Violent Thoughts, Terrified of Being Alone In the Dark Posted: 06-11-06 23:45pm
I posted a forum on this yesterday but no
one replied. If you have anything
helpful to say please reply. Also if you
have suggestions.
For about the past year or so I have
noticed that I have very strange thoughts.
My parents have recently got divorced
and are getting back together, but it
started before that. Whenever someone
gets me something I always think about
throwing it at a wall and screaming in
their face. I know I would never do
that, and I am grateful for what they have
done, but I still think about it.
More recently, I have started to think
about yelling at my parents and telling
them I hate them, and moving out and going
to a diffrent family. It makes me feel
really guilty and really bad because I
have the best family ever, but it still
happends.
I also think about harming animals when
i'm alone with one (i never have though),
but I love animals.
What is wrong with me? I want to tell my
dad but i'm scared he'll be mad at me,
even though he is understanding. I am
afraid that i'll get sent to jail or
something, even though I know none of this
will ever actually happen. I'm really
scared, and I want to tell someone, but I
don't want them think of me diffrent or
think that i'm some crazy lunatic. What
do I do?
This does'nt happen often, but it still
happends.
But what does happen often is I get really
really scared when I go to bed. Unless
i'm really tired I get really scared and
think that something is going to kill me
or kidnap me in my sleep. I'm scared to
turn my back and face the wall when i'm in
bed because then I think someone will
sneak up behind me and kidnap me in my
sleep. I do watch horror movies
occasionally, and I don't think its from
them, but they might have helped. Has
anyone had any similar expiriences or may
know whats wrong with me?
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johnR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 229
Posted: 06-12-06 18:59pm
I'm no expert but it sounds like you are
holding a lot of anger and it would be
good if you could find someone
professional to talk with possibly at your
school or maybe you could find one through
a friend or family member. If you can't
find help there possibly your family
doctor could help or at least get you a
referral and you could ask him not to tell
your parents if you are concerned about
that. Talk to someone professional though
and the sooner the better.
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w0rldd0minat0r
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 238
Posted: 06-13-06 16:28pm
Yeah sounds like the above plus definate
anxiety, the fact that your unsure about
things in your life and that its not as
settled as it used to be
ive strangely felt the same as you but not
as extreme
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luvkittykats
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 69 Location: north carolina
Posted: 06-25-06 00:13am
:d
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renedan
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2006 Posts: 3 Location: Milner, Georgia
Violent Thoughts And Terrified of the Dark Posted: 06-30-06 09:43am
Dear friend....Just a quick note and
suggestion. I personally cannnot watch
violent movies without it affecting my
thoughts. Although I haven't had the
problem to an extreme, I avoid movies that
show people violently violating another
person. I just don't think it is good for
our spirit. Think about how you feel when
you listen to relaxing music and how you
feel when you listen to angry music. What
we watch and listen to definitely affect
how we think and feel. My husband is a
counselor and he deals with people that
have the problem you have and they have
been helped by trying to keep their mind
clean. Have you thought about going to
church? It may help. Remember that
thoughts are just that and the more we
concentrate on something the bigger it
becomes. We all have evil thoughts at one
time or another. You are not alone, but
if you feel that you may act out, I would
suggest that you seek professional help.
Also, how old are you? Teens many times
have strange thoughts such as you
describe, especially male teens. It seems
to have to do with hormones. Good luck to
you and I will be praying that god will
relieve your anxiety and give you peace.
....Renedan :)
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angelline
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Aug 2006 Posts: 2
About Being Afraid of Being Alone In the Dark.... Posted: 08-01-06 04:01am
I too am the same way - im 42 years old,
and have depression. I take my meds as im
supposed to, and during the day I am
pretty much "ok" - (most of the time) -
but like tonight it is 4am and I am still
up. I *hate* to go to bed. I hate to
turn off the lights and lay in that bed
alone with my thoughts in the dark. It is
so overwhelming... So I find that I stay
up until I am literally falling asleep at
the computer, or falling asleep watching
tv, so that I dont have to lay in bed and
let my thoughts get the worst of me. I
dont know why this happens to some of us -
but its very hard to deal with... Are you
on meds? Do you see a doctor? Perhaps
this would be a place to start - talk to
your doctor about it and see what they
say... As far as the violence in your
thoughts those definately need worked thru
with someone who is not involved with your
family directly - dont be afraid to reach
out and get that help. The right
counselor can make all the difference in
the world.
My heart goes out to you.... Best of
luck...
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cody198
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2007 Posts: 2
Violent Thaughts Posted: 11-14-07 00:12am
dear skaterguy777, i know what you are
going through because i have and am still
going through the same things, minus the
parent's divorce. it started with me when
one night, my mom was intoxicated(i
beleive she is an alchoholic) and i saw a
pair of sciscors. my mind jumped to
horrible violent thaughts. i have never
acted on these thaughts, but for years i
kept it to myself. i thaught for the
longest time that i was destined to become
a serial killer or something. eventuly i
talked to my dad. we went to a doctor and
i am going to a therapist tomorow. along
with my violent thaughts i felt lonlyness
and saddness. i remember reading
somewhere(on the internet) that violent
thaughts can be a symptom or effect of
depression. i think it would be best for
you to speak with someone you think you
can trust. for me, it was like a gigantic
weight was lifted from my shoulders.
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
My 2 Cents Posted: 11-19-07 11:22am
It almost sounds to me like you are afraid
that it will not work out again between
you parents and they again will seperate.
I think you are acting out your worries
because of that. This is not unusal and it
is also not usual for you to feel that you
were the cuase of the break-up. Which in
most if not all cases is not true. That I
think is why you are acting out the way
you are to your parents right now. Out of
fear.
The darkness thing might have come from
you childhood. Maybe something happened in
you past that has followed you. Something
might have scared you while you were in
bed sleeping. A bad dream? Could be a
multitude of things. Even to the point of
a make believe monster under you bed.
My advice to you is, that you parents love
you. And you should be very happy that
they are willing to try and make things
work. This does not happen often so I
would be thankful instead of acting out at
them.
I come from a broken home. I never knew my
father. I had alot to adapt too. And guess
what. I did it!
Carrie
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Linettez
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2007 Posts: 1
I Completely Understand... Posted: 11-27-07 09:32am
I was going through a bad depression and
had thoughts of hurting my dog, hurting my
family, etc. I have a fantastic family and
I love my dog to pieces, so I was really
really freaked out to say the least. I
felt totally ashamed but I talked to my
parents about my thoughts and it felt like
a weight was lifted. Together we found a
psychiatrist who specialized in
medications. He is awesome. he told me
that I am not a lunatic (he said lunatics
and serial killers don't worry about being
lunatics and serial killers- they just are
and it doesn't occur to them that there is
anything wrong with their behavior). This
was a huge comfort. He prescribed zoloft
and I have very very rarely had any of
those thoughts again. And I agree with one
of the other replies that says the bigger
deal you make of these thoughts-the bigger
and more consuming they become. It's like
when someone tells you that you can't
laugh- all you can think of is laughing.
if you tell yourself "don't think evil
thoughts, don't think evil thoughts"
that's all you'll be able to think of. I
hope that this helps. Take care.
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 11-27-07 10:34am
Now that is wonderful news! Please keep us
up to date on your progress OK. We care
and want to help you on this end too. So,
don't forget about us.
Best of luck,
Carrie
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RejuveNATION
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Nov 2007 Posts: 25 Location: , NY
I've Always Been Scared of Scary Movies Posted: 11-28-07 20:51pm
So now that I am an adult I don't watch
certain shows. Later when I am alone at
night I don't want to keep vivid memories
with bad thoughts. I watch shows like
House and Americas Top Model (Learn
watching others). CSI, Law & Order
are good but I had to cut down on them
because of the ..What was that factor.. I
was on pins and needles at times. Comedy:
King of Queens ... Pleasant Dreams
Please get some cousiling. I have
thoughts sometimes that are mean and I
don't know why I had that glance. Do
yourself a favor and be nice to the family
and animals because you can't take it
back. How would you like it if you were
the focus on senseless harm? ...Fill
yourself with good thoughts..
