I Think I Am In Love With My Best Friend… Posted: 06-16-06 22:09pm
Well, I have been friends with stacy since
my junior year of high school. It is a
strange story in all because we really
knew each other a full year before we
officially “met”. We hung out with
the same people, at the same time, and had
lunch together for a full school year but
neither of us remembers each other… we
remember specific incidents that one of us
initiated but not the person. (and I am
really hard not to notice…)
so anyways, after we were officially
introduced we became the best of friends!
I almost lived at her house, her parents
called me their other daughter, and even
set a spot at the dinner table for me for
the important occasions!!
To this day she is still my closest of
friends despite the physical distance of
living in different states! I am even
very good friends with her husband! I
have spent a ton of alone time with him,
even spending a week in a hotel room with
him while visiting her at boot camp. She
was a little wierd at the start but
realized who she was dealing with…not
only am I the opposite of “his type”
but she knows I wouldn’t screw her over
like that even if she isn’t totally
aware that I am just not into guys…
so anyways…i have found that I am
extremely attracted to woman that look
like her… shorter then I am, brown hair,
green eyes, same basic physical shape…it
is uncanny…it took me a long time to
realize that I was doing this! Years!
Once I became aware of the similarities I
sat down and started thinking about the
situation and found that I just don’t
see her in any way remotely sexual. She
is my best friend and even if she wasn’t
married (she is openly bi/curious. She
has only been with 1 woman.) I honestly
believe that I couldn’t bring myself to
do something that might endanger our very
close friendship.
I am as close to her emotionally as I have
been with any male in a relationship. (i
haven’t actually gotten up the courage
to go out and get a “girlfriend” yet
but I have reached that point…)
i have these urges to give her gift’s as
if I were trying to woo her…i know in my
logical side that I am not physically
attracted to her because I respect her and
love her intellect too much but I am
wondering if all these urges and
confusions mean that I am actually “in
love” with her.
I am very confused!
I wouldn’t change my relationship with
her for the world because that would mean
possibly losing my to closest friends…so
why then do I get all
butterfly’s-in-my-stomach feeling when I
know that I am going to see her…why do I
want to send her gifts…can I save my
sanity and my friendship with her??
I know that this fanticy of mine could
never happen so why can't I get her out of
my head???
