring my
kid up then screw it, i'd rather stay home
and bring my kid up my
way.
:d
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8504 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 213
Thanked:15
Posted: 06-21-06 12:13pm
What's sickening is seeing these people in
the grocery store. They've got their
hair done, fake nails on their hands,
talking on a flashy flip phone, and buying
doritos and cocacola with their food
stamps. The system is severely flawed.
I think they should rework the food stamp
program and make it more like .W.I.C,
where you have a list of approved foods
that you can buy... Like a certain
allotment for fresh meat, vegetables,
eggs, milk, bread, fruit, juice, and a
*small* allowance for luxury foods, like
chips and soda. At least in my state,
anything that is considered edible (with
the exception of alcohol) is available to
purchase on food stamps. It's
infuriating to watch people waste my tax
dollars on $30 birthday cakes from the
grocery store bakery when a box of cake
mix costs something like 89 cents. If
you're in such a financial struggle that
you need assistance, you don't *need* a
professional cake... Bake the damn thing
yourself.
*edit* by "these people" I do not mean
teen mothers. I mean people in general
that work the system. I just wanted to
make that clear. :)
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AlliE_18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2129 Location: uk
Posted: 06-21-06 12:14pm
A lot of teens in the uk get pregnant so
they can get free government
houses/apartments. I didnt plan it, I
was on birth control. I could work but
as im not trained in anything or have any
qualifications past high school, I wouldnt
make enough money to make us better off
than being on benefits. So why should I
bother?
If I work, then I have to pay for the
place we live in wheras right now I pay no
rent just the water rates charge, and I
would have to pay a daycare for my son to
be in while I work. My job would probly
be in a store on minimum wage, so that
would be all my money gone just about.
I wouldnt have gained anything, but I
would have lost the time I spend with my
son every day. Its not worth it just
because tax payers(i mean people who work)
think its morally wrong. Its upto the
government, if they want to help with
housing and benefits as much as they do,
then people should be mad with them not
us.
Last edited by AlliE_18 on 06-21-06 12:17pm; edited 1 time in total
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Da_Dez_Bombzzz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 76 Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted: 06-21-06 12:16pm
ayamiyaki
wrote:
what's sickening is seeing
these people in the grocery store.
They've got their hair done, fake nails on
their hands, talking on a flashy flip
phone, and buying doritos and cocacola
with their food stamps. The system is
severely flawed. I think they should
rework the food stamp program and make it
more like .W.I.C, where you have a list of
approved foods that you can buy... Like
a certain allotment for fresh meat,
vegetables, eggs, milk, bread, fruit,
juice, and a *small* allowance for luxury
foods, like chips and soda. At least in
my state, anything that is considered
edible (with the exception of alcohol) is
available to purchase on food stamps.
It's infuriating to watch people waste my
tax dollars on $30 birthday cakes from the
grocery store bakery when a box of cake
mix costs something like 89 cents. If
you're in such a financial struggle that
you need assistance, you don't *need* a
professional cake... Bake the damn
thing yourself.
*edit* by "these people" I do not mean
teen mothers. I mean people in general
that work the system. I just wanted to
make that clear.
:)
oh snap, I didn't even get that far as to
rant about the fake nails/hair ! Haha,
thanks for doing it for me. I wish the us
really did more as in improving the
system..There are people that still fraud
the government, some don't even have
children!
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8504 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 213
Thanked:15
Posted: 06-21-06 12:17pm
Allie, just a quick question. Do you
receive any kind of financial assistance
from your child's father? (not trying to
judge, just curious :) )
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Da_Dez_Bombzzz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 76 Location: Connecticut, USA
Posted: 06-21-06 12:18pm
allie_18
wrote:
a lot of teens in the uk get
pregnant so they can get free government
houses/apartments. I didnt plan it, I
was on birth control. I could work but
as im not trained in anything or have any
qualifications past high school, I wouldnt
make enough money to make us better off
than being on benefits. So why should I
bother?
If I work, then I have to pay for the
place we live in wheras right now I pay no
rent just the water rates charge, and I
would have to pay a daycare for my son to
be in while I work. My job would probly
be in a store on minimum wage, so that
would be all my money gone just about.
I wouldnt have gained anything, but I
would have lost the time I spend with my
son every day. Its not worth it just
because tax payers(i mean people who work)
think its morally wrong. Its upto the
government, if they want to help with
housing and benefits as much as they do,
then people should be mad with them not
us.
i have a huge problem with that..Because
you are accepting the money knowing that
you could indeed have a job...When other
ppl out there are in worse situtations
then you are. Thats just being obnoxious.
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candita_sky
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 02 May 2006 Posts: 522 Location: in the land of pooh bear
Posted: 06-21-06 12:19pm
I hate daycare (the shellking out of all
my paycheck to them that is) I am a stay
at home mom of 3+1 on way and my dh is the
only wage owner here. I would have to
hand over all my check and then some for
some one to watch them and take them to
and from school(8yr old ) pre-school (4)
and to developmental pre-school and then
to reg pre0-school (3) so I stay home and
it is just better that way. But yes it is
upsetting to see young ones trying to
become pregnant but remember not all of
them tried. Some did use bc and I can
tell you not all work since 2 of my kids
were conceived on diff types of it. Some
were raped so do give them a break when it
comes to the blame game. Not all are like
that and maybe for the ones that are preg.
Or have a baby can give insight for the
ones trying.