Depression Forum - Violent, Obscured Thoughts

Mental Health > Depression Forum > Violent, Obscured Thoughts

Do you know how doctors define clinical depression? Learn more about this brain disorder and types of depression that doctors diagnose here....

Q: Violent, Obscured Thoughts

asked by: skaterguy777 on June 10th, 2006

New User

For about the past year or so I have noticed that I have very strange thoughts. My parents have recently got divorced and are getting back together, but it started before that. Whenever someone gets me something I always think about throwing it at a wall and screaming in their face. I know I would never do that, and I am grateful for what they have done, but I still think about it.

More recently, I have started to think about yelling at my parents and telling them I hate them, and moving out and going to a diffrent family. It makes me feel really guilty and really bad because I have the best family ever, but it still happends.

I also think about harming animals when i'm alone with one (i never have though), but I love animals.

What is wrong with me? I want to tell my dad but i'm scared he'll be mad at me, even though he is understanding. I am afraid that i'll get sent to jail or something, even though I know none of this will ever actually happen. I'm really scared, and I want to tell someone, but I don't want them think of me diffrent or think that i'm some crazy lunatic. What do I do?

Replies(4)

w0rldd0minat0r

replied on June 13th, 2006

Experienced User

I replied to other post

loopy-one

replied on June 15th, 2006

New User

Thoughts

I have had similar. Most of mine however are me being passive, like i'm just watching a film - not me but other people commiting violent things. Rarely I see myself doing anything. It is frightening and horrible and hard to switch off. My dad said he has sometimes had horrible bad words in his mind that do not come from him - my dad never ever swears, so for him this is so against his character.
The only way I can explain these thoughts is a loss of control or a fear of loss of control - of yourself or other people losing it. Its part of anxiety I think, it affects your thoughts and images in your mind you don't choose or want.
The point is - it concenrs you, you love animals and you are in control of your actions. The thoughts you are getting is an extension or exaggeration of your fears - losing control, especially the things you hate the most. For my dad and myself - it is things we hate the most that goes through our minds. It gets you off-guard though doesnt it, like when you're not even thinking about anything, do you find this too?
What I try to do is rationalise it, say "this isnt me, it is my anxiety" and I try to think of something positive and nice. I try to not worry about it and it soon passes. You're not going mad because you are aware of these thoughts, and you are aware it is not who you really are. Hold onto that.

anymouse

replied on July 6th, 2009

New User

I too have had a problem with this and I agree with loopy-one.. I just had a thought about punching my dog for no reason and became very upset after it flew threw my head, thoughts like that make me feel insane. but I think it's just fear of loss of control.

ConcernedAmerican

replied on August 22nd, 2009

New User

Every so often I'll get a flurry of bizarre thoughts, what I would look like after a car accident, going to a pet store and buying some puppies and then throwing them off a bridge or something, punching a coworker... But the thoughts are so transitory that I never entertain them. It's like they are occurring in some safe bubble that I am in control of. In my 27 years on the planet I've done a semi-good job of not acting on these mondo-bizarro kooky thoughts Smile

Learn About Us

Get Help

Join In

Do More

We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health
information:
verify here.

The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made. Schizophrenia health sitemap.
This page was last updated on January 1, 2009.
© 2008 eForums, Inc