My name is kezia and I am 18 years old. Everyone says that I am in a abusive relationship but I don't see it, maybe because I love him, I am goint to explain our relationship, someone please give me advice!!
I meet this guy a little over two years ago. I was 16 at the time and he was 19. I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever seen, everything about him appealed to me. I live in a small town and around here there isn't anything to do but park in parking lots and a lot of people pull up and just stand around and that's how I meet him. He finally asked me out and we started going out to the movies and stuff. I am a country girl and he is a big redneck and real popular in our town. He knows everyone and I loved that. He was so nice to me the first few months we dated, he brought me roses to work, called me everyday, we never argued at all. I was starting to fall in love, I mean really in love, he is all I thought about, we did everything together.
After months of dating he started to get a lot more possesive. He did not like hardly any of my friends and so he tried his best to keep me away from them by getting mad at me if I did stuff with them and so I quit talking to all of them b/c I didn't want him mad at me. Although I had to hang out with his friends. Then he started getting mad at me over the smallest things like if I was 20 minutes late getting home he would get mad. I literally had to spend all my time with him. I had wrecked my car and so he was taking me to school and picking me up and spending all evening with him. It was great I mean I loved hanging out with him but we were starting to fight all the time. I got him a good job working 3rd shift and everything went to hell from there really fast. He started staying ill all the time, he makes comments to me like I work all damn night what do you do? He had bought me an engagment ring and we were going to get married as soon as I turned 18.
My family and friends were noticing a change in me. I was never around, I was ill when I was around them. He never has hit me or anything but has threatned to many times over stupid stuff. He began treating me more like his daughter than his fiance.
I had to start asking him before I did anything. He has started getting mad at me and playing mind games like if he called me and I would be asleep or something he would not answer his phone when I call him back and then he would text me and acuse me of cheating or something crazy like that.
Anyway he broke up with me out of the blue one day and it broke my heart, I could't get out of bed for like 2 months. Then he started calling me again an was being all nice, we talked casually for like 3 months and then we started dating again. This time he was the same as before, only worse, I tried to not back talk him and do everything he said because I love him so much and I didn't want him to leave again but we ended up breaking up again back in december. For the past 5 months we have still been talking and seeing each other but he still get gelous over everything and because I am weak I guess and I love him I put up with it. He keeps me on edge because everyday I have to worry about not pissing him off. I cant seem to let go of him because every other guy I meet I compare to him. I don't like guys that arn't bossy anymore because I got so used to being controlled I dont know how to be with anyone else(my b/f before him was controlling to).
He has a very bad temper and I missed my period this month so I am worried about that right now. All my friends and family tell me to stay away from him and I cant seem to be able to break free, for some reason I keep hanging on. Most everyone in this town thinks he is this great guy b/c I am the only one he acts that way to. He dont think he is doing anything worng. Is this a abusive relationship? How should I handle it? I love him but I dont know what to do?
