I dont seem to understand men. I told my
ex that I was still in love with him,
after the heart break im still recovering
from it. He said he didnt have those
feelings anymore and that was along time
ago. I couldnt do anything except take it
and suck it up. Okay so he comes back
from washington on friday night. The next
day at noon hes at my house. Why?? Do
they enjoy knowing that they still have us
and can get us back whenever they please?
Its like his a walking contridiction. If
your a female that has been through this
or a man that can explain to me what it is
he wants, id appreciate the advice!!!
|
Sarah020406
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2006 Posts: 86
Posted: 06-11-06 21:10pm
First off I haven't been through this but
I did help out a friend whos ex done the
same thing. Some guys (maybe all, I don't
know) enjoying knowing that even though
they don't want you they could still have
you if they did at some stage. It sounds
like this guy is messing you around just
tell him to buggar off. Or maybe he does
have feelings for you but isn't ready to
admit it, either way he prob ain't worth
the bother and you are better to put him
behind you and try to move on. Not much
help sorry :-)
|
littlesqueaks
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 296 Location: Caldwell, Idaho
Posted: 06-16-06 01:12am
I have been through what you are going
through. My ex had done the same thing to
me but was also seeing other girls at the
same time. If he did not find what he was
looking for through the other women he
would comr to see me. Our divorce was a
mutual decision but he was the one that
wanted it more I tried through the divorce
process to get him to agree to work it out
but he kept refuseing so I got a stronger
back bone and excepted it but yet when he
would come around for one thing only (sex)
I would give in.
We both had a hard time letting go of the
"comfort" of being with eachother for so
long, so when it was time to move on and
try to date other people I think it was a
fear and discomfort of being with someone
else.
You need to get out and make your self
sociable with more people of the oppisite
sex. The more you become comfortable
around new people the easier it is to let
go.
I spent several months out with my friends
at the bars dancing and haveing a good
time getting to know other people and also
having dates that when my ex came begging
me back I knew in my heart that we were
not meant to be.
I finally met a gentleman that I am madly
in love with and have spent 3 years with
him. Though it was a very short time
after my divorce I have found the one.
My ex and I have remained good friends for
the kids sake and we are both happy with
our current lives!!!!!! I hope this has
helped some. Just remember to get out and
get to know the new you because we all
change to be a different person after a
split. You become stronger and wizer..
Heather
|
littlesqueaks
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 296 Location: Caldwell, Idaho
Posted: 06-16-06 01:15am
I have been through what you are going
through. My ex had done the same thing to
me but was also seeing other girls at the
same time. If he did not find what he was
looking for through the other women he
would comr to see me. Our divorce was a
mutual decision but he was the one that
wanted it more I tried through the divorce
process to get him to agree to work it out
but he kept refuseing so I got a stronger
back bone and excepted it but yet when he
would come around for one thing only (sex)
I would give in.
We both had a hard time letting go of the
"comfort" of being with eachother for so
long, so when it was time to move on and
try to date other people I think it was a
fear and discomfort of being with someone
else.
You need to get out and make your self
sociable with more people of the oppisite
sex. The more you become comfortable
around new people the easier it is to let
go.
I spent several months out with my friends
at the bars dancing and haveing a good
time getting to know other people and also
having dates that when my ex came begging
me back I knew in my heart that we were
not meant to be.
I finally met a gentleman that I am madly
in love with and have spent 3 years with
him. Though it was a very short time
after my divorce I have found the one.
My ex and I have remained good friends for
the kids sake and we are both happy with
our current lives!!!!!! I hope this has
helped some. Just remember to get out and
get to know the new you because we all
change to be a different person after a
split. You become stronger and wizer..
Heather
|
lynn_2112
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2006 Posts: 5 Location: New Brunswick
Posted: 07-31-06 18:49pm
I have been through that as well and all I
know is you need to move on. Guys do find
pleasure knowing they can have you back if
they want to. I was in a bad relationship
for almost 2 years and it was hard to let
go. When I did I found my fiance now and
I have never been happier!!! Always
remember that there is someone out there
for everyone and sometimes it just takes
time. You will find him and be happy. I
did not think I ever would and found my
man when I least expected it. Enjoy life
and friends and a good man who will treat
you like you deserve to be treated will
come along and you will be glad you rid
the ex for good.
Keep your head up high and others will
notice!!
|
singledad
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 86 Location: New Mexico
Re: What a Man Really Wants? Posted: 08-22-06 15:20pm
cas0514
wrote:
why?? Do they enjoy
knowing that they still have us and can
get us back whenever they please?
yes.
|
TPQ
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2006 Posts: 3 Location: Isle of Wight
Re: What a Man Really Wants? Posted: 08-22-06 15:50pm
cas0514
wrote:
i dont seem to understand
men. I told my ex that I was still in
love with him, after the heart break im
still recovering from it. He said he
didnt have those feelings anymore and that
was along time ago. I couldnt do
anything except take it and suck it up.
Okay so he comes back from washington on
friday night. The next day at noon hes
at my house. Why?? Do they enjoy
knowing that they still have us and can
get us back whenever they please? Its
like his a walking contradiction. If
your a female that has been through this
or a man that can explain to me what it is
he wants, id appreciate the
advice!!!
ok, to answer your question directly.
What a man really wants depends on what
man, in what culture. You can generalise,
but ultimately you need to focus on the
man in question. When you say you
"don’t seem to understand men" that is
because you can't, because men (as a
gender) are too diverse to understand as
some kind of homogenous group. If you are
having a hard time understanding the
actions of a particular man, it might be
worth thinking of him as an individual,
rather than a member of a group. Gender
does play a large part in many people’s
lives, but it is only one part, among
many, that make us who we are.
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-22-06 16:33pm
Darn right it hurts to be hurt! That does
not mean that it is the end of the world,
eventhough it seems like it at times, we
can still move on! It just means that we
have chosen the wrong partner for the rest
of our lives and that their is someone
better waiting out there for us. If you
have kids, you will always hold that
special bond with each other and you
should never allow the kids to feel that
it is their fault as a lot of times they
do but the next step is difficult as you
are used to being married and dating is
different and getting out their and
meeting someone is very difficult and if
you date someone from a bar he might have
a lot of problems or maybe he is just like
you or if you meet someone at work, that
is difficult, wherever you go, it may not
be easy but then again after you have been
married it is difficult being single and I
learned a long time ago that if set the
person straight in the beginning, it makes
the relationship somewhat easier but we
are all different.
The best to all of you!
|
Mike55520
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2006 Posts: 4
Re: What a Man Really Wants? Posted: 11-12-06 07:25am
cas0514
wrote:
i dont seem to understand
men. I told my ex that I was still in
love with him, after the heart break im
still recovering from it. He said he
didnt have those feelings anymore and that
was along time ago. I couldnt do
anything except take it and suck it up.
Okay so he comes back from washington on
friday night. The next day at noon hes
at my house. Why?? Do they enjoy
knowing that they still have us and can
get us back whenever they please? Its
like his a walking contridiction. If
your a female that has been through this
or a man that can explain to me what it is
he wants, id appreciate the
advice!!!
unfortunately, some of us are suckers, and
some of us simply like that feeling of
control, but a lot of us arent like that,
ive personally had a similar situation
with an ex, where I broke things off,
hurting her badly,only to rethink the
decision over the next day or 2 and
decide that its not what I wanted, now
this is where most guys are different than
myself, I have no problem admitting I was
wrong to a loved one, however most guys
want to project false confidence and
control, thus if questioned on their
actions will probably not admit they are
at fault, luckly she met me with a fair
amount of understanding and eventually
forgave me, but sometimes that simply
doesnt happen.
So, to bypass the boring story I told,
some guys feel bad for hurting you, so
they come back
some are just suckers and want to feel in
control
some decide they acted unfairly, or
otherwords decide they made the wrong
choice
heck some of us( albeit the not so smart
ones in most cases) might just think
everything will be "fine and dandy" and
that you wont mind hanging out as friends
so soon after.
