First off I haven't been through this but I did help out a friend whos ex done the same thing. Some guys (maybe all, I don't know) enjoying knowing that even though they don't want you they could still have you if they did at some stage. It sounds like this guy is messing you around just tell him to buggar off. Or maybe he does have feelings for you but isn't ready to admit it, either way he prob ain't worth the bother and you are better to put him behind you and try to move on. Not much help sorry :-)

I have been through what you are going through. My ex had done the same thing to me but was also seeing other girls at the same time. If he did not find what he was looking for through the other women he would comr to see me. Our divorce was a mutual decision but he was the one that wanted it more I tried through the divorce process to get him to agree to work it out but he kept refuseing so I got a stronger back bone and excepted it but yet when he would come around for one thing only (sex) I would give in.

We both had a hard time letting go of the "comfort" of being with eachother for so long, so when it was time to move on and try to date other people I think it was a fear and discomfort of being with someone else.

You need to get out and make your self sociable with more people of the oppisite sex. The more you become comfortable around new people the easier it is to let go.

I spent several months out with my friends at the bars dancing and haveing a good time getting to know other people and also having dates that when my ex came begging me back I knew in my heart that we were not meant to be.

I finally met a gentleman that I am madly in love with and have spent 3 years with him. Though it was a very short time after my divorce I have found the one.

My ex and I have remained good friends for the kids sake and we are both happy with our current lives!!!!!! I hope this has helped some. Just remember to get out and get to know the new you because we all change to be a different person after a split. You become stronger and wizer.. Heather

I have been through what you are going through. My ex had done the same thing to me but was also seeing other girls at the same time. If he did not find what he was looking for through the other women he would comr to see me. Our divorce was a mutual decision but he was the one that wanted it more I tried through the divorce process to get him to agree to work it out but he kept refuseing so I got a stronger back bone and excepted it but yet when he would come around for one thing only (sex) I would give in.

We both had a hard time letting go of the "comfort" of being with eachother for so long, so when it was time to move on and try to date other people I think it was a fear and discomfort of being with someone else.

You need to get out and make your self sociable with more people of the oppisite sex. The more you become comfortable around new people the easier it is to let go.

I spent several months out with my friends at the bars dancing and haveing a good time getting to know other people and also having dates that when my ex came begging me back I knew in my heart that we were not meant to be.

I finally met a gentleman that I am madly in love with and have spent 3 years with him. Though it was a very short time after my divorce I have found the one.

My ex and I have remained good friends for the kids sake and we are both happy with our current lives!!!!!! I hope this has helped some. Just remember to get out and get to know the new you because we all change to be a different person after a split. You become stronger and wizer.. Heather

I have been through that as well and all I know is you need to move on. Guys do find pleasure knowing they can have you back if they want to. I was in a bad relationship for almost 2 years and it was hard to let go. When I did I found my fiance now and I have never been happier!!! Always remember that there is someone out there for everyone and sometimes it just takes time. You will find him and be happy. I did not think I ever would and found my man when I least expected it. Enjoy life and friends and a good man who will treat you like you deserve to be treated will come along and you will be glad you rid the ex for good.
Keep your head up high and others will notice!!

yes.

ok, to answer your question directly. What a man really wants depends on what man, in what culture. You can generalise, but ultimately you need to focus on the man in question. When you say you "don’t seem to understand men" that is because you can't, because men (as a gender) are too diverse to understand as some kind of homogenous group. If you are having a hard time understanding the actions of a particular man, it might be worth thinking of him as an individual, rather than a member of a group. Gender does play a large part in many people’s lives, but it is only one part, among many, that make us who we are.

Darn right it hurts to be hurt! That does not mean that it is the end of the world, eventhough it seems like it at times, we can still move on! It just means that we have chosen the wrong partner for the rest of our lives and that their is someone better waiting out there for us. If you have kids, you will always hold that special bond with each other and you should never allow the kids to feel that it is their fault as a lot of times they do but the next step is difficult as you are used to being married and dating is different and getting out their and meeting someone is very difficult and if you date someone from a bar he might have a lot of problems or maybe he is just like you or if you meet someone at work, that is difficult, wherever you go, it may not be easy but then again after you have been married it is difficult being single and I learned a long time ago that if set the person straight in the beginning, it makes the relationship somewhat easier but we are all different.
The best to all of you!

unfortunately, some of us are assholes, and some of us simply like that feeling of control, but a lot of us arent like that, ive personally had a similar situation with an ex, where I broke things off, hurting her badly,only to rethink the decision over the next day or 2 and decide that its not what I wanted, now this is where most guys are different than myself, I have no problem admitting I was wrong to a loved one, however most guys want to project false confidence and control, thus if questioned on their actions will probably not admit they are at fault, luckly she met me with a fair amount of understanding and eventually forgave me, but sometimes that simply doesnt happen.



So, to bypass the boring story I told,
some guys feel bad for hurting you, so they come back
some are just assholes and want to feel in control
some decide they acted unfairly, or otherwords decide they made the wrong choice

heck some of us( albeit the not so smart ones in most cases) might just think everything will be "fine and dandy" and that you wont mind hanging out as friends so soon after.

I hope this helps