Well, I have been friends with stacy since my junior year of high school. It is a strange story in all because we really knew each other a full year before we officially “met”. We hung out with the same people, at the same time, and had lunch together for a full school year but neither of us remembers each other… we remember specific incidents that one of us initiated but not the person. (and I am really hard not to notice…)

so anyways, after we were officially introduced we became the best of friends! I almost lived at her house, her parents called me their other daughter, and even set a spot at the dinner table for me for the important occasions!!

To this day she is still my closest of friends despite the physical distance of living in different states! I am even very good friends with her husband! I have spent a ton of alone time with him, even spending a week in a hotel room with him while visiting her at boot camp. She was a little wierd at the start but realized who she was dealing with…not only am I the opposite of “his type” but she knows I wouldn’t screw her over like that even if she isn’t totally aware that I am just not into guys…

so anyways…i have found that I am extremely attracted to woman that look like her… shorter then I am, brown hair, green eyes, same basic physical shape…it is uncanny…it took me a long time to realize that I was doing this! Years!

Once I became aware of the similarities I sat down and started thinking about the situation and found that I just don’t see her in any way remotely sexual. She is my best friend and even if she wasn’t married (she is openly bi/curious. She has only been with 1 woman.) I honestly believe that I couldn’t bring myself to do something that might endanger our very close friendship.

I am as close to her emotionally as I have been with any male in a relationship. (i haven’t actually gotten up the courage to go out and get a “girlfriend” yet but I have reached that point…)

i have these urges to give her gift’s as if I were trying to woo her…i know in my logical side that I am not physically attracted to her because I respect her and love her intellect too much but I am wondering if all these urges and confusions mean that I am actually “in love” with her.

I am very confused!

I wouldn’t change my relationship with her for the world because that would mean possibly losing my to closest friends…so why then do I get all butterfly’s-in-my-stomach feeling when I know that I am going to see her…why do I want to send her gifts…can I save my sanity and my friendship with her??

I know that this fanticy of mine could never happen so why can't I get her out of my head???

Anyone have any advice?