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June 17th, 2006
Hi..I just wanted to share what was happening in my life and just looking for advice (legal, medical..Whatever) first of all..I am 35 weeks pregnant. A couple weeks ago..My boyfriend and I (we have a 3 yr old already) got in a fight and I ended up calling the police on him. I then told the report lady to nevermind I had to go to work. Ryan and I made up and everything was fine. Then a couple days after my call to the police, they called me back and said an officer would be stopping by to talk to me. Ryan was sleeping in bed when they came ( I happened to be very angry with im at that point..He had stayed out all night and didn't tell me where he was) they asked me to tell them everything that had happened a few days prior. So I did. Then they asked me to wait downstairs while they go "talk" to ryan. The officer came and got me about 20 mins later.They said ryan had been arrested for assault. I was in shock. The next thing I know they have got me writing a statement of what happened. Taking pictures of a bruise on my arm (which wasn't from ryan) and telling me that there will probably be a no contact order between us for a while. ...Well..That is what happened. I guess it is automatic or somehting for a no contact order to be in place until court. It has been 2 weeks now. This is not what I wanted to happen...It all seemed to snowball out of control. I feel like this is a big misunderstanding with the crown council. I went and met with them a few days ago. I said this is a big mistake..I am not afraid of ryan blah blah blah....She tried to tell me "well..You must have been afraid when you called the police!" truth is..I just called the police because I let my anger take over. No one believes me..They say all women say this after. "o nothing happened" I am so scared that he will not be at the birth...That he will miss the res t of the pregnancy. Our daughter is wondering why daddy isn't at home. I hate this!!! What do I do!!!..I am crying myself to sleep every night wishing he were next to me. Will I end up with broken family? Will I end up a single mom on welfare!! This is not the life I had choosen. We want to get married..Have more babies..Be happy!
Please help...Does anyone have anything to say?
Thanks for listening (reading)
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MamiClaudia
replied June 17th, 2006
Experienced User
Talk to a lawyer... And why did you write the statement? If you wouldnt make a statement im not sure how much they could of done. He must of told them he did something physical to you anyway. They probally felt he was putting your baby and you in danger. I would see if you can get the case expelled. When does it go to court? I dont know where your from but im pretty sure in every state in the us if the police are called because of a domestic distrubance by law they .H.A.V.E. To arrest someone. I would definately talk to an attorney or hire one for him and talk to his attorney. Good luck =0\
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Fairy Godmother
replied June 17th, 2006
Supporter
Been There, Done That Several Times...years Ago
First, how many times has he gone out, leaving you and your other child home alone, not coming in until the next day? You should seriously rethink this relationship. This does not sound like a very dedicated man to me........I do understand you calling the police out of anger, but you also were frightened, whether you admit it to me or yourself. Second, how many times do you have these fights and are they in the same room with this other child? You are pregnant with another baby, and everything you do and every emotion you have is related to this baby....... You need to be in a calm reassuring and stable relationship. I wish I had listened or had someone to talk to 30 years ago......I stayed in abusive relationships, because I didn't want to be alone, and i'd tell myself, "oh things will change......Hello...... I do hope and pray things will work out hte way you want. You, your daughter and this unborn child deserve all of lifes best, and the ball is in your court.......... Hugs!
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jennyepp
replied June 17th, 2006
Ball In Courts Hands
Thanks for the replies...The night ryan stayed out all night was the night of his bestfriends wedding. He was the bestman. We went to the wedding together and came home together. After we got home..He said he was just going to take gary home (he got a ride with us too) I was exhausted and went to bed. I heard the phone ring around 1 am but couldn't be bothered to get it...About 0 mins later I was still awake..Thought I would go see who called. Ryan had left a message. "we are just stopping to get something to eat, just seeing if you wantd anything."
i went to bed. I pulled in at 8am. I couldn't believe it! I was sooo angry. No he doesn't do this all the time. I think he did it once a couple years ago. He doesn't really go out without me. We actaully have a very happy home realtionship. We enjoy eachothers company. This was just not meant to play out like this. I have made big mistake. I fear that he will forced not to be a part of our family. It just seems wrong to take him away from us like this. We have so many hopes and dreams as a family..Together.
Sucks
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