I have been down this road before and kids understand more than what you think. I am not a dr or a psychologist but it is not really a good idea to stay together for your children as I said before they see and feel more than what you think. I cannot tell you to stay or leave, that is your choice but you cannot have your cake and eat it too. I am surprised that your wife has not given you your walking papers as I am sure that she is hurting or has no respect for you but whatever happens please never forget your son.
Good luck to you whatever you decide!

The timing is amazing. My wife and I had a very serious discussion at lunch time. I felt the full reality of losing her for some reason as we talked. It was a good talk... A little anger, some tears and a lot of honesty.

I contacted my friend after lunch and we are midstream into what I believe is a breakup argument.

I'm sad about it, but actually feeling more relief than sadness.

I can understand your feelings and have been where you are 5 years ago. A close friend who knew nothing about what was going on told me the following:

sometimes when we are at our low points there will be someone who seems to lift us up. We feel so good when we are with this person that our feelings become misguided and we begin to see that friend in a different light. They are filling a hole inside us that our partners arent able to fill at that time. While we are having contact with that person we cant really see things for what they are. The feelings we think we have for this other person seem so much more real and we being to doubt our feelings and purpose with the other person.

I cut off all contact with this person. I found that it was easier to think through things. I decided that I would give my relationship another shot without outside influences. I can say that I am glad that I did hit that point in my life. I value what I have and now realize that those feelings were not real, I was confused and that person was able to fill a void that my parnter could not. I am thankful that I never followed through at that time.

I hope that it all works out for you. From what you have said you have a supportive wife who loves you. It takes work to keep a marriage going and we all change. Maybe just the two of you going out to dinner, having a date again. You never know you just might find what made you fall in love with her in the first place.

Good luck.

I thank you all for your input.

I did end up separating with my friend and came clean with my wife (she requested that I be open about these things).


I have not slept all night.


I'm glad to have my honor back, but I am going to miss my friend dearly.

I've been there too and it really does suck! I never fell through with the intentions that I had with this guy. This was about 3 1/2 years ago. I've been with my husband for 17 years, since we were 15 :shock: I was missing something. I never really had the chance to date since I was only 15. We had our first son when I was 17. My husband is a good man and never deserved what I was going to do. I came clean with my intentions, we had a big arguement and moved on. I think a lot of cheating comes from boredom. New is exciting! It sounds like you have a good woman. What are the odds that you're gonna find another woman like her? Very slim now-a-days! Marriage is work. It never comes easy. You will hurt your wife and your children. Your children learn from you. I can only hope that you want your children to maintain a long lasting love when they grow older and not bounce around when they become bored with someone who is good for them. I'm 33, have a 16 old and 12 year old, both boys. It's been a long bumpy road with many challenges. But I could never find another man like my husband and he's definately a keeper. I just think of it this way, I just reeled in the big one early! :d