Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

Living In Hell

Must Read
Do you know how doctors define clinical depression? Learn more about this brain disorder and types of depression that doctors diagnose here....
Can depression run in families? Can hormones really make you depressed? Yes! Learn more about causes and conditions of clinical depression here....
People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same symptoms. Do you know the signs and symptoms of depression? Read on to learn more....
I am so depressed I have actually weakened myself from crying so much. I have never felt so alone in my whole life. Everything I say or do is wrong. I am fifty two years old and have nothing to show for it. I don't know when my mind and my brain got so screwed up but it has. I feel like just ending it all but I won't I would probably do that wrong too thanks for listening
Did you find this post helpful?
First Helper whatdoesitmatter
|

replied June 7th, 2006
I'm sad too and i'm only 21 years old. This probably won't help you but i'm gonna say it anyways because it's the truth. 52 years old is still young in this day and age and ending it now would only mean you left nothing but a life you regret for others to remember you by. It is possible to turn things around and I would start by going to the doctor to get some medicine that just might help w/your depression. I have faith in you and I know that everything will work out in the end because you sound like a very nice person to me.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied June 7th, 2006
Re: Living In Hell
buttons119 wrote:
i am so depressed I have actually weakened myself from crying so much. I have never felt so alone in my whole life. Everything I say or do is wrong. I am fifty two years old and have nothing to show for it. I don't know when my mind and my brain got so screwed up but it has. I feel like just ending it all but I won't I would probably do that wrong too thanks for listening


hello buttons,

i just joined a few moments ago, and spotted your post. I could have written that post. I am 51, and am going through a difficult time now too.

You sound like you are hating yourself, not to mention blaming yourself...I've been there, and I sometimes still feel that way. It's so hard to reach "mid-life" especially when you look back and can't see anything you can feel proud of. You are here though, and that makes you a survivor. To come to this message board and write what you did is courageous, that in itself is an accomplishment. You are helping others by baring your soul. I immediately felt a kinship with you, and I just want to tell you I understand. I have been crying a lot lately too, sometimes I feel like my heart and soul are being ripped from my body. Nothing dramatic has happened to make me feel this way...I am just sad. I feel as if I am grieving....And I think I may be....Grieving my youth, grieving the fact that I haven't accomplished much. I do know that "what if's" and "should have's" are corrosive and that we need to learn to accept things as they are. We must try to live in the moment and not mourn for the past or wonder about the future. Until we live for this moment, right now, we will make our struggle harder.

Coming to boards like these and seeing that we are not alone is helpful. Reading self-help books is as well, and of course seeking professional help if you want it is never a bad idea.

Please take care of yourself, I hope that some of the darkness lifts soon.

“anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.” (author unknown)

love and peace,

shadow_self :)
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 31st, 2010
had enough!
God they say will help, i have seen nothing yet. I wana end it all I have sailed the world ive been the best looking man you ever seen. I have had the world by the balls and lost it all. 10 years ago I got married to an American girl I put on loads of wait, lost my boat got so involved with making money it took over my whole world GREED. I ENDED UP TAKING PAIN KILLERS AND THEN ADVANCED TO STRONG DRUGS OXY CONDONE, AND THEN THE BIG h. I have lost my wife house boat looks and I am now 44, back in England with NOTHING. I live in the most aggressive nabour hood lost my green card fiscally lost not taken away. I am a fat wana be, all I have is stores I can't help thinking how much of an adventure I was living and how happy I was. I can't see a way out, the depression has set in, my parents don't care I have no friends; sadly I am very intelligent I find this to make things worse .ignorance IS bliss. Right now I want to go a score a load of dope put it in a needle and shoot it up and just slip away. I have nothing worth living for no one would even miss me and that's a fact. I am a very complicated person, and find it hard to find people intelligent enough to even become a friend how much loneliness can one sole take? Its been ten 10 years and I feel like I am in jail, I think tonight might be the night I unlock my prison cell and let the sunlight in because this darkness is killing me slowly, and I cant face any more, I am not looking for attention just felt like telling someone good luck, because you are all going to need it. I have finally reached a point of no return i used to get a smile of a pretty girl, or the wind in the trees, blue water slapping against my boat. Diving wow the diving was fantastic the mountains everything good my life was so happy. Part of me is frightened, but its a very small part. I hope that this will set me free , i believe i have paid my dues and hopefully there is more.

|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied September 1st, 2010
From one soul to another
Someone posted earlier, and I had the opportunity to read it before it was removed. The odd thing was I don't recall making the post above ~ so was surprised to read my past words. I just want to say to anyone going through a dark time in their lives, please try to realize that life has ups and downs, and sometimes when we are in the very darkest of days we cannot see a light...yet it is there.
There are people who care about you, even though they've never met you. There are people who will reach out to you when you need it the most. I hope these words bring you some comfort, and some peace and I hope that I can offer you a glimmer of light/hope with these few words.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 5th, 2011
Hi SailingWave,

I will make it very concise and to the point. This is the summary of what I understood so far in my life:

1. There is no such thing or entity as god as depicted by religion. There no 'personal' god in other words.

2. As a whole, life has no holistic meaning. The concept of meaning is flawed and vague at most. If we drop that idead, we can start living in the present, instead of dwelling in past or looking upon the future.

3. Taking care of whatever body you still have is the only thing, that is always the right thing to do. Other than that, the concepts of ethics, morality and all are falwed and harmful to your happiness.

4. Eat, play and do whatver you like with whatever you still have until your last day. Life will end anyway. There is no big deal about it.

Accepting is happiness.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 5th, 2011
The Rub of Life
Hi SailingWave,

I will make it very concise and to the point. This is the summary of what I understood so far in my life:

1. There is no such thing or entity as god as depicted by religion. There no 'personal' god in other words.

2. As a whole, life has no holistic meaning. The concept of meaning is flawed and vague at most. If we drop that idead, we can start living in the present, instead of dwelling in past or looking upon the future.

3. Taking care of whatever body you still have is the only thing, that is always the right thing to do. Other than that, the concepts of ethics, morality and all are falwed and harmful to your happiness.

4. Eat, play and do whatver you like with whatever you still have until your last day. Life will end anyway. There is no big deal about it.

Accepting is happiness.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 11th, 2011
pain
the more u live the more u suffer......as buddha said
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 10th, 2012
I am suffering everyday from depression. I am lonely, bitter, & sad. I have no friends nobody to talk to. My world is very dark & grim. I try and stay strong & get out the darkness but I get sucked back into it. Everything started to crash down in September on the 16th when my boyfriend broke up with me for no reason or to chase some little girl. Ever since then people treated me different since I was in the hospital a lot. People see me as crazy so they stay away from me. I don't know what I did for that boy to hate me. It brings pain to my heart everytime I'm trying to be nice to him. I didn't ask for this life and I don't want it anymore. I'm always in the house it's driving me crazy. I don't have money to go out. I'm trying to look for a job that's not working. I'm lossing my mind I'm so lost I don't know which way to turn I think death is the better option for me. Life can go on withou me I'm a nobody anyway doesn't matter. I hate the fact I'm living here each day crying and suffering while every one else is happy or doing ok. Nobody is helping me I have no one to TRUST or to turn to. I made up my mind this is it I'm going to do it. I can't take life I hate it. Goodbye world Smile
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 17th, 2014
misery
I am so depressed.I have things, i have a loving wife. i got lots of love around me. yet i am still full of anger and depression. I know I need help but there is no one i feel can help me. some days i feel like dieing.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Tags: Depression, brain
Quick Reply