A woman and a baby were in the
> > doctor's examining room, waiting
for the
> > doctor to come in for the baby's
first
> > exam.
> >
> >
> > the doctor arrived, examined the
baby,
> > checked his weight, and being a
little
> > concerned, asked if the baby was
> > breast-fed or bottle-fed.
> >
> > "breast-fed" she replied.
> > "well, strip down to your
waist," the
> > doctor ordered. She did. He
pinched her
> > nipples, then pressed, kneaded,
and
> > rubbed both breasts for a while
in a
> > detailed examination.
> >
> >
> > motioning to her to get dressed,
he said,
> > "no wonder this baby is
underweight.
> > you don't have any milk."
> >
> > "i know," she said, "i'm his
grandma, but i'm glad I
> came."
an american man is riding a train in a
european country. His seatmate knows some
english, and they end up chatting. The
seatmate asks if the american has
children. The american says no.
"ah, so sad," says the european. "your
wife, she is impregnable?"
"well, um, that's not exactly the word,"
says the american.
"oh!" interrupts the european. "i mean,
she is inconceivable?"
"um, not quite --" the american begins,
only to be interrupted again.
"oh, no, that isn't right," says the
european. "she is, what is it, she is
unbearable?"
"well, actually, that's pretty much sums
it up," says the american.
------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
a pregnant woman from washington, d.C.
Gets in a car accident and falls into a
deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months,
when she wakes up she sees that she is no
longer pregnant and frantically asks the
doctor about her baby. The doctor
replies, "ma'am you had twins! A boy and
a girl. Your brother from maryland came
in and named them."
the woman thinks to herself, "no, not my
brother... He's an fool!"
she asks the doctor, "well, what's the
girl's name?"
"denise."
"wow, that's not a bad name, I like it!
What's the boy's name?"
"denephew. "
------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
brenda, pregnant with her first child, was
paying a visit to her obstetrician's
office. When the exam was over, she shyly
began, "my husband wants me to ask you if
its still okay..."
"i know, I know." the doctor said, placing
a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "i get
asked that all the time. Sex is fine
until late in the pregnancy."
"no, that's not it at all," brenda
confessed. "he wants to know if I can
still mow the lawn."
