Told My Friend a Deep Secret And Now She May Never Speak to Posted: 06-01-06 22:59pm
I was 16 when I got pregnant by a guy I
thought was mr.Right in the air force but
come to find out he was mr.Wrong.. I
had found out he had three other girls
pregnant my age and he had been sleeping
with a 14 and 15 year old which where I
live is child molesting. Now I did
nto find this out till a few months into
my pregnancy but when I first suspected I
was pregnant at 4 weeks I really wanted to
terminate my pregnancy and I new it would
not be killing anyone because at 4 weeks a
heart is not beating so nothing is thier,
but they wanted 300 bucks for it and where
was I going to get that kind of money at
16 in just a week?
I practically begged my sons dad for money
to do it but he refused and I told him
when I got to six weeks it would be to
late because the childs heart would be
beating and he still refused which was
making no sense to me because he did not
even want this child.
Two weeks later I told my parents and best
friend and I told them I was keeping it,
the messed up part is when I told him I
was 6 weeks and had told my parents he
then offered to pay for me to terminate my
baby, its like he wanted me to k*** our
baby.
Now my son is almost two and I recently
told my friend about what I had done, I
had never told anyone else because I was
so afraid I would lose everyone close to
me including my parents. Just a year
before I got pregnant my cousins ex had a
abortion and my whole family thinks of her
a cold blooded killer and I did not want
to be looked at as that.
When I told my friend she asked what was
the matter with me and how could I even
think about terminating the baby. I
think now she will never speak to me
again, I have tried calling her a few
times and no answer, she always picks up
when I call.
I feel bad now that I told her this
because we have been like sisters for 9
years and now I am afraid she will never
speak to me again. The stupid thing is
she has been pregnant like four times in
two years and the first tme she claimed
she had an abortion due to a tubal baby
but her mom claims doctors did something
to her so she would lose the baby and not
be able to carry children anymore all
because she was pregnant by a blck man.
I do not know what to beleive and I am
seriosuly thinking she had an abortion
because does the whole doctor story make
any damn sense? A doctor could lose
thier licence for doing that and get a
nifty prison sentence.
The thing that is really scaring me is
what if she goes to my parents with this
information? My parents would never
look at me or speak to me.
I wish a lot that I had misscarried or
had the money to terminate my pregnancy
before the 6th week because it is so hard.
Yes my parents help a lot but that
does not make it any better. I am now
19 and all my friends are having fun and I
hate it and then I do have friends who
have kids but unlike me they are happy,
thier childs dads are in thier lifes and
love them to death while my sons dad is
sitting behind bars in a state thats god
know show long from here denying my son
and is going to be in jail for 14-18
years. What did I do in life to not
deserve a happy ending like my friends
got?
:cry: I honestly can not really name any
happy times with me and my son. With
most parents they hate to be away from
thier kids where with me I love being away
from him and it is the only time I am
happy, when I go over a friends I do not
want to come back because I get to be 19
and stay up all night and party and sleep
in all day.
I just dont know what to freaking think
about anything, sometimes I think I was
right for thinking about termintating my
pregnancy and then sometimes I think you
s*** b*** how could you even think that
:cry:
|
Moo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Feb 2006 Posts: 1066 Location: London
Thanks: 21
Thanked:111
Posted: 06-02-06 04:10am
Quote:
when I told my
friend she asked what was the matter with
me and how could I even think about
terminating the baby. I think now she
will never speak to me again, I have tried
calling her a few times and no answer, she
always picks up when I call.
I feel bad now that I told her this
because we have been like sisters for 9
years and now I am afraid she will never
speak to me
again.
i'm afriad to say that she's not a real
friend. In all honesty I can't even
understand why she's ignoring you - the
fact was that you thought about having an
abortion. Even if she's against
termination that's no reason for her to
react the way she did when you mentioned
you'd simply considered it - you didn't
have an abortion, you had your son so she
has no reason to be acting that way.
Quote:
the stupid thing
is she has been pregnant like four times
in two years and the first tme she claimed
she had an abortion due to a tubal baby
but her mom claims doctors did something
to her so she would lose the baby and not
be able to carry children anymore all
because she was pregnant by a blck man. I
do not know what to beleive and I am
seriosuly thinking she had an abortion
because does the whole doctor story make
any damn
sense?
i have no idea what to make of that.
Maybe her reaction was to do with her own
circumstance?
Quote:
the thing that is
really scaring me is what if she goes to
my parents with this information? My
parents would never look at me or speak to
me.
from reading your posts in the other forum
i'm guessing your family are pretty strict
about this but the fact is that you didn't have
an abortion, you only considered
it. That is no reason
to disown your child, it is no reason for
you to have all of this guilt eating you
up inside.
Quote:
i wish a lot that
I had misscarried or had the money to
terminate my pregnancy before the 6th week
because it is so
hard.
i can only imagine how hard it is to have
a child so young but being a teenage mum
doesn't mean that you cannot enjoy life.
It does sound as though you've got it
pretty tough with your sons fatherbut it's
entirely possible to meet someone else.
You're only 19, you've got the rest of
your life ahead of you. The right man
wont be put off by the fact you had a
child at a young age or by the fact that
you though about having an abortion.
Quote:
I honestly can
not really name any happy times with me
and my son.
have you spoken to anyone about this? I
mean a professional, a doctor or a
therapist? Did you have ppd/pnd?
Quote:
i just dont know
what to freaking think about anything,
sometimes I think I was right for thinking
about termintating my pregnancy and then
sometimes I think you s*** b*** how could
you even think
that
i apologise in advance if this sounds
harsh or blunt but the fact is that you
didn't have an abortion, you continued the
pregnancy. You have to stop living in the
past and focusing on that time. However
much we may want to go back and do tings
differently the reality is that we can't
so we have to make the best of the present
so that we don't live our lives wondering
"what if?"
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-02-06 17:55pm
You cannt live your life by would have,
could have should have, you must go on in
life to try and work your way out of your
parents home, have a life and a home of
your own, your friend does not sound like
a very good friend to me, you need to
start building a life with your child and
learn to be happy. Someone will come
along in life that you will be happy wwith
that will except you amd your child but
don't be in any hurry.
I wish you the best!
We are here for you.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-02-06 18:25pm
Have you considered adoption? Now don't
everyone attack me; but isn't it legal for
a parent to give their child up for
adoption if they feel they cannot care for
it, and they want it to have a better home
than the one they can provide? It's
already been 2 years; I do not see this
girl's relationship with her child
improving; in fact, I only seeing it
tunring into a classic case of child
abuse. This is the right place for
adoption.
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Chrissy87
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005 Posts: 53 Location: dundalk
Posted: 06-05-06 15:44pm
I would never abuse my child and I do not
believe someone would actually say that.
I am against hitting a child under any
circumstance. My cousin (the same one
who's ex had an abortion) got married to
this girl who I do not even understand why
he married because she hates children yet
my cousin has two and one lives with him.
It was not to long after my son was born
they were living in my grandmas upstairs
apartment and I heard her hit my cousins
oldest daughter erica who was 3 at the
time, I ran upstairs and started yelling
at her and I wanted so bad to just jump on
her and start hitting her but I new I
could not do that because erica was their
and I would never do something like that
in front of a child so I just gave her a
piece of my mind and took erica and
left.
I did look into adoption and I mentioned
it to my mom and she started crying over
it, I was going to possibly tell her about
me wanting to terminate my pregnancy
earlier in my pregnancy but seeing how
upset she got when I mentioned adoption
she would probably have a damn heart
attack if I mentioned it. I also could
not do adoption because their are people
who adopt children and kill them or abuse
them and I did not want to be one of those
moms who gives their kid up for adoption
then 5 years later see them on the news as
dead.
Yes I did not terminate my pregnancy so
she really has no reason to be angry and
she did end up calling me late last night,
she claimed she did not answer her phone
because her battery was dead but I think
it was because she was angry with me and
did not want to hurt my feelings by saying
that she was.
I honestly do think that I had ppd but I
had never went to a doctor to see if I had
actually had it. I am planning on going
to see a therapist soon and hopefully it
will help.
Thank you all for your help
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-05-06 19:08pm
Their are more types of abuse than just
hiting a child. Their is emotional
abuse, your child can see it when you are
not happy and their is also verbal abuse.
You seem to be keeping this child because
your family wants or insists that you do,
more as a punishment like thing, you
should keep this child because you want to
and because he makes you happy and please
do not think I am trying to jump down your
throat.
