Hey guys,

well, i've seen a couple of stories on here about men who lost their wives because they didn't treat her right. I shook my head when I realized that these men were dumped for the same things my husband does to me!

We are newly weds, we lived together for 2 years before we got married. I make money from home, online. I cook, do the grocery shopping, keep the house clean, do all the laundry..... Hubby manages a resturaunt. He works 12 hours a day (11am-11pm). I don't complain because I realize that it is necessary. All I ask is that when he comes home, we enjoy quality time together.

However, the second he comes home, he runs streight upstairs to our neighbor's house to play poker and have a beer or two. He will stay up there from 11pm to 2am, then come home, eat dinner real quick and go streight to bed. If he comes home any earlier than 2am, he spends the rest of his time glued incoherantly to the computer, playing online poker, and then goes streight to bed.

The only time he pays me any attention is after we fight or when I pack up a few of my belongings and start heading for the door, to go to my mother's house. All of a sudden, I get all his attention, he loves me so much and I am soooooooo important to him. But when I put my stuff back, he goes right back to his usual self again.

He has a hard time focusing on just me. Even when we are out to a (caugh, caugh) "romantic" dinner, just the two of us, he just talks on his cell phone to his friends the whole time, or chews a waiter's ear off all night. If we go for a walk together by the shore on 1st street, he can't hold my hand and anjoy the view--- he walks ten feet ahead of me, frantically looking for a bar that he can run into and drink beer, play pool and poker.

At home, if I try to talk to him, he just says "hang on, let me finish this poker hand" or "hang on, let me finish watching this show."

and see, i'm the educated type. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, etc. I've had 3 years of college, i'm into psychology (i want to be a counselor), i'm into the arts (singing, piano, dance, music of the 60's-80's, ceramics)--- so you can imagine how being limited to poker, bars and an incoherant male is driving me insane!

So why am I with him? Well, because his good side is unlike any other guy I have met!!

He doesn't cheat on me, he helps anyone who is in trouble, he's an excellent business man (i'm telling you, he's got a real knack and a ton of potential), he's really sensitive--like if you tell him a sad story, or put him on a guilt trip, he will actually break down crying!! He doesn't believe in divorce at all......I mean, in some areas, he's just so old-fashioned in good ways!

He brings home roses for me every now and then on his days off. He has workers from the resturaunt he manages deliver some food to the house for me, **every day**. He calls me from work every hour, to say he misses me and to ask what/how i'm doing. He cried during our wedding vows.

Every time we have a fight, we spend a good hour or so hugging and kissing each other. Then he admits that he is neglecting me, tells me I am a wonderful wife/person, that he's terrified of loosing me and I do deserve better treatment.....However, I don't think we should have to have an exausting, anger-filled fight in order to be that way with each other!!!

Sex, however......We're sorta struggling with that. He kinda rushes through it. Like he just gets overly excited and eager, and can't focus on learning what my needs are in that area. It's over pretty quickly. I think he just does it to release stress really fast and then go to sleep. When I try to slow him down and teach him, he gets really impatient and frustrated.

Is there any way I can make our good times last longer/more frequent? Improve our sexual experience? Is there any way I can get him to choose me over his buddies and poker more often? I really feel that the good parts of our marrieage are deffinitely worth saving.