This is my first post..
Here is a post from my journal on myspace about how it was to go with out meds for a week. (take note that I usually dont swear)
"i'm all messed up. I slept for 12 hours and couldnt wake up until alex came home and told me my meds were downstairs. Unfortunately not all of them..I think im going to have switch doctors, because this is getting rediculous.
When I got up I felt dizzy as medical question, had a huge headache, and my eyes hurt in the light. It's like I had a killer hangover.
Not to mention my emotions are raging all over the place.. One minute I cant stop laughing next im crying and feel like a helpless child. I hate that alex has to see me this way and take care of me. But I know that im lucky hes mine because I dont think many others would be so understanding.
My senses are ultrasensitive..Which is why my eyes hurt. Every touch makes me jump and everything tastes weird(food). I couldnt even have alex the way I wanted, because it was too intense. Which sucks because im all amped off meds.
Being quiet and pissed is the only way I can control my emotions.
I hate this."
people that are close to you: you still love them. You want to be around them, but sometimes (depending if your manic or depressed) they bug the hell out of you or you dont want them to see you so messed up. I apologize like crazy everytime I come to my senses and realize I hurt someones feelings. Some people are to embarressed or think you wont forgive them. Maybe they secretly think that you shouldnt forgive them.
A good friend should be patient and know that most of us don't mean to hurt others and dont like to. Listen to us, try to get us to do something active to get out of our funk or do something relaxing to calm us down. I know that when i'm not feeling right, the last thing I want is to be alone. It makes me more depressed. I need someone who wont judge me and will be my rock while I try to control my swings.
Try letting them know that you need them as a friend, and being around them makes you happy. Let them know, that you know, they dont mean everything they say and you wont let it hurt you.
