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Q: Premature Ejaculation
asked by: miregina on January 15th, 2004
New User
I'm with a wonderful man that I love very much. We waited a long time to make love due to my beliefs he was fine with it the whole time. He had not had sex in 18 months, before we started making love.
The first time we did he had a premature ejaculation, which was fine I knew it had been a long time for him so I didn't care, I was just happy that he enjoyed it. But it was continuing to happen, I still didn't mind but he would get so upset with himself so I tried to make him understand that it wasn't a big deal to me that he needs to stop being so hard on himself.
Well, two nights ago we were again together 2 times. The first time was the longest that it has been and the second he ejaculated right upon entering. So again I told him it was fine, not to worry about it. I wasn't just saying it I meant it. I love him so much that it wouldn't matter to me if we were ever able to make love again I would still be with him. He finally, said we needed to talk and so he told me it had been happening for about 10 years now and that it just irritated him to no end. He thought that once he told me that I would end things with him but thats not going to happen, he is the world to me.
However, is there something that I can do to help him with this? I want him to be happy and not be so depressed about it. I adore him and it kills me to see him this unhappy. I told him we would work through it together so if anyone has any thoughts i'm willing to listen. Its not only during making love its also when I go down on him as well. If anyone has any tips i'm all ears, I want to help him so that he will not feel like he is failing me because he isn't.
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Replies(5)
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philasheo
replied on January 20th, 2004
New User
It sounds as though you are reassuring him regard his concerns about premature ejaculation. What the two of you need to do is work on this together. While giving him oral make him aware you want to know when he is getting ready to climax. Don't allow him to climax though. Hold his penis down at the base before he climaxes. Do this until he doesn't feel like he is going to cum. Then repeat the process. Between the two of you you can help him control his ejaculation. I would recommend doing this orally first then moving on. However; during intercourse he feels like he is coming he can hold onto to the penis at the base or you can do the same. Another location you can apply pressure to is the behind his testicle sack. Applying pressure there would help slow him down. Another option would be to purchase a penis ring. However don't use this for a long period of time. I would suggest no longer than 15 - 20 minutes. You may want to experiment. But you b/f may become too dependent on the ring controlling his flow. This is a problem which is cured overnight and it takes time and patience on the part of both. It sounds as though you are very supportive. I wish you the best of luck.
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LonnieMc
replied on February 10th, 2004
New User
I also suffer from the same problem. I have tried different things in the past like certain creams.

Awhile back I had a talk with one of my doc's. He gave me a prescription for zoloft 50mg. He told me to take one about 6 hours before sex, and this would help.

I know this is not the permante solution, but it may help.
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2ferano
replied on February 16th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
He can also work on it by himself. Have him masterbate and not let himself cum. Have him gradually increase the time that he doesn't ejaculate until he is up to like twenty minutes or more. This should increase his stamina. If it is not a medical condition then it can definately be fixed. Work on it together and have him work on it by himself. When you are having intercourse and he is about to cum, make him stop. Do not start again until that feeling subsides. And if these things do not work, and it is bothersome to either or both of you, see a doctor. But, do not stop assuring him that it is o.K with you. Although, it is going to bother him anyway as I am sure he loves you and wants to please you, just keep assuring him. Good luck!
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Alan
replied on February 22nd, 2004
New User
Same Problem
Hi,
i'm also encountering pe but mine is chronic. I can't differentiate myself that it is a medical problem or psychological factors. I've practised alot to control ejaculation prematurely though little improvement. I've tried some desensitizing cream which works in some way. But I haven't made love with a girl yet.
However, it depresses me a lot that I have no confidence to approach a girl after all. I dun know why. What should I do?
It 's not convenient for me to see a psychiatrist now.There should be some suggestions from urologist and neurophysician also I think.
Pls suggest me what I should do.
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2ferano
replied on March 23rd, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I went to the above site out of curiosity. Was that suppose to make sense??????
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