My Brother Is a Heroin Addict.. Please Help (Page 1)

To my knowledge, only a judge can send your brother to involuntary rehab. Such a time needs to be court ordered. What state do you live in?

first I want to say I used oxeys to herion to fentanol I used all together 8 years I have been clean two years no I know you must know the only way is if he wants to be clean only if he wants to try the salvation rehabs thy are free a way to detox I bought meathdon on the and I winged my self three days example I took 40mg the first day second day I waited till I with drawed then took 20mg the third the same then took 10mg now if he is using alot the dose may need to be higher but the truth with being clean is him wanting it he has to hit rock bottom you mom has to let him go if none of you do he will never get clean I mean tough love and you have to take that chance in getting the next phone call because its better than him killing him self by over dosing I telling you if you dont wash your hand of him and let him hit rock bottom like him sleeping on the street you will never help him herion takes the pain away and I tell you you dont have any feeling with any thing not just pain so he does not care but to get his next fix the best way is let him go serious or you will lose him what is he injects bad drugs that can kill him so what is better you and your family letting him go or him killing him self well I wish you luck

first I want to say I used oxeys to herion to fentanol I used all together 8 years I have been clean two years no I know you must know the only way is if he wants to be clean only if he wants to try the salvation rehabs thy are free a way to detox I bought meathdon on the and I winged my self three days example I took 40mg the first day second day I waited till I with drawed then took 20mg the third the same then took 10mg now if he is using alot the dose may need to be higher but the truth with being clean is him wanting it he has to hit rock bottom you mom has to let him go if none of you do he will never get clean I mean tough love and you have to take that chance in getting the next phone call because its better than him killing him self by over dosing I telling you if you dont wash your hand of him and let him hit rock bottom like him sleeping on the street you will never help him herion takes the pain away and I tell you you dont have any feeling with any thing not just pain so he does not care but to get his next fix the best way is let him go serious or you will lose him what is he injects bad drugs that can kill him so what is better you and your family letting him go or him killing him self well I wish you luck

Methidone clinic! Only answer if he is that bad. I wish him all the luck.

Carrie

Hi, I have found that educating myself and going to supportive/support groups is a big step in living and coping with this awful way of life. Al-anon, Nar-anon, have alot of useful tools, if you can and will choose them. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Hello, All the support groups are great. In addition, the County has a free program and assessment. It is located on Broadway in Sacramento. the have inpatient and outpatient assistance.

Nar Anon is great. but dancy4myself is right. We cannot do the work. The person addicted has to hit so low most of the time that they do want to get clean and stick to it.

Be supportive, be encouraging, but you cannot force them at all. That is the sad part about it. good luck to your brother.

I have a similar story. My brother was first on oxys then went to methadone and just recently on suboxone. He has also been to rehabs and even did that expensive pill in the abdomen treatment.. nothing has worked. He also steals from my family. My dad has now been diagnosed with cancer, and my brother is still lying and stealing from my parents. He is 35 and still living at home. He also just recently got in trouble with the law and I conviced my parents to leave him in jail for 3 days.. which they did, and supposidly he is now off of the suboxone, but I have a hard time believing that, as I've read all of the withdrawal symptoms, and he doesn't seem to have any of them. He just recently acquired a girlfriend, who seems to be just as bad as him, she is also always calling my parents house and being rude and obnoxious... all of these things I wish we could avoid with my father being so ill. I have come home from my travels to spend time with my father and mother, but it seems that I am being a babysitter for my brother when they go out somewhere. They are the same - and do not want to kick him out. They have gone to the meetings and realise they are enabling him - but, they just DON'T know what to do.. we have tried everything.

Sorry, not much advice for you here! I was just venting.
Good luck with your brother.

Hi,
I just read what you had written here.. I know it was a while ago and I hope your father is doing ok but I can't believe how similar your situation is to mine. My brother started with the same drug and continued with the additional ones you listed.. my father was also diagnosed with cancer recently.. my parents have tried everything in the book besides kicking him out on the street (I know everyone says thats what you have to do blah blah hes gotta hit rock bottom yatiyahh.. well none of them have EVER been through ANYTHING like this or even had a family as loving and close as mine). I feel like a babysitter constantly and if not I'm my mothers shoulder to cry on when my dad is sick or not ready to get emotional again that day about the same crap as usual. I'm stuck in the middle. He's only 23, i'll be 21 soon but i feel at least 6 years older than him. It's almost like throughout the past four years he was supposed to grow and learn new things from, he instead just stopped... stopped listening, stopped thinking for himself, stopped seeing anything around him.. anything that is besides a plan for the next fix. I can't take this anymore... just when you think your getting used to it and the next time isn't going to hurt as much you realize its never gonna stop hurting. I just don't want to see my parents like this anymore!!! Sorry I had to let that out finally

To my knowledge, and with my experience with friends being on drugs, you can't help someone until they realize that they need help and admit it themselves. Other than that, you're just wasting time and effort.

Is it really a wasted time and effort?

That is what my parents have been asking themselves for years. They are convinced that if they haven't been here for him, he would be dead by now. In a very obvious way, they are enabling him, but as they see it, they would rather he has a place to come home too - - rather than letting him rot on the streets.

I do agree however, that yes - you cannot help someone until they want to help themselves...

I think your parents are doing the right thing by being there for him and making sure that he has a place to stay, but your brother is going to do what he wants to do regardless. However, if one day he does end up dead on the street, just know it's not you or your parents fault, and that's something your parents will have to realize. Who knows? Maybe he will come to his senses one day and want to be helped, but for now, if he doesn't see the problem and he enjoys his addiction, then yes, it is a waste of effort to try and help him.

i have two brothers addicted and they need immidiate help... i cant find any help for them.... they have no medical. they have both reciently od'd. one was left for dead by supposed friends and the other, i walked in on him not breathing.. plz help me with this

I know what you're going through. My brothers are both severely addicted and I honestly don't know what to do. I feel compelled to move out even though that isn't at all legally possible. Anything would be better than being here, but I don't want to avoid the problem. I need to face it and try to get some help for them and my family. It's ruining us all. Right now my brothers and mom are arguing and yelling in the kitchen, I can't take this. None of us can. Please help me find some answer...

I have recently battled with heroine addiction and I am 71 days sober today.Please feel free to email me with any and all questions comments or concerns. I was your typical " I don't need help" case...

Thank God I'm alive

My brother has been a heroine addict for 16 yrs. WWFEW I said it. I only tell extremly close ppl thought I suspect others know.He panhandels on the streets with a homeless sign. My brother is like a son to me: 7 years younger. he was born w/ medical complications, and had medical problems up until about the age of 4. This is killing my family,his girlfriend,(or rather ex girlfriend)and me. He is at rock bottom, has been time & time again. He always manages to get lucky. I don't feel he has much luck left. My boyfriend Is sick of hearing the same thing though he is always ready to listen, and sympathasize.My kids 21,& 10 both know now. I am going through hell myself here though most ppl don't know how much I LET it hurt me. So if someone wants to vent, and let me vent I think it would be helpful. Especially with a screen between us.

I can speak from experience since I am a recovering addict. As long as addicts have some one enabling and supporting their lifestyle, along with no severe consequences, there is no reason compelling enough to stop. Even though in our minds we want to stop. As tough as it may seem, he needs consequences. And you dont have to help support his addiction. What I mean is, get him out of your house and life as long as he is living that way. Tough love.

And there are help groups available to help families of addicts, which sounds like a good idea for you and your family.

Thank you I do appreciate your advice, and congratulations on quitting! My only support is very rarely buying a meal @ McDonalds so that we can sit & talk about detox, rehabs etc. If I get lucky he will agree sometimes... Well actually I sent him 2 pack's of cig's while he did a 3 week program that I sectioned him to. I don't give cash. I realize he will sell what he can. He doesn't come to my home. He has hit rock bottom hard, and many times. Has been homeless,gotten bad things, been beat up, dirty skinny etc. Don"t want 2 write more. How can I let him go? I have cut off ties as far as cash a place to stay even clean clothes long long ago. I can't find support groups. I am sick,out of work, and I think about him all day...

Thank you! In 8 more days I will have 8 years clean and sober. I can still remember what it was like wanting to die just like it was yesterday.

All you can do is pray for him. He may have hit some bottoms, but apparently not bad enough. One thing to remember is we addicts may do some unthinkable things hurting friends and family, but it's only because we are sick. Inside us is still that good person, but without getting clean, no one gets to see it.

What city are you in and I will find you some help groups?

Congratulations!!!!!! You should be proud of yourself!
I did not mean to put him down. I love him regardless. I know he is sick. I know that great person inside!
I am in MASS.
Thank you again.

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i as well need help ,helping my brother.he has been an addict for about 10 yrs.where or when does tough love work ?as being an inabler i cant see myself stopping.just thinking that he might od or getting that phone call it seems to be easier giving him what he wants.hes killing everyone around him and i cant and never will understand why he dosnt love himself or us enough to stop.i hold my tounge from saying alot of things to him because i dont want to hurt him anymore than hes hurting himself or the hurt he might feel that he knows that hes unable to do it for us..if anyone knows anything or give me any suggestions please help me .im unable to sleep just thinking about what hes doing to himself and how hes allowing the one person that brought him here my mother to watch him kill himself right in front of her . please helllllllllllllpppppppppp

I am afraid the only way your brother will get off the drugs is when he is ready. I was addicted to opiates for 10 years i was introduced the that world when i met me ex partner I never for one minute thought I would ever do drugs especially opiates but I did. I ended up on methadone on and off for 9 years although we were both on drugs we both still worked and led a double life we had so much pressure on us as we didn't want to tell our family and friends through being ashamed. 18 months ago my mother found my methadone in my suitcase when i was staying for Christmas and she asked me and I told her everything I had been heroin free for months by then but was still using now and again I knew I had to break free from the people that were surrounding me so ( months ago I left town and moved 250 miles away i recently did a methadone detox at home and am now on subutex and hopefully be detoxing off them within the next few months it can be done it is hard work but achievable. I had hit my rock bottom and that was depression i was so unhappy i had lost myself completely and was living a lie I also have a son whom I have brought up he is amazing and he makes me want to be a drug free person. Your brother will not be drug free unless he wants to do it everyone's rock bottom is different all you can do is be there for him be a support network it is essential to an addict to have support. I really wish you and your brother all the luck in the world and I hope he quickly chooses life over drugs as it is so worth it.

Thanks be to everyone who shared their stories. Living with an addict is nothing shy of a horror.
I have not one, but two addict brothers. One being a heroin addict, the other a crack cocaine addict,
My family has lived a nightmare for the past nine years, it's to the point my mother and I literally talk about funeral arrangements on a regular basis ... Because we know it's only a matter of time.
Trying to convince my father tough love is the only option at this point is like talking to a wall. The resentment that I feel towards my only two siblings is unbearable at times..the way my parents and my own lives have been ripped to shreds. I hate them for making my parents feel like failures at the only thing that was ever important to then.. Being parents.
Where do I go from here? Just wait untill I get the phone call that one of them is dead? Shut them out of my life completely? How do I move on in my life as a single child?
I'm certain God didn't intend it to be this way.. So how do I give up on them? .