I dont know if I have anxiety , but I do
know that my stress level is high. I have
been put on zoloft, paxil, and prozac.
None of these has helped me. It's gotten
to the point where I clench my jaw all the
time. Even when i'm awake. I catch
myself doing it and it takes all I have to
make myself relax. But, not long, and i'm
clenching my jaw again. My shoulders and
my back are hurting constantly
also.....Its like I cant make myself
relax!! I dont know how else to expain
it. I just got married to the greatest
guy in the world, and finally at the age
of 29 I feel like my life is getting
better, but i'm in constant pain. I dont
understand it, and I dont know how to fix
it! Any suggestions?
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verryaryawan
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 17 Location: singapore
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
New Bride Needs to Relax Posted: 01-15-04 01:02am
You can take chinese medicine if you want.
But need more information from you before
suggesting one
The answer for me was cognitive behavioral
therapy (cbt). I was on meds for many
years before I found cbt and it cured me
and got me off meds in a remarkably short
period of time. I didn't have a lot of
the physical pain related stufff the
stress is causing you but cbt teaches you
tools to relieve the stress so hopefully
that in turn would relieve your pain. A
good cbt therapist knows they cannot
change what's already happened to you but
they can help you change how you deal with
what happens in your life from here on
out. It's all about using the tools to
learn to think more clearly and accurately
about things and once you do your anxiety,
panic and depression will miraculously
begin to lift before your eyes. My
favorite starter book on cbt is "been
there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz
(www.Tao3.Com) based on what I have seen
with the people I know who used cbt the
more dedicated you are to the tools the
faster and deeper the recovery regardless
of how bad their anxiety and stress level
was when they got started. Like anything
in life the more you put in the more you
get out of cbt. That's why I think group
settings can be especially effective with
cbt because you can see the people that
are working the hardest to get well making
the most progress and it becomes
infectious.
Hope this is helpful
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-15-04 09:05am
Lucky,
i too married at 29 after living together
for almost 12 months but when that
marriage cert. Was signed a bizarre new
me emerged, I was so uptight & tense
& worried etc etc, with the help of a
friend who also happened to be a
psychologist I came to see that for some
reason I had changed with becomin a
"wife".
I know that these days we're supposed to
be equal & share etc, but there is
still constant input, media, books,
movies, people's comments etc etc &
that goes into our subconscious & for
me it "came out" as stress that I was not
being the "good little wife & doing
all the housework etc etc" even though I
was working while he was at home finishing
a college degree.
So if (as seems the case by what you say)
you weren't like this before marriage
& if (as I assume) you haven't had any
accidents to cause the pain etc, see a
friend &/or counsellor you can trust
& think about whether this pain is the
way your subconscious is choosing to let
out your fears of failure, of not being
"the perfect wife" (something women get
thrown at them from all sides but men can
do whatever - take marge simpson versus
homer!!!!) fear of marriage failing
(especially if your parents are divorced
or having problems) fears about coping
financially or with children or of things
you feel the two of you haven't fully
discussed & sorted through yet.
Another one is, we obviously want to get
on well with our in laws, but that isn't
always possible & maybe you feel
guilty about that or the opposite, that he
doesn't get on with your family.
We think the hard part is meeting the
right person & getting through the
ceremony, but in truth the hard part is
learning to live with each other as "a
married couple" & as I say, this
applied to me even though we'd been
living together for 12 months prior to
marrying & in the same house we lived
in after marriage, yet for some reason
after it became legal I started stressing
out something fierce & for no "valid"
reason.
Before you get hooked on meds of any sort
of cbt see if any of the above or similar
maight be the actual problem, work through
it & you'll be fine.
A couple of other things just occurred to
me; did you get a new bed &/or pillow
- maybe it/they are too hard/soft ?? You
mention clenching your jaw, could it be
dislocated? In other words alot has
changed one way & another & there
may be a simple answer.
