They could be the best thing that ever happened to you!

Could you ask for the support and advice of family and friends to help guide your decision?

I know you could be right. Im just absolutely petrified. I could ask my family for help and luckily they are in a position to help.

I never thought I could fell so attatched to them already but at the same time so confused.

But what if its not the right thing to do after all im studying to be a doctor its what ive worked towards all my life.

Ok, so now theres a bump in the road..... You are on your way to becoming your dream, a doctor. Who's to stop this? It now may take a while longer now, but, who's to say you have to give up going to school? I know several people, who have had to juggle going to school to become a doctor, lawyer and engineer, raise a family (playing the mommy role), playing the (wife) role, etc. This is a very difficult decision for you. Twins are a gift from god, a rare occurance in life. You stated you would have the support a from family and friends. You also sound as though you and your (daddy to be) have reality in check, are stable and going for goals in life. Those things may just take a little longer to acquire with a family in tow. To me the most important thing in this life, is not what you have or own (materialistic), what you become or do. Its who you have with you in life and how you treat others. Family is number one in my book. Yes, there are so many people out there who love and adore children, but are not able to conceive them. I am eternally greatful to a lady in russia for my beautiful neice, and to a troubled teen in georgia who gave us my nephew. Our family love these as if they were our own. God bless you and your decision. Please keep us posted!

When all is said and done and you look back on your life, you might prefer to be able to say 'i was a good mother' rather than 'i was a good doctor'. And if you plan it correctly, you could be lucky enough to achieve both. There are many women who achieve great success in their careers after having children. You can have it all nowadays! :)

maybe your partner could be a stay-at-home dad when you return to study? Maybe your university offers creche facilities. Your mother and father may agree to watch the kids whilst you study; many parents love their new role as grandparents, and when the twins are growing up they'll always have company. I know some twins and the bond they share is wonderful.

I never planned to be in this situation and I always thought if I did I would be able to have an abortion. But now i'm actually here, I feel bonded with them already. Am I mad?? How can I have feelings for 2 tiny things i've never met. Im really not sure if its possible to juggle newborn twins and a medical degree but I think im about to try and give it a go. The worst that can happen is I take a year out from university.

I do hope my parents would support me, but although they are comfortable for money they can also be rather selfish.

I agree that twins are a gift and I just hope that they are both ok. Is it normal to be so scared? I'm even driving slower in the car and being more aware around me its insane I never thought i'd feel like this

Well, it's always your choice. If the "worst" that could happen is that you take a year off from college, and if you are so attatched to these twins at this point, i'd honestly have to say that abortion is probably not the right choice for you. As others have said, it sounds like you and your partner are in control of your lives and your destinies, and if you would have family support, then it is vry likely that you'd be able to care for these twins. It is twice the trouble, but also twice he love :)

i don't see you recovering well from an abortion, as you've said that you don't want one at this point. You're too emotonally attatched to them, and that's okay. Also, if you do give the twins up to adoption, you'll have to make sure that they either stay togther as twins, or they get split up. You could potentially make some parents who can't conceive very happy. Just remember all of your options!

I really hope you make the desiscion that is right for you (although it already sounds like you already have; which is cool!) and whether you keep them, give them up for adoption or (for whatever reason) end up aborting them; we will support you in that desiscion and help you through it!

I think I have made my decision but I am utterly petrified, my partner has just told me that he doent want children at the moment but will support me in whatever I decide, but its a hell of a lot easier for him to walk out than me isnt it? Why on earth am I so scared?!

Hey I think you should keep your baby's and at the same time better your life by becoming a Dr. But ask your family for help in any way you need it....If they will help you then you don't need your bf......I wish you and your twins the best of luck

Im worried I cant give my babies the type of life I could give them in 5 or 10 years time tho. Is being at university with twins really practical??

Are you two married? Because I really think that if you're seriously planning on keeping these babies, and raising them yourself, then you need to get married so he doesn't run away. Remember again that adoption is an option!

No we're not married but its definately something we need to give great consideration too. Not that we could afford it with twins on the way. I really really hope I am strong enough for this because at the moment I dont think I am

You can't afford to be married? How does it cost more to be officially a couple, than to just be dating? And I don't mean the wedding, lol.

Lol. I was talking about a wedding.

Its going to be a huge change in my life if I have these twins and im not sure im ready. God I hate being so indecisive.

Well, just remember that nature isn't going to let you be indecisive for ever ^_^ them twins is coming out, and by then you'll have to be ready to keep them, or give them up to a different caring home.

Lol, yeah I know! I know as soon as I see them I would never be able to give them up, i'd love them way too much. I'm absolutely paranoid i'm going to have a miscarriage or one of my twins wont be ok. Why would I be so paranoid about this if I didnt want them? Its wierd I dont even understand my own feelings. I almost just wish they were here now and I didnt have a decision to make

no, being at university with new twin babies is probably not practical. It does not have to be practical though, you cannot put logic to this situation, it is built on emotion. From conception to birth/abortion it will all be emotion.

If you choose to have these babies, you will probably lose your b/f, I am a man and it does not take a rocket scientest to figure out that his statement, "i" do not want to have kids, "but" I will support you is a big line of .C.R.A.P. He may be a really great partner right now but when children come, it is 5000 x's the work you believe it will be!

I want to be perfectly clear and tell you that "i" believe in pro-life but at the same time I am also a man and I do not pretend to have any say in what a female to-be-mom has to do. If you feel that aborting is going to benefit you in the end, than you need to sit with yourself and discuss this alone and after you decide, get a close friend and run it by them. At the end, you dont need anyone's approval, it is between you and your babies.

To answer your question about the attachment to the embryos, I believe that they are real, live babies, you feel the love for them because they are living and depending on you. If you don't believe in that statement, than you may be able to abort and be able to get "over" the emotional strain of it because of science vs. Church belief. (the only analogy I could come up with.)

remember, you may want to talk with the dad about this but at the end of the day, you really need to figure out if he is giving you signs of skitishness and acting like a 2 year old, if he is, he is going to abandon you and try to get away without supporting you. Legaly he will be forced to support you and the babies but is it worth it?

You have some serious decision making to do, each day you allow these children to be with you for much longer it may not be emotionally possible for you to let go and it may not be medically possible either.

Good luck and please feel free to pm me if you would like,
brian

I havent read brians reply, its too long.
But buzzybee, to be honest you said that you are in the middle of becoming a doctor? Think of it in the non sugar-coated way...You are going to be in massive debt from studying to become a doctor, do you think you will be able to afford not one, but two babies?
If you take a year out you will then be behind a year, further away from paying that money back. And will forget some stuff you have studied.
If you drop out you will have a debt, two babies and will probibly have to work like 10 years to pay off a debt for a carrier you never had.
I think it would be better for you to finish off your education first. This is 2006 you cant really get by nowadays without a decent education. I dont know where you live but if its america you dont get child benefit so most people stuggle. And thats just with one baby. Im not trying to burst your bubble atall hun, I know what its like your all emotional and confused, cause its these embryo's growing inside of you, but you need to think about yourself too.
There are pro's and con's to abortion and keeping the babies.
You can either
>have an abortion and have to deal with everything emtional that comes with it. Finish your degree, start a decent life, then have children who you can provide for.
Or
>have your twins, put your degree on hold. Or drop out, struggle. But you will have your babies.
Or there is adoption, but whats the likelyhood of giving them up once they are born
it is up to you, but I thought it would be better for at least one person to not sugar-coat care-bear it all up.
No offence to anyone in here cause its all good advice.
Good luck with any decision you make hun.
Cherry88

I do need to hear the hard truth because that is what im faced with. I just dont understand why this decision is so hard. I've always been a very logical person and the logical thing in this situation would be to have a termination then start a family in 5-10 years time when me and my partner are both fully prepared and ready. But for some reason I just cant help but think its not the right one for me. Argh!

Even though cherry88 didn't take the time to read my reponse, I hope you do. It is important that you weigh everything and not let a single soul influnce your decision.

At the end of the day there is a right and a wrong decision, I do not know what it is and I will not pretend to guess what the right one is. I will also not try to influnce you, you have to really take a step back and try to figure everything out.

If you can afford to go away for a day or two, to be alone and figure things out. You will be better prepared to advance your position and follow through with a well thought out plan.

Good luck and remember don't look for the approval or disapproval of anyone. This is your life and you approve of it!

Brian